We're Doin' Fine in '09!

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Monday October 20 2008

Welcome to yet another brand spanking new week with which we all get to play.

I almost fell over yesterday. I was shopping in Costco for the usual stuff that I need in bulk, and while musing over a package of batteries big enough to light the block, the sounds of Christmas music wafted through the store. I was stunned. We are not even at Halloween yet and the retailers have started their onslaught already.

I got to thinking, why on earth would they be whisking folks into the Christmas buying mode two and a bit months before the holiday? It all became very clear as I thought about the projected state of the economy. Stores order Christmas stuff back at the beginning of the year when the economy appeared pretty good, and with the recent turn, it looks like they are beginning to panic and are getting it out as early as possible.

What does this mean? It means that there are going to be some amazing bargains to be had for those who are ready to take advantage. The usual bloated holiday stuff is going to be at more reasonable pricing levels. Good time to take the opportunity to retain some of your dollars and get some great deals.

Our friend Philip gets us off to another great start this week as he ponders the turn off the year coming up. His advice is worth noting.

Also, check out how our friends over at Daily Insight are doing to get their week off to a fine start.

We're Doin' Fine in '09!
By Philip Humbert

Every year Mary and I select a slogan or motto for the year. This year it's been "We're GREAT in '08!" For next year we've chosen, "We're Doin' Fine in '09!" I know, many people dismiss this as silliness, but I disagree.

From Socrates to Tony Robbins, many people have observed that "we become what we think about all day long." To a large degree--not entirely, but to a large degree--we DO create our world with our thoughts. I've had ample opportunity to prove that to myself these past weeks.

Many times a day, sometimes it seems like ALL day, I have the opportunity to see our new puppy as "cute" and "creative" and "exploring his world" or in dramatically less positive ways. He chews stuff! He bites! He fights with the cat! Now, objectively, all of the above are true. The key is that I get to choose the ones I focus on.

If I focus on his "cuteness" he becomes cuddly and charming. If I focus on his energy and playfulness, my day is enriched and I laugh and we play and it's wonderful.

If I focus on the chewing and barking, the squeals from the cat and his mistakes...well, you can imagine what happens to my blood pressure. So, which picture of our new puppy is more accurate? Is he a cutie or a devil? IT'S ENTIRELY UP TO ME! (I know, those who are hopelessly addicted to "facts," will say he's a perfectly normal puppy, but what do they know about living with him?)

The reality is that I get to decide where to focus my thoughts, my attention and my attitudes. And so it is for each of us, all day long, every single day.

Is the financial situation on Wall Street (and on Main Street) good or bad? Yes, it is. Many are anxious, fearful, and of course, millions are showing a loss on their investments. But millions of others see this as "the buying opportunity of a lifetime!" Is it good or bad? Yes, and to a large degree--not entirely, but to a large degree--you get to decide!

And so it will be with your success in 2009. I'm spending lots of time with my clients looking at what worked and what didn't work in 2008, and designing strategies to move forward in 2009. I'm convince NOW is the time to design and "blueprint" the reality you want for the year ahead.

First, decide you WILL "do fine in '09!" Know, deep in your heart that you will adapt and adjust, you'll dance with whatever life throws your way, and you will triumph in '09! Sure, there will be clouds and maybe even rain. Occasionally, storms and even hurricanes strike, but through it all, you will "Do Fine in '09!"

Second, decide what "fine" looks like. Will you increase sales, or sell the business, go back to school or move to Montana? Will you adopt a child or retire? How about learning to skydive? What exactly does "doing fine" mean for you and your family? Make a list and be specific.

Third, decide on a strategy. Whether you are buying real estate or learning French or starting a business, you'll need a plan. You'll need to know how much time, money, and help you'll need. You'll need a calendar to plot dates and you'll need a chart to list your benchmarks. How will you know you're on schedule and "doin' FINE" unless you have a plan?

Fourth, decide on key partners. As the Beatles sang years ago, "We get by with a little help from our friends." No matter what "Doin' Fine in '09" looks like, you'll need support from friends and family. You may need financing. You may need a business partner, or someone to teach you. "No man (or woman) is an island." Never be a Lone Ranger! Almost everything goes better "with a little help from our friends."

Fifth, decide on a coach. All peak performers work with a coach, whether the challenge is in athletics or business, whether parenting skills or retirement planning. Sometimes the best coaches are family members or friends but more often the best coach is a professional. Get someone with the training and expertise to keep you on track, focused and productive. I have a coach because I'm serious about my goals and I KNOW that I do better with a coach. I suspect the people who will truly Do Fine in '09 will be those who work with a coach.

Tony Robbins in 22 Minutes

Welcome to the typical weeks end.

This has been an awesome week here at this desk. We've had some great feedback on readers, and some terrific suggestions about content for the winter. We'll be picking up on those suggestions as the season unfolds.

As I mentioned a couple of times, one of the highlights of the week was having Tony Robbins in the city bringing his outstanding message to over four thousand folks. Tony delivered "big time" with his usual candor and directness.

To wrap up this week we have a video presentation Tony did as one of his TED talks. Love him or not, you must give this young man's message some of your attention. When you've watched it you'll know why.

Watch the video here: Tony Robbins in 22 Minutes

Also, don't forget to check out how our friends at Daily Insight are finishing up their week.

This weekend, take some time to enjoy just being you. No stories, no worries, just you. Oh, and dress cool.

See you on Monday.

Take care,

~peter~

WAKE UP and Create Something

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Thursday October 16 2008

Welcome to this very fine Thursday.

Boy oh boy, did yesterday’s offering ever inspire some amazing responses. My hearty thanks to all who shared your very clear perspectives. I thank you.

Well, as I mentioned yesterday, Tony Robbins and a great bunch of speakers were here in town with “The Power Within” Program, and boy did they put on a show. It was for me the fifth time that I’ve been at a Tony Robbins event and he’s just as vibrant as he’s always been. The other thing I noticed about him, as he celebrates his 30th year in his business, is how incredibly relevant he is. His message contained something that had to have touched every single one of the four thousand people in the auditorium.

Almost every person I know has at least one Tony Robbins work in their library, and I’m strongly suggesting that you re-visit yours, you might just be surprised again with what you read.

Today’s offering is presented by a chum of Tony and reflects much of what they both endorse.

WAKE UP and Create Something
By Bob Doyle

It's time for the "mainstream" to WAKE UP. The alarm clock is ringing, they keep hitting snooze, and in the meantime, the life they could be living is passing them by. Day after day, millions of people go through their lives wishing and hoping and dreaming that things could be better, with absolutely no knowledge that it is they themselves that perpetuate their own dissatisfaction.

It is not the "gifted few" who create their realities. It's not just for those in the metaphysical community. It is all of us. Every single one. However, there are a few who have awakened to this knowledge, and make creating their reality a daily event...manifesting whatever it is they want in their life with seemingly no effort! Meanwhile the rest of the world looks on in wonder and disbelief. They assume that these "fortunate few" are among the cosmically lucky.

To be honest, the whole thing generates some anger in me. The problem is that we are "dumbed down" by society throughout our whole lives under the pretense that we are actually being intellectualized. The "scholarly" tell us that metaphysical topics like reality creation are pure fantasy. Science insists on measurable evidence of everything before it will acknowledge such claims as fact.

However, it's really not that difficult to comprehend. Even the most skeptical people should be able to grasp a few simple concepts like:

• Everything in the Universe is composed of Energy, including you and me. Even our thoughts are Energy.
• Through Energy, everything in the Universe is connected.
• The Universe creates without effort, and in abundance. Just look around you. Trees, rocks, air, planets, etc. all were created without stress, effort, or over-analyzation. The Force you choose to believe initiated the creative process doesn't matter. They are all there and were created effortlessly.
• You ARE a part of the Universe and through the power of thought, have the same creative power that manifests everything you see. The only thing that limits your potential is your own belief system!

Everything that occurs in your life is interpreted BY YOU. You add the meaning, you add the emotional response, you add EVERYTHING. It is your thoughts that literally take the energy "data" and transpose it into your reality. What you consider "real" is nothing more than an agreement that you've made with yourself (and no doubt many others in some cases).

This is how our reality has been shaped. This is how we have learned what is possible, and what is impossible. We learned it from OTHER PEOPLE. The problem is, these other people (family and friends perhaps?) have their OWN limiting belief systems which they ALSO consider "real." So human limitations spread like a virus, and we don't even realize what's happening.

As discouraging as this is, many of us ARE waking up. I personally feel it my sacred duty to shake people out of this "intellectual trance" that limits them and show them what is truly possible.

So what IS the difference between those who cruise through life in a seemingly perpetual state of bliss, with everything they want coming to them with no effort, and the rest of the population working at jobs they hate for the sake of doing the "responsible" thing, hoping that SOME DAY they can live the lives they hope for?

The difference is that these people know their purpose, know WHY they absolutely HAVE to fulfill that purpose, and commit themselves to never stopping until they realize their dream. They may or may not have thrown the accepted definition of "responsibility" out the window. The only thing that matters ultimately is that they now live lives they love, following their passions.

You see it is our PASSIONS in life that tell us precisely what we are to do. When we follow our passions, our life lights up. We give off incredibly powerful energy which attracts our desires to us. That means people, money, objects, careers...whatever we want that is in line with our purpose.

The Universe WANTS to provide those things we want most. It is only our own limiting belief systems that stop fulfillment from occurring.

Create The Relationships You Want.

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Wednesday October 15 2008

Welcome to the midweek point.

I’m all abuzz here today. I’m off to see one of my very favorite guys present his magic here in town. Mr. Tony Robbins and a bunch of incredible speakers are visiting, and I’m going to be there to hear what they have to say about the conditions we currently find ourselves in, and more importantly, what they believe we can do about them. It’s going to be a hoot.

One of the things that have come up for me of late as I venture back into my coaching world, is the power that we have to determine the quality of all of our relationships. Unquestionably, it is our relationships that are the bedrock of our lives, both personally and professionally.

I asked some of our contributors to address this subject recently, and their response was just fabulous. One that popped right to the top was a new contributor and I’m sure you’ll like what she has to share with you today.

Also, our buddies over at Daily Insight have some neat stuff going in the middle of their week. Check them out.

Create the Relationships You Want
By Betsey McGuire

In your love relationship, what is it exactly that you envision for yourself? Not the physical 'looks' of your mate, but what is the interaction you wish for, the treatment you desire, the way to negotiate the outcome of disagreements, the quiet times, the way you want to 'be' with him?

To create this relationship you want, without giving up an ounce of being yourself, see your goal and work backwards from there in order to achieve the desired results. If you are in an argument, say a very big one, see if you can take a minute to mentally go inside yourself. Check to see if you can answer the question, "What do I actually want here?" You have to be simple and unemotional in your real answer to yourself. Unhelpful answers like, "I want to win!" or "I want to squash him under my heel like a bug," or "I don't know why he won't be nice to me?" do not work and they do not count. Those are statements that don't produce results and they are self-indulgent.

The kind of internal thought process I'm talking about here might go something like this: "What do I really want here?" Answer, "I want peace," or "I want to stop talking about this," or "I just want us to be happy together."

Perhaps you're still answering the "what do I want" question with answers like, "I want him to stay home with me and order pizza and watch movies, instead of going out to fulfill his agenda!" Just imagine the whine already inserted in that sentence cuz I can hear it as I type it. This is a situation in which the end result involves only you and how you feel, not a compromise on the part of your partner (although sometimes that's a happy side effect).

So, say you "just want peace." Now ask yourself, "Am I ready to just have peace and to let go of my own agenda here?" To take the ego out of it, the 'win.' If the answer is yes, then ask, "What's the quickest way to get to that?" And do it. If it means simply going to bed or removing yourself from the company of the other person, just say in a neutral tone that that is what you want, "Y'know, I am all worked up about this right now and it doesn't need to be all tense like this. I love you, but I need a break. I just want peace! I'm gonna (go to bed) (take a walk) (go to Jen's) for a little while. You go ahead and ________ and it's just fine. I'm not mad, I just want to get over it and move on." Keep it short, sweet (must be said as nicely as possible while still being authentic), and then act.

If you can do this honestly with yourself, you will feel:

1. Better about yourself (I am not controlling, I can let go, I can compromise, I can give to others without making them feel crummy about receiving)

2. More in control. Weird, but giving up control of your own volition creates a surge of personal power. It's not giving up control if you choose to do it happily.

3. Wiser, smarter, nicer, happier, more loving, and more lovable.

Hold up your hands, palm against palm, and push them against each other. Now stop pushing with one hand. The other hand falls down. Imagine you and your partner are the palms and you are the one that stops pushing. The argument just collapses. Of course, there will be plenty of times when you're completely justified in your anger and you just can't (or don't want to) reel yourself in. No one can just be Zen-like all the time. I'm just saying that if you can create a moment of mental clarity in the midst of a fog of frustration or anger, you can step away from the whole thing and just kind of say, either to yourself, or to him too, "Y'know, I am stepping away from this. I feel all nasty and ugly and tense, and I don't want to feel that way, I don't want to be that way." If you do it FOR YOU, in order for you to feel good, it works.

If you envision for yourself a loving, considerate, relationship between equals, then ask yourself how to get that with this one you love? If YOU act in that manner, that's halfway to your goal, now it's up to him to provide the other portion the formula. If you push and bulldoze your way through to get what YOU want, that doesn't leave much room for the other person to be loving, considerate, and kind. It creates a "Well, what about me and what I want?" feeling - a feeling of, "I'd better grab what I want right now because otherwise he'll take it and there won't be any left for me!"

I'm thinking more of jockeying for time for special interests right now (I want to take a long bike ride, so I'm gonna say so right now before he can mention the tee time I know he wants to make, then I will win). So, you mention the ride you want to take, he counters with the tee time he's been looking forward to. You can say something along the lines of, "Well, maybe you can go when I get back," knowing that the later in the day he goes out, the worse his chances will be to accomplish his goal. OR you could think, "Hmmmm, maybe I can stay here, bite the bullet, and take the kids on errands for a few hours, then by the time he gets back, I will really appreciate that time on the bike... and I can miss the whiny afternoon time!" and say, "Can I go out when you get back?" Of course, he'll be feeling so pleased that there's not a power struggle that will ruin both of your times spent on your special thing, that he should step right up and say, "Sure, of course," and pay you back for being so big about it by returning right on time.

Sometimes, most of the time, if you can be the giving one first, you will get what you ultimately need and get it with a smile from the one who's giving it. Next time around, when you mention your need to get out, he should remember how giving you were about that tee time, how you put off your agenda simply because you could and perhaps he'll be eager to give you back some of the generosity you gave him.

Many times when I've used the bulldoze method to get what I want when I want it and how I want it, the method I've used to get my way has sucked all the enjoyment right out of the activity OR I spend a lot of the time watching the clock because I feel guilty about "winning." Loosen up, let go, be someone you'd like to hang around or be in love with. Be lovable. Do something nice for no reason. Make something nice happen instead of waiting for something nice to happen. Make something nice happen for someone else. Nice is nicer when it's done for others. It just feels better for YOU, and that's what we mostly want, to just feel good, to feel loved, to feel accepted, to feel like we belong. So go ahead and give of yourself and your heart and give someone what they want, you'll reap the benefits right along side of the recipient.

Betsy is 43 years old, working on her masters in mental health counseling.

Reserves Make Life Easier

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Tuesday October 14 2008

I have to say that the Thanksgiving celebration here at our Canadian home was spectacular. The food was outstanding, the giving of “thanks” was fitting, and the company was, dare I say, exceptional.

Much discussion was given to the shifting financial scenarios that we’ll all be dealing with in the next while. Some of the folks we talked with will be taking an “ostrich” approach, some will be assuming a fetal position and shoving their thumb in their mouth, and the intrepid ones will be looking at the new circumstances as just that, “circumstances”.

They will not be involving themselves in dead end conversations that simply perpetuate the problem, nor will they be “heading for the hills” to find tenuous shelter, they will be boldly assessing the reality they face and get down to taking every advantage afforded them. Now that’s living with 100% responsibility.

Our friend Philip presents us an offering today that you should absolutely pay attention too in these times.

And, don't forget to check out what our friends at Daily Insight are doing in their world today.

Reserves Make Life Easier
by Philip Humbert

The recent turmoil in our financial markets has reminded many of us that in times of trouble, "cash is king." Many years ago, one of my mentors, Thomas Leonard, tried to teach me this using the phrase that, "Reserves make everything easy."

Thomas' focus was that even the most difficult things in life are "easy" if we are prepared. I've known two people who have attempted to climb Mt Everest and both say even that extreme challenge is straight-forward and "easily tackled" with good preparation.

The famous football coach, Vince Lombardi, used to say that it wasn't the "will to win" that created championship teams--everyone wants to win!--it was "the will to prepare to win" that made all the difference.

I'm convinced that both Thomas Leonard and Vince Lombardi knew what they were talking about. Thomas preferred the term "reserves." I suspect partly that was because he liked being distinctive and "having reserves" resonates differently than copying the Boy Scout motto, "Be prepared." But both are sound advice.

Thomas talked about having "reserves" in every area of life. I still laugh when I think of him lecturing me on having extra boxes of tissue in the house and insisting I change the oil in my car before it was due. Obviously, he didn't care about tissue or oil changes. His point was that life gets very, very hard (stressful, chaotic, hurried) when we feel squeezed by circumstances. Never do anything at the last minute! Allow time. Schedule in advance. Maintain plenty of "reserve."

Life will inevitably throw problems our way. This week my wireless router quit and our network died. By connecting my computer directly to the modem I could continue working, but far more helpful was my long-standing relationship with our "computer guy." One phone call and on Thursday we were back in business. A problem? Sure. Annoying? Of course. But easily handled and life goes on. That's what Thomas wanted me to "get" about reserves.

Here are a few areas where I recommend you maintain extra reserves:


1. Personal finances. Whether it's $50 in your wallet or a family savings account for the emergencies that will eventually happen (car repairs, unscheduled travel), maintain some "extra." Many people use credit cards for these unplanned expenses, but I prefer knowing cash is on my side.

2. Daily Schedule. Most of us live hectic lives and the thought of "extra time" seems "impossible." But it's not impossible. Schedule time for yourself. Schedule time to meditate, take a walk or a bath, read a book or write in your journal. If unplanned events demand extra time you have it, but most days you get a nice "treat" just for you!

3. Everyday consumables. Reduce the "hassle factor" in life! From extra food in the cupboard to toilet paper in the closet or a stash of office supplies, make sure you never "have to" run an unscheduled errand. Plan ahead. Buy in bulk. You don't need a garage full of stuff, but interrupting your day to chase one or two items is incredibly expensive! Don't do it. Maintain reserves.

4. Personal relationships. Relationships require maintenance. Put some "extra" into your friendships. Extra time. Extra thought. When appropriate send cards, notes, flowers, or have a cup of coffee, go for a walk, watch a movie, play tennis. Quality relationships don't just happen. They must be built. Maintain generous, loving reserves in your most important relationships.

We seem to be entering tough economic times. So prepare. Take care of yourself. The temptation is to run faster and work harder, but don't fall into that trap! In tough times you want to be sharp, alert and quick. Stay focused. Keep your edge. Maintain your reserves! It makes life easier and gives you the resources to seize opportunity when it comes your way.

Gratitude Game: The Movie

Welcome once again to the typical weeks end.

We’ve been having a ton of fun here these past days as we measure all of the things we are in “gratitude” for. The list continues to build and no end is in sight. I do believe that there in lies the “magic” of living.

Here in Canada we get to celebrate our Thanksgiving holiday this weekend. We get to sit in contemplation of the incredible number of blessings that touch our lives each and every day. Take time this weekend, get out your notepad, and jot down every single thing you can imagine in your life that you must be “grateful” for. When it’s
done, you’ll have a whole new perspective on the magnificence of your life experiences.

Our friend Denise Coates created a lovely video to bring the whole issue of “Gratitude” close to home.

You’ll see it here: Gratitude Game: The Movie

No matter where you are situated in the world, this weekend take all the time you need to appreciate the many incredible blessings that touch your life.

Oh, and by the way, I deeply appreciate you, and I'm grateful that you are in my life.

We're taking the Thanksgiving weekend off and I'll see you on Tuesday.

Check in and see how our buddies over at Daily Insight are winding up their week.

Take care and have an outsatnding weekend,

~peter~

Happiness Takes Work - 5 Choices To Create Happiness

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Thursday October 9 2009

Welcome to Thursday.

As you could undoubtedly tell with yesterday’s note, I’m taking these few days before the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday here in Canada to highlight why we are so incredibly wealthy on this continent. Yesterday I got a call from a subscriber who just wanted to let me know that she is really taking the massages of “gratitude” seriously.

She went on to explain that she was consciously “showing up” as a person who is happy, grateful for all she has, and smiling as if she owned the world. The reactions she said she was getting were incredible. People were smiling back, listening when she spoke, more courteous, and she felt were more patient.

When I asked if who was really being different, she choked up just a bit, and went on to acknowledge that it was her who was being different. She said, “Peter, it dawned on me that it was how I was “showing up” that caused the old reactions in people. They were just being themselves.”

Folks, the Universe must always be “mirroring” back to us exactly how we are being. Got it?

Today’s offering ties some things together quite lovely.

Happiness Takes Work - 5 Choices To Create Happiness
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

All of us have met people who just seem to be happy most of the time. Perhaps you have assumed that these people are just naturally happy, or that they are the lucky people who have an easy life, or they had really loving parents. Most of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Happy people are making specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. Happy people CONSCIOUSLY choose to think and behave in ways that result in happiness. Unhappy people are UNCONSCIOUSLY thinking and behaving in ways that create unhappiness.

Following are five of the specific choices that happy people make:

OPTIMISM

Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people choose to be pessimistic - to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in charge and open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer. Happy people realize that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that leads to manifestation. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in ways that manifest their dreams.

KINDNESS

Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves and others. Happy people have learned that how they treat themselves and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness is the result.

FORGIVENESS

Happy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realize that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness and forgive them their hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not to take personally others’ uncaring behavior, they don’t get their feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take others’ behavior personally. Happy people recognize that another’s behavior is really about that other person, so they move into compassion toward themselves and others rather than into judgment.

ACCEPTANCE

Happy people realize what they can control and what they can’t. They live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the things they cannot change and changing the things they can. Unhappy people are constantly trying to change people and circumstances and do not accept their lack of control. As a result, they are constantly frustrated. Happy people realize they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on what they can control - their own thinking and behavior. Acceptance of what they can and cannot control leads to happiness and inner peace.

GRATITUDE

Finally, happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather than complaining about what they don’t have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude for the everyday things in their lives - the beauty of nature, the food they eat, the smile on a friend’s face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they are missing out on.

If you want to be happy, then you need to recognize that happiness is the result of your thinking and behavior, not the cause of it. If you choose to focus on becoming conscious of what thoughts and behavior make you feel happy, you can become a happy person - regardless of your present circumstances.

Happiness does not just happen - it takes work!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. best-selling author of eight books, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com.