Be The Boss Of Your Life

By Jon Rhodes

Do you feel like a follower instead of a leader? Would you like to gain more control of your life? Do people make many of your life decisions for you? Would you like to have pride and faith in your decision-making? If you answer "yes" to any of these then read on...

You do not have to be a leader of many to have a successful and fulfilling life, but you must at least be your own boss in life. A lot of people have a lot of advice or may even manipulate the decisions you make. Often they believe it is in your best interest. Sometimes it is to benefit themselves.

Usually when someone tries to influence a decision of yours, they take the stance of the decision which would benefit them if they were in your position. However they are not you! Something which may be right for them is not necessarily right for you.

It is always worth listening to the advice of others, as you can get some good solutions to use. However it is your life, your decision, and you who must face the consequences if things "go wrong" (not that anything is actually "wrong" - there is usually a lot of good that comes from any consequence, if we learn from our mistakes and spot other opportunities that arise as a result). Therefore, you should always make the decision yourself, especially if there are manipulators in your life. Do you think that innovators such as Edison, Einstein, Da Vinci or Mozart blindly followed others' advice?

Many of us were conditioned in early life to surrender our power. Our parents, family, teachers, society, etc. often taught us to be followers rather than leaders. Do any of these rules look familiar?

Be quiet
Don't get too big for your boots
Be seen and not heard
Think of others before you think of yourself
Be happy with what you have got
Don't show off
Do as you are told
Don't be a know it all
Don't get too excited
Be modest
Do not answer back

These types of suggestions are typically bombarded into the brains of children for many years on a daily basis. Whilst the intention is usually constructive, they do not help in later life. They can leave some of us becoming dependent upon someone else's permission and opinions to lead us. Most people, for example, are too afraid to quit their job and start their own business; too afraid to ask their boss for a raise; too afraid to really "sell themselves" at job interviews; don't believe they can (or should be) great at anything. Great people like Nelson Mandella and Muhammed Ali were certainly not afraid to be great, be noticed, and make a difference.

Instead of those limiting viewpoints, how about adopting these instead:

Be ambitious
Don't be modest
Think big
Be noticed
Be enthusiastic about your ideas
Be proud of yourself
Have confidence in your abilities
Be brave
Do not apologize if you have done nothing wrong

There is a great person in each and every one of us. It can be unlocked by simply believing in ourselves, and having the courage to follow our ideas. What use to the world is a shrinking violet? Does the world really admire these types of people? Do you admire these people?

Let go of these limiting suggestions of the past and embrace these new more positive ways of being. Go for the things you want in life.

Be seen.
Be heard.
Be proud.
Be successful.

You deserve it!

Jon Rhodes is a well respected clinical hypnotherapist

The Every-Day Magic of Small Steps

by Philip Humbert

One of the great tragedies is to spend life nurturing a great dream, a "magnificent obsession" and never see it come true. To die with your dreams still inside you, waiting for another time, another day, or a "big break" is the greatest of failures. We cannot wait!

Literally every thing you see and every tool you use, even the chair you're sitting on, began as nothing but thought. Someone had an idea for a chair. Henry Ford had an idea that cars could be in every garage. Your computer began as an idea and a series of huge, crude devices in the 1940's. The computer you are looking at right now began as someone's idea that they could manufacture and sell computers better, faster and cheaper than anyone else.

Everything starts with an idea.

It always has, and always will.Many people have observed that "ideas are things." Thoughts and words have the power to move us, to change us, and to become living, breathing, tangible things! In a sense, our world is made up of nothing but thoughts and words!

But there is a gulf between an idea and its fulfillment.

Most "things" are actually still-born and never come to fruition because we fail to span the gulf between potential and reality. That gap can only be bridged with daily action.

How many times have you thought of an invention or process that could be worth a fortune and later found that same (or a similar) product for sale a few months later? We've all had that experience. Someone got rich off "your" idea and the difference is that they took specific, concrete, focused ACTION. Their product is in the store, for sale, making them money, and your idea is still...a dream.

Here are some basics, some essentials to make your dreams come true:

1. Keep a list of big things. On your desk, or on your bathroom mirror, keep a list of your most important projects, goals and commitments. Keep it where you see it, and read it, every day. Keep it current. What we think about, gets done.

2. Keep a list of small things. Keep a list of 5-minute tasks, phone calls or notes that you can do any place, any time. When you have a moment, make that call. Every day, send a note or read a few pages. Always know "what's next" and take action, every single day.

3. Plan your days. Every evening, plan the following day. First thing in the morning, plot your strategy. Leaders have always done this! This is not new! But only about 4% of the population does it. Write down your priorities and choose your daily actions.

4. Take magnificent care of yourself! Healthy, happy, energetic people get the most done. It takes time and energy to achieve greatness. If you "don't have time," or are too tired or too distracted, you will not achieve your dreams. Take care of yourself.

We've all heard the phrase, "Rome wasn't built in a day." We know that "a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step," and we've heard the Serenity Prayer that ends, "Give me the courage to change the things I can."

Most of us will not achieve great things over-night because in general, human beings do not do "big" things. We do little things. We get up, we go to work. We hug our loved ones, we make phone calls. We balance the checkbook, exercise and fix dinner. We do little things! Highly successful people simply do the right little things, at the right time, in the right way, and they do lots of them.

If you would achieve great things, do little things and pile them one on top of another, until you reach the stars.

Start today.

Forgiveness - A Journey To Freedom

by Dr. Trish Whynot


Forgiveness is a journey toward freedom from our past. It is a process that takes some effort and along the road there are plateaus that we reach. We may think that forgiveness is complete at these resting points and then something comes up to show us that there is more work to be done. These plateaus are where we tend to get stuck, to be hard on ourselves and to judge. The process of forgiveness is transformational; it is complex, not to be taken lightly and not something that can be done on command. Be patient and tender with yourself on your journey toward forgiveness. You will know you have forgiven when only love and gratitude remain in your heart for the person you desire to forgive and for the opportunity for personal growth and healing that was presented.



How often do we accept an apology without thinking twice about what we are really feeling around the issue and how often do we say the word, “sorry” without ever taking the time to understand why we did what we did in the first place? Are we practicing forgiveness here or attempting to avoid conflict? When we are on the giving or receiving end of someone saying “sorry,” if there is no attempt to understand the situation and to learn from it, we will find ourselves in this place again and after awhile “sorry” will have no meaning.



When we can resolve an issue and consecrate it with forgiveness we are free to move forward unencumbered by the past. We are able to move forward with a deeper understanding of who we are and with something we have learned. We will have let go of some emotional bondage and be able to move forward with a lighter load. Our unfinished business becomes complete and can be released, freeing up energy no longer needed to keep the unresolved issue and its emotional charge alive. Think about how great it feels when you complete a project. You no longer need to put any attention or energy toward it and now are free to put that energy elsewhere. Unfinished business, whether on the inside or the outside, is energetically exhausting and when we are giving away too much of our energy to all this stuff, it is not available for our use in keeping ourselves healthy and creative. You will merely be in survival mode, trying to keep all your stuff alive. We have cords coming from us to feed our stuff that is waiting for resolution and may wonder why we feel so tied down and drained at times. Completing unfinished business on the inside will free up space for unfinished business to resolve itself on the outside. This is also why we feel so free and full of energy and vitality when our unfinished business is completed. It is truly a rush; a rush of energy coming back into us and it feels great!


If we look at prison as a metaphor, we have criminals that are doing time to make up for what they have done and people awaiting trial. We put parts of ourselves in prisons of our own design, parts of ourselves that are awaiting trial, so to speak, waiting for us to give them a voice, waiting for us to take time to understand where they were coming from and waiting for us to forgive them and bring them back into our hearts. We also have parts of ourselves that we can’t forgive, that we have placed in solitary confinement. Those parts of ourselves that have done things that we can’t take back, that we have deemed unforgivable.


By putting these parts of ourselves out of our hearts we have put them in prison. We have scattered our light, separated ourselves from our Selves and are fragmented rather than whole. We may believe that locking up these parts will protect us from ourselves and make us more acceptable to others, but we are only fooling ourselves. In the process of resolving our unfinished business and bringing parts of ourselves back into our hearts we are able to move forward with more of our Self and a deeper understanding of life. We are lighter and able to attract more of what we want because we are becoming more of the beautiful, loving Being that we truly are.


Avoidance is a plateau on the forgiveness journey. Avoidance involves judging others. If we have not done the personal healing involved in the forgiveness process we may move forward in life attempting to dodge situations of like essence in the future. Perhaps betrayal is something you experienced in the past, if you have unfinished business around this event you may go through life seeing it through the eyes of betrayal, judging others rather than communicating your feelings, in order to avoid betrayal in the future. This takes a lot of energy to do and focusing your attention on betrayal will draw more opportunities for betrayal to you because what you put your attention toward is what you will create.



Forgiveness frees us from the past. Being freed from the past means that we have unlocked emotions and unfinished business, processed through them, learned from them, taken our power back and released them. Being freed from our past means that the issue or event no longer has a hold on us, we are no longer keeping it alive with our energy and no longer need to avoid the issue because we know that our energy is less likely to attract it. Because of what we have learned, if we do attract a situation with similar essence in the future, we now have the tools to handle it.



Being freed from our past doesn’t mean that we have forgiven and forgotten. We never have to forgive someone for what they have done. This is a place where people get stuck because there are things that people do that are just unforgivable. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that we forgive someone and invite him or her for dinner and it doesn’t mean that we need to contact the person in order to finish our unfinished business.



Necessary to the forgiveness process is being able to forgive someone for why they have done whatever they did. Forgiveness means that we have done the work involved to release ourselves from the emotional bondage that the event created for us. Forgiveness requires that we give ourselves permission to be free, to stop identifying ourselves with the event. If we are still talking about how we were wronged we are getting something out of it. We know that forgiveness is complete when our discussion is on what we have learned from it in efforts to help others who may be stuck here.



Sometimes we find ourselves having difficulty forgiving others because they couldn’t admit that they were wrong. When someone can admit that they were wrong the relationship has the potential of going to the next level of intimacy, bringing both parties closer through being vulnerable with their feelings. When the perpetrator can take responsibility for the feelings that fueled their actions and the victim can take responsibility for their emotions that attracted the situation there is the potential for growth and healing individually and in the relationship.


There is always a gift for us on our journey toward forgiveness but sometimes we have difficulty seeing it. Sometimes someone comes into our lives attracted by our energy, brings an issue to our awareness and then falls out of our lives. The issue that has been brought to our awareness is the gift. The situation is showing us something present in our energy field that is attracting this person and/or event to us. We all have free will and if the perpetrator is not ready to own his or her stuff then it may be necessary for us to let them go to figure it out with someone else. Fortunately they don’t need to own their stuff and apologize in order for us to be free to move forward in our lives.



We have all been the perpetrator and the victim at one time or another. When we come from a place of fear we can hurt other people. In being conscious of the place that we are coming from we can more easily avoid hurting others by being conscious of our feelings and choosing to come from a place of love.



Pretending to act from a place of love is another plateau on the forgiveness journey. We all long to act from a loving place, but we can’t pretend to do so. It is energetically impossible. You may be able to fool someone on the surface, but unresolved emotions will fuel your words and actions. When our emotions are not in line with our words/actions, we send mixed messages and our unconscious emotions can hurt the person on the receiving end whether they are aware of them or not. Our unconscious emotions are capable of pushing away those we love and can ultimately kill love over time. Unconscious fuel can leave energetic scars on the mental, emotional and spiritual levels of others. Pretending to act from a place of love on the forgiveness journey is really acting from a place of arrogance. Rising above the other person in an attempt to forgive is believing you are better than they are and that is arrogant. It would be more loving to be honest and let someone know that you had some feelings they brought up for you that are in need of resolution. Then at least they’d know where you were coming from rather than wondering and trying to decipher mixed messages.


Don’t confuse feeling sorry for someone with forgiveness. Forgiving someone because you feel sorry for him or her is arrogant as well. Feeling sorry for someone is judging them, looking down on them and assuming they aren’t capable of changing. Sometimes in our attempt to forgive a family member we may go through the feeling sorry for them phase in an attempt to keep them in our lives. This can serve the purpose of putting us back in control, but staying in this place will leave you on another plateau. It may help you to get through the holidays, but it won’t free you from your past. In feeling sorry for someone we aren’t honoring him or her or ourselves. Feeling sorry for someone can feed their self-pity, contributing to keeping them stuck.


Feeling an emotional charge is another clue that more work needs to be done in the process of forgiveness. When you note that talking about an event or person that hurt you in the past gets you heated or brings tears to the surface there is still an emotional charge. You may have cried or vented, but the roots of the emotion are still present. Healing at the root may involve peeling back layers that involve similar pain from past experiences with others, leading back to childhood events. Avoiding your feelings will leave you on another plateau.

If an issue affects us on a cellular level, it will be difficult to release and forgive and you may need some assistance in your process. If you feel like you should be over something and moving beyond, but aren’t able to do so, don’t judge yourself or fall into judgments from others, be honest with yourself and love yourself enough to get some help in your process. Chances are that there is a lot more going on than what is on the surface and that the processing could be transformational for you. It takes great strength and courage to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.


Rationalizing and intellectualizing feelings in our head and judging them as acceptable or not will not release them. We need to bring our emotions in so we can feel them. In feeling them we can begin to understand why we are experiencing them and trace them back to their origin for healing. Looking back on a childhood event, we may judge it as not such a big deal, but through the eyes of a child it was huge. It is necessary for us to feel through the eyes of that child. This is where meditative techniques can be very beneficial to our process.



We have been taught to disregard our feelings as children and therefore go to great lengths to avoid the discomfort as adults. The more we try to avoid our feelings, the more we bury them and the harder they seem to come at us from others. Once we have some tools to process and understand our feelings we realize how wonderful and powerful they are. There are feelings attached to everything we think, do and say.



We have an abundance of Divine assistance available to us when we ask. Often when we ask for help in forgiving someone the assistance comes through in the form of situations coming at us where people are triggering our emotions. People triggering our emotions are helping us to bring buried feelings from our past to consciousness. As adults, when our emotions are triggered, only 10 to 20 percent of what we feel is from the current situation and the other 80 to 90 percent is old stuff coming to the surface. Unlocking and releasing emotions that we didn’t have the maturity or tools to process through initially is an integral part of the forgiveness process. Our emotions must be felt one last time in order to release them. If emotions around the issue arise bring them in and feel them. These feelings hold keys to our freedom from the past and our ability to create an extraordinary future.


It takes some work to get to the place and the space of forgiveness. Resolving our unfinished business and forgiving others and ourselves for not being perfect can create space for more of what we do want to come in. Feeling and releasing emotions that were attached to our unfinished business and replacing the voids with self-love, forgiveness and understanding, we will be magnets for more love. When we can receive love we can receive anything. Like attracts like. If we harbor anger we will be a magnet for angry people or for situations that will trigger our anger. If we choose to be conscious of our experiences and to process through them we can learn to create our lives. We can create, not with force, fear, or at the expense of others, but by tapping into our personal power and creating with love, harm to none, and by clearing the obstacles that we have put in place so that what we desire can find its way to us.


Forgiveness is truly a journey to freedom. You never have to forgive someone for what they did, resume a relationship, or contact someone from your past for forgiveness to be complete. Being free from your past is a decision only you can make.


It requires some effort, but it’s worth the trip. Freeing yourself from your past enables you to live more, love more and be more in your future. Freeing yourself of emotional bondage, you are free to move forward with a lighter load and capable of attracting more optimal futures than were previously conceivable. When the emotional charge from the pain incurred has shifted to the memory of what you have learned from the experience and only love and gratitude remain in your heart for yourself and those you have forgiven, you will know that forgiveness is complete. A greater understanding for the deeper meaning of your earth experience and destiny will be revealed and you will probably choose to learn in a more elegant fashion in the future. Life will be more fun, love will be less scary and you will truly believe that it’s great to be you!



The forgiveness process teaches us to be tender with ourselves and with others. We are all capable of hurting ourselves and others when coming from a place of fear and emptiness, but the process of forgiveness helps us to love ourselves and to consciously express from a place of love toward others.



In order to give the best of yourself it is necessary to love yourself first; otherwise you are giving from a place of sacrifice, which is a very, empty place.



Fall in love with yourself.

Forgiveness - The Path To Healing & Spiritual Growth

by Lisa Hoskins

The dictionary defines the word forgive as: [to pardon, as to for-give an enemy; to cease to feel resentment for, as to forgive an offense].

I have heard people say this many times: "I will never forgive them for what they did!", as if by saying this they are causing harm to the person who hurt them. The reality is that they are doing the harm to themselves alone. As defined in the dictionary, when you forgive someone you "cease to feel resentment". Resentment, along with anger, hate, jealousy and other negative emotions, will eat you up inside and can cause actual physical ailments and disease.

Often times after we have been emotionally, physically or spiritually hurt, the pain quickly turns to anger and resentment. We go over the episodes of the past in our heads, re-living each painful moment again and again like a never-ending nightmare. Each time we do this the old feelings surface and we once again feel the gut-wrenching pain the person caused us. By doing this we are living in the past instead of the present, and it can be a dangerous thing for everyone involved but the majority of danger falls right into your lap.

Many people feel that forgiveness is a gift. I agree! It is a gift, but not to the one you are forgiving. The gift is to yourself and what a wondrous gift it can be.

By forgiving the people who have hurt you in the past you set yourself free from the chains of resentment and other harmful emotions running rampant through your mind, body and spirit. By forgiving you are taking away the control the other person has over you. You are empowering yourself and growing by spiritual leaps and bounds. You will heal deep-rooted pain that perhaps you thought was gone a long time ago but has survived, living under all of the resentment that you have held onto for so long. By forgiving you are one step closer to your journey of self-growth and healing.

Some of you are on a journey of helping Creator to give healing to others who need it. The first step on your journey is to heal yourself. This can be very difficult as well as painful but the upside to the difficulties and pain is the end result, which is very rewarding indeed. It will be rewarding for both you as a healer and for those who you will help to heal.

I have heard of horrific and tragic stories relating to the suffering that people on this earth have gone through and like many of you, I have often asked how Creator could place anyone in such situations.

The truth of the matter is that many people who have lived such suffering and painful lives, or have survived horrific events go on to become wonderful healers on this earth, doing Creator's work.

They start foundations, organizations, become therapists, doctors, authors of self-help and spiritual books, host talk shows. The list goes on.

So perhaps this was Creator's plan all along and we should be thankful for many of the sufferings that have taken place and that we have to endure. Without them many people would not be who they are today - stronger, healthier, more forgiving, more helpful to others, more loving.

I once held on to a great amount of anger towards someone who had caused me pain for many years. One day a spiritual healer asked me to surround this person in light and send him love. I looked at the spiritual healer as if she were crazy! How DARE she ask me to do such a thing! How did she even think I would be capable of forgiving someone who had hurt me so bad?! I tried to remain open to what she was telling me, but honestly did not believe I could go through with it.

Then she said something to me that grabbed my attention - "By forgiving him and sending him loving thoughts, you will free yourself and he will no longer have such a great hold on you". As I drove home after speaking with her, I thought of this sentence many times and just the idea of the freedom from the pain sounded so joyous and peaceful, yet far away at the same time.

About a week later I quietly sat down and asked Creator to help me do what needed to be done. I asked Creator to surround this man in his light, and then sent loving thoughts to him along with my forgiveness. Most importantly, I forgave myself for the choices I had made during those years, and took responsibility for them as well. The pain that I had been holding for so long in my heart slowly poured out as I wept tears of sadness and joy at the same time. That day I freed myself from the chains of resentment and anger, from the pain I had endured for so many years, and from the control of a man who would no longer control anything about me, or within me.... I had healed myself with help from Creator, and from the spiritual healer who with one sentence changed me, and healed me. I am thankful to her and to my experience, for it has made me who I am today.

The next time you think of the act of forgiveness, try not to only see the other person(s) as the only recipient. for you are the most important recipient involved, and you are well worth it.

Get Over It!

By: Neil Parmar

Are you obsessing over your shortcomings? Here's a few tips that will help you get on with your life.

Ever get stressed out because you weren't sure what you'd say at that morning meeting? Worried about what you'd look like after squeezing into last year's bathing suit? Have you said something you know you shouldn’t have?

Self-consciousness keeps us fighting that battle to control our self-image. But obsessing over our shortcomings inevitably traps us in embarrassment and shame.

The difference between embarrassment and shame is slight but significant, and the distinction is crucial for building a protective armor of self-esteem. When we introduce our friends to a colleague and forget her name, it's an embarrassing blow to our image, because we think others are viewing us in a negative light. If there are enough embarrassing moments that we begin viewing ourselves badly, then our self-image collapses and we feel that heavy weight of shame.

Creating a pillar of success in our lives is one way to end the dreaded trap of embarrassment and shame. Successfully completing a difficult project at work builds confidence and leads to future success. Similarly, a satisfying relationship is a prideful accomplishment and helps motivate us to seek other such connections.

But how do we take that first brave step away from self-consciousness in order to feel like (and ultimately become) a success?

Kill shame-inducing situations before they become a threat, advises David Allyn, Ph.D., a Harvard-trained social scientist and visiting scholar at Columbia University's Institute for Social and Economic Research and Policy. His book, I Can't Believe I Just Did That, includes a few pointers:

Be on time. Punctuality creates self-discipline and impresses both others and yourself. It's a healthy habit that keeps you calm about the clock.

Stick to the facts. You're bound to get caught lying, so why bother? Lies just set you up with unnecessary opportunities to feel ashamed.

Cut the gossip. Comments made behind your back sting, and don't forget how you feel about those who talked about you. Focus on deep, meaningful talk where every conversation can be a chance to realize a dream or accomplish an aim.

Keep your word. It feels good to be considered reliable, so honor your word no matter what the reasons are for disregarding them. Remember, a promise is a promise.

If the damage is already done and you find yourself at the tail end of an embarrassing situation, you can still avoid that feeling of shame by recovering gracefully. Don't lash out in defense or lie to cover your tracks—you'll just end up feeling worse and likely complicate a relationship that doesn't need complicating.

Try laughing it off or explaining why you made the mistake. Also, don't leave a social situation simply to avoid the people you made a mishap in front of—avoidance will leave you feeling further ashamed and isolated.

Here's a very important point to remember:
People tend to forget others' mistakes and obsess over their own.

Some Things Can Be Fixed - Others Must Heal

peter@thewealthyattitude.com

As a consequence of a bunch of stuff I read, and chatted about yesterday, my original plan for this bridge week between January and February has been altered.

It has long been my position that one of the most important "attitudes" that inhabits a wealthy mind, is the attitude of "forgiveness". Resentments, anger, jealousy, hate, envy,....oh, I could go on, but you get my point, are the poison pills that we willingly consume while thinking we are getting back at someone else.

A very long time ago I discovered that "forgiveness is giving all hope for a better yesterday". It is my contention that the "wealthiest" attitude of all, is the one of "forgiveness" and once we have reconciled that, every other one becomes easy.

This week we are going to share much more on this most important subject, and to get us in the mindset, our friend Thom suggests a practice that I believe is worthy of your consideration.

I would lovingly suggest that everything, this week especially, is worth sharing with others. So I encourage you to send along the "reader", or the link to the blog, to those good people on your own lists.

Some Things Can Be Fixed - Others Must Heal
by Thom Rutledge

Are you a fixer? When someone tells you a problem they are having, do you immediately feel the need to offer advice? Is it difficult for you to just listen to someone who is in distress, to just be there for them without knowing precisely what to say or do? Are you uncomfortable with anything being in limbo? Are you addicted to certainties? Does your self-esteem depend on your ability to make things right for other people? If you're answering yes to some of these questions, you are probably a fixer.

Did you just now experience an impulse to "fix" the fact that you may be a fixer? If so, you are definitely a fixer.

I find it helpful when faced with a problem or a discomfort or a pain to ask this question:

Does this need to be fixed or healed?

Think about it. The two options are very different. When a pipe burst below my kitchen sink, I don't wrap a bandage around it and wait for it to heal. Similarly, when I cut my hand slicing tomatoes I don't imagine that I can simply "fix" the cut.

Certainly when something needs to heal, we still attend to it. I can apply pressure and bandage my cut. Or if I have the flu, I can go home, lie on the couch drinking juice and chicken soup. But I know that as much as I might try to convince myself otherwise, I cannot simply fix myself so that I don't have the flu anymore.

Consider relationship problems: do they need to be fixed or healed? In this context the question is more difficult because both are often called for. If I have been dishonest with you causing damage to your ability to trust me, then I need to fix my behavior and allow there to be time for the relationship to heal. I suppose this is analogous to a broken bone needing to be set so that it can heal properly.

When something needs to be fixed, it calls for us to be proactive in identifying what needs to be done and then doing it. When something needs to heal, our job is to protect the space around the wound or injury, allowing in only what will contribute to the process of healing.

"Does this need to be fixed or healed?" is just one of those good questions to keep around. Sometimes the answers will be obvious, and other times the question may just get us thinking in a different direction. Certainly using the question will save somevaluable energy when we can stop trying to fix what can only be healed, and stop waiting around for what needs fixing to heal.

Write the question down on an index card and put it in your pocket, your wallet, or your purse. Carry the question everywhere you go for the next week or so --- test drive it.

See if it makes a difference.

Are You Happy To Lead A Mediocre Life Just Because Others Do?

By: TheArcher

When we read historical novels, we may laugh at the pointless lives that the gentry of that period led. The well to do who lived centuries ago spent their lives in idle pursuits totally oblivious (in most cases) to the wretchedness of the poor who spent all their waking hours working in return for meager sustenance. And they were so overly concerned with living their lives according to regimented protocol; it just wasn’t "the done thing" to do things differently than the way the neighbors did things. The lives of the poor were just as pointless because they failed to realize that they could improve themselves if only they tried. The few who did succeed in breaking free of poverty were generally ostracized by their families because they dared to do things differently.

But are we any different today? Have we really learnt anything at all? The activities of the 21st century are vastly different from those of previous times but many are just as pointless. And today, in this current advanced era, people on the whole are still far too concerned with what their family, friends and neighbors think. Very few people are willing to change.

Is your life perfect? If it is then there is no need to change anything. But I have never yet met anyone with a perfect life, have you? Some people have a career they love but their family life suffers. Some people have very good relationships with their families and friends but their health and fitness are not very good. And some people have a totally stuffed up life in nearly all areas. Even if we have some things right, there are always areas in which we can improve ourselves, we shouldn't just get to a certain age and stop. Life is all about learning; it isn’t something reserved for the young.

People will say, "Oh I couldn’t do it that way because everyone I know does it this way!" But are all those people you know getting perfect results! Very unlikely! So why keep doing things a certain way, with mediocre results, just because everyone else does it that way? Isn't it time to make a change and do things your own way? Maybe, just maybe, you will see vast improvements in your life. And if you stuff up or don't get it quite right the first time, don't give up. Just keep on trying things out until you find what really works for you. Don’t be bothered by those who try to deter you. Your true friends will support you and the opinion of the rest of them doesn't matter!

One thing to remember - if others object to what you are doing or becoming, it is because it is a reflection of something in their own lives that they need to deal with. When they see you becoming successful in some area of your life, they feel unsettled because they know that they should be trying to make improvements in their lives too and you are reminding them of that deficiency in themselves! So it is never about you, it is about them. The sad fact is that most people are quite prepared to plod along living a mediocre existence. They really cannot see that there are better possibilities for them if only they make an effort.

But you can see the possibilities, so go and live your dreams!