Small Pleasures!

A note for this Holiday Weekend.

I know, I know, I said I'd take some time away this weekend, but it doesn't always work out that way. Today is no exception.

Last night we were up at Predator Ridge Golf Community where they set up a 60 foot inflatable screen to watch a movie under the stars. About 1000 people sat on the hill overlooking the driving range to enjoy "How To Tame Your Dragon".

I was awed with the incredible amount of life metaphors that lovingly integrated into the story in the delightful family movie. If you get an opportunity it's worth taking in.

It set me to thinking this morning about some of the things I may not be paying attention to, and boy was there a list. So my friends, here a short video to help us reflect on the "Small Pleasures". Take a moment at the end to just close your eyes and.....you'll know why!

Keep enjoying the weekend.

How Can We Create More Heroes?

Good day and welcome to the end of the week, and the start of the holiday weekend.

My sincere thanks to all who gave such terrific feedback to the subjects we've shared this week. I'm convinced more and more of the enormous value you each bring to the world. This is certainly a better place for your presence in it.

As is our way, we end the week with a short video. This one is particularly dear to me as it highlights what I believe lives in each of us.

It's starts with a serious question. Can modern science help us to create heroes?

That's the lofty question behind Philip Zimbardo's Heroic Imagination Project, started by a Stanford professor who has spent 50 years teaching and studying psychology. The goal of the project is simple: to put decades of experimental research to use in training the next generation of exemplary Americans, churning out good guys with the same efficiency that gangs and terrorist groups produce bad guys. In this video, he inaugurates the project.

Have a wonder-full holiday weekend.

See you on Tuesday.

I appreciate you all.

~peter~

The Four Emotions That Can Lead To Life Change

By the late Full Spectrum Leader, Jim Rohn

Emotions are the most powerful forces inside us. Under the power of emotions, human beings can perform the most heroic (as well as barbaric) acts. To a great degree, civilization itself can be defined as the intelligent channeling of human emotion. Emotions are fuel and the mind is the pilot, which together propel the ship of civilized progress.

Which emotions cause people to act? There are four basic ones. Each, or a combination of several, can trigger the most incredible activity. The day that you allow these emotions to fuel your desire is the day you'll turn your life around.

1) DISGUST

One does not usually equate the word "disgust" with positive action. And yet properly channeled, disgust can change a person's life. The person who feels disgusted has reached a point of no return. He or she is ready to throw down the gauntlet at life and say, "I've had it!" That's what I said after many humiliating experiences at age 25. I said, "I don't want to live like this anymore. I've had it with being broke. I've had it with being embarrassed, and I've had it with lying."

Yes, productive feelings of disgust come when a person says, "Enough is enough."

The "guy" has finally had it with mediocrity. He's had it with those awful sick feelings of fear, pain and humiliation. He then decides he is not going to live like this anymore. Look out! This could be the day that turns a life around. Call it what you will, the "I've had it" day, the "never again" day, the "enough is enough" day. Whatever you call it, it's powerful! There is nothing so life-changing as gut-wrenching disgust!

2) DECISION

Most of us need to be pushed to the wall to make decisions. And once we reach this point, we have to deal with the conflicting emotions that come with making them. We have reached a fork in the road. Now this fork can be a two- prong, three-prong, or even a four-prong fork. No wonder that decision-making can create knots in stomachs, keep us awake in the middle of the night, or make us break out in a cold sweat.

Making life-changing decisions can be likened to internal civil war. Conflicting armies of emotions, each with its own arsenal of reasons, battle each other for supremacy of our minds. And our resulting decisions, whether bold or timid, well thought out or impulsive, can either set the course of action or blind it. I don't have much advice to give you about decision-making except this:

Whatever you do, don't camp at the fork in the road. Decide. It's far better to make a wrong decision than to not make one at all. Each of us must confront our emotional turmoil and sort out our feelings.

3) DESIRE

How does one gain desire? I don't think I can answer this directly because there are many ways. But I do know two things about desire:

a. It comes from the inside not the outside.

b. It can be triggered by outside forces.

Almost anything can trigger desire. It's a matter of timing as much as preparation. It might be a song that tugs at the heart. It might be a memorable sermon. It might be a movie, a conversation with a friend, a confrontation with the enemy, or a bitter experience. Even a book or an article such as this one can trigger the inner mechanism that will make some people say, "I want it now!"

Therefore, while searching for your "hot button" of pure, raw desire, welcome into your life each positive experience. Don't erect a wall to protect you from experiencing life. The same wall that keeps out your disappointment also keeps out the sunlight of enriching experiences. So let life touch you. The next touch could be the one that turns your life around.

4) RESOLVE

Resolve says, "I will." These two words are among the most potent in the English language. I WILL. Benjamin Disraeli, the great British statesman, once said, "Nothing can resist a human will that will stake even its existence on the extent of its purpose." In other words, when someone resolves to "do or die," nothing can stop him.

The mountain climber says, "I will climb the mountain. They've told me it's too high, it's too far, it's too steep, it's too rocky, it's too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You'll soon see me waving from the top or you'll never see me, because unless I reach the peak, I'm not coming back." Who can argue with such resolve?

When confronted with such iron-will determination, I can see Time, Fate and Circumstance calling a hasty conference and deciding, "We might as well let him have his dream. He's said he's going to get there or die trying."

The best definition for "resolve" I've ever heard came from a schoolgirl in Foster City, California. I was lecturing about success to a group of bright kids at a junior high school. I asked, "Who can tell me what "resolve" means?" Several hands went up, and I did get some pretty good definitions. But the last was the best. A shy girl from the back of the room got up and said with quiet intensity, "I think resolve means promising yourself you will never give up." That's it! That's the best definition I've ever heard: PROMISE YOURSELF YOU'LL NEVER GIVE UP.

Think about it! How long should a baby try to learn how to walk? How long would you give the average baby before you say, "That's it, you've had your chance"? You say that's crazy? Of course it is. Any mother would say, "My baby is going to keep trying until he learns how to walk!" No wonder everyone walks.

There is a vital lesson in this.

Ask yourself, "How long am I going to work to make my dreams come true?"

I suggest you answer, "As long as it takes."

That's what these four emotions are all about.


Jim Rohn focused on the fundamentals of human behavior that most affect personal and business performance. His is the standard to which those who seek to teach and inspire others are compared. He possessed the unique ability to bring extraordinary insights to ordinary principles and events, and the combination of his substance and style captures the imagination of those who hear or read his words.

To subscribe to the Free Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine go to JimRohn.com

Do you want to be right – or be happy?

By Hilda Carroll

Sometimes life really sucks. And other times it's just not too great, or could be better. But that is absolutely no reason to despair. Really! Whether or not you are in a place right now where you can accept this, the truth is that there's always an opportunity in every challenging experience to learn and grow. And it's always in our best interests to actively seek that lesson. What a waste to go through a rough patch and take nothing out of it that will help carry you onwards and upwards in the present and future.

And how do we do seek that lesson? By asking ourselves "what is this here to teach me?" And by asking more than once. Because the more you ask yourself, the deeper your enquiry goes, and the more you learn. The answers may not come to you straight away, in fact they probably won't. And there could be many layers of lessons for you that come through bit by bit. But the more open you are to learning them, the quicker they will come.

Your answers may come to you through something you read, something someone says to you (maybe even a throw away comment), or the lyrics of a song that is divinely played in your earshot. There will be all sorts of magical coincidences and you'll come across stuff that will resonate deeply with you and stop you in your tracks. We call them light-bulb moments, and if we pay attention to them they can radically alter our path in life.

Life keeps throwing us the same lessons, over and over in different guises, until we finally get them. Do you find yourself wondering on a regular basis why you keep finding yourself with a difficult boss, an abusive partner or selfish friends? If there's a pattern of similar circumstances occurring in your life, look for the common denominator. Please don't be offended by this, as I say it non- judgmentally, but it really is likely to be you. If you can accept this, then all you need to do is ask what do you need to learn about yourself - not other people - to put an end to the cycle.

This is not to pick up a stick to beat yourself with. It is just about increasing your self awareness, so that you can approach life differently going forwards. You and I are a work in progress, and it is never done.

All through our lives we are meant to be learning and growing. And we learn the most from our challenging experiences. During those times, be prepared to accept something uncomfortable about yourself, for when you accept it (and forgive yourself) you can easily move past it. But what you resist persists. If you deny something about yourself, self-righteously insisting the problem lies with others, you are not done with it.

If you allow yourself to be really open to what the true reason is for this difficult experience, you will ultimately discover some kind of fear at the root of it. Once you identify your fear, you can start to let go of it. If you aren't aware of it, you'll continue to carry it around subconsciously. That is an energy you are putting out into the Universe and it will attract more experiences into your life that match that energy.

So, when you catch yourself woefully asking why this is happening to you, stop and change that inquiry into a genuinely curious one. And then start to pay attention to what your intuition is trying to tell you. Pay attention to each and every coincidence you notice. This is how you cross the bridge between knowing a thing intellectually and really, truly getting it. And that "penny dropping" experience is the kind of moment that influences an effortless change in your outlook and behavior, and as a consequence your coping mechanism strengthens.

But even better than that, because you've now got the lesson, the Universe no longer needs to send it to you in different disguises. You become free of it. Free to move on and learn and grow and stretch some more.

The Magic Power of Taking Responsibility.

Shared by David Riklan

Experience has taught me that the first step to consciously making any change in your life is to first "take responsibility" for your life or at least take responsibility for that part of it.

Dr. Phil wrote a book called Life Strategies in which he talks about taking responsibility. On his TV show and in his book, he says, "You create your own experience. Acknowledge and accept responsibility for your life."

Almost all of the experts talk about taking responsibility. They say to STOP BLAMING other people, but I have a slightly different view.

WHO IS REALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE?

I asked myself, "Am I truly, completely responsible for where I am today?" Think about it. We were raised by our parents, and taught by our teachers, friends, and the media. I personally watched about 500 hours of Friends, Seinfeld, American Idol, and most recently, House and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Didn't these things influence me?

In truth, I believe that all of these things have had a tremendous impact on where we are today.

But when I think about taking responsibility, the question for me is NOT "Who is responsible for your current situation?"

BUT................

WHO WILL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for where you'll be TOMORROW?"

The answer for each of us has to be, "I will." Can we really give up this responsibility? Does anybody else want it? I don't think so.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING

I want to share with you a quote that brings home this point for me.

It's from Denis Waitley, the author of The Psychology of Winning. He said, "There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."

Personally, I went with the second option. I took responsibility for changing my conditions.

AN EXERCISE FOR CHANGE

One of the exercises that I use and I recommend everybody use is starting with a list. Take a few minutes and think about the areas of your life that you are willing to take more responsibility for. They should be areas that you are serious about.

They could be in your career, family, personal life, social life, fitness, health or intellectual pursuits. Areas could include your spiritual life, leisure time, community involvement or a financial area...just about anything.

What areas do you want to take more responsibility for? Give yourself a few minutes to think about the key areas that you want to take more responsibility for. What are those key areas?

Now write them down and read them.
(***HINT: That's where the magic power comes from. If you write it and read it, you can own it and take responsibility for it.)

Most psychologists will tell you that your behavior is impacted by three factors: genetics, environment, and free will. We don't have a lot of control over our genetics, at least not yet, and we can't always control our environment, so all that's left is free will.

This free will enables us to take responsibility for our lives.

I think that most of us know that they're supposed to take responsibility, but it's not always easy.

I know that it's easy to blame your background, your boss, your schooling, politicians, your wife, your husband or your mother, but until we accept responsibility, we're not going to make progress.

So here we are. We all know we're supposed to do it, but most of us aren't doing it in every area of our life.

So, where do we go? Back to experts. After reviewing material from countless experts, I came up with a few specific suggestions to help everybody in that area.

THE POWER OF MODELING

I am a strong believer in the concept of modeling. By modeling, I mean finding other people who are doing something well and copying or modeling their behavior. So, I would recommend that you look around at the people that you know or "know of," find the most responsible person you know, and ask for help or model their behavior. Find out what they're doing.

Who are the most responsible people that you know? Why are they so responsible?

Now write them down and read them.

(***REMINDER: That's where the magic power comes from. If you write it and read it, you can own it and take responsibility for it.)

THE POWER OF TAKING ON SMALL PROJECTS

Another idea is to take on small projects and see them through to completion. Take ownership of small projects first and then build on it. Then, slowly increase the amount of responsibility you take on. The more we prove to ourselves that we can take on responsibility, the better we get at it.

We need to start accepting 100% responsibility for what happens in our life and know that we have the power to take control of many aspects of our life.

THE POWER OF AWARENESS

We need to make an extra effort to be aware when we are blaming others. This awareness alone will enable us to take greater responsibility. You might even want to go as far as to note every time that you blame somebody else and write it down or at least make a mental note.

Who are you blaming and what are you blaming them for?

Now write them down and read them.

(*** REMINDER: That's where the magic power comes from. If you write it and read it, you can own it and take responsibility for it.)

To sum it up, start by identifying the areas where you want to take responsibility.

Model yourself after other people who are taking responsibility for their lives.

Take on small projects, build on them, and finally maintain awareness.

All of these things will help us move closer to taking personal responsibility.

When David Riklan started building SelfGrowth.com over 10 years ago, he had a simple mission: to provide quality information about great resources for people to improve their lives.

His philosophy was simple. There is no “one secret” to success. What works for one person may not particularly work for the next. With that philosophy in mind, he built the # 1 self improvement website on the internet, published 8 books and, through his speaking and seminars, teaches countless people how to match their needs and background to the philosophy, the system, the product and the expert that will work best for them.

Visit his website at http://www.selfgrowth.com

I Do Believe In You!

Hello folks on this absolutely beautiful Friday. As is always our practice, we end the week with a short video, and this one is special to me.

You each are very important to me and yes, I do get the privilege of having to push you pretty hard to keep you focused on the goal you had in mind when you chose to work with me in the first place. Yes, I told you at the outset that during the process of our time together you would, on occasion, feel like quitting the work. It is hard work, I understand that.

However, you have a dream of a better life experience, and I declared to you that I wouldn't quit on you, if you didn't quit on you. You are without question more powerful that you can imagine.

I share with you one of my favorite short videos today. It will explain more deeply what I see in you.

Have yourself an awesome weekend.

I appreciate you.

See you on Monday.

~peter~

What if?

Posted by Debbie Friedman

Have you ever played the “What If” game with yourself? To be more accurate, has your MIND ever played that game with you?

Okay, if you’re human, and you probably are if you’re reading this, then you know how the game goes. You’re about ready to make a big step forward or try something new and all of a sudden the “What If’s” go wild.

Going on a trip outside the country? “What if there’s a war or violence breaks out.” Starting a new company? “What if you fail?” Going to make a phone call? “What if they don’t like you or they say ‘no’?”

Have you ever noticed that this game always takes you to the bottom of the elevator --- the very lowest place that you could possibly go? The elevator of this thinking doesn’t stop at the middle floors, giving you a chance to consider alternatives.

Oh, no. This game takes you straight to the bottom, creating the image and fear of the very worst that could possibly happen.

The “What if” game is based on lack and limitation thinking, what is often called poverty consciousness. Poverty consciousness is rooted in the idea that there’s not enough to go around, or if someone’s handing out all the goodies in life, you’re in the wrong line.

And, let’s be honest, sometimes the “What If” game is created by other people. Parents, who want to protect you, or people who tend to play life small are famous for this. They have a limited vision of life or want to keep you in the womb where they feel you’re safe, and in the process they project this limited vision onto others. If they can keep you small, their world is intact and they can continue to feel safe.

The biggest problem with this game is that it can stop you dead in your tracks. The fears and doubts settle in and before you know it you’re procrastinating, or worse yet find yourself in a state of paralysis where you can’t seem to do anything at all. Often, we’ll talk ourselves out of our dreams by convincing ourselves that we really didn’t want something after all, telling ourselves that it really wasn’t important.

If we do this often enough, we set a pattern for our lives that effectively kills our passions, our dreams, our inspirations as we “settle” for a life of just getting by and existing. It can leave you with the feeling that you’re just taking up space on this planet as you move through each day mindlessly without a great deal of joy.

What if you decided you don’t want to play the old game – that you’re ready for a new one? Try this one on for size.

What if this life that we’re living is one incredibly wonderful game where you are in complete control of what you experience? Think of yourself now as the master designer of your life and YOU are in charge. By the power of what you think and take action to do, you have the ability to choose your life down to every detail, limited only by your imagination. Can you see it?

What if you not only had that right but that responsibility?

What if you knew that you are guaranteed to succeed at everything you do? What if you knew that whatever you can imagine is already waiting for you – all you have to do is claim it? What if everything in the Universe was available to support you so that you can live the life of your dreams?

Here’s the truth of it: You create your life. You create EVERYTHING in your life. If you’re not creating consciously, you are creating with your subconscious mind, based on old beliefs and ideas.

Starting today, make the decision to play a new game – one that is joyful, loving, prosperous, and filled with everything that will absolutely delight and excite you!

YOU deserve it!

Debbie Friedman, M.S., C.Ht., is the Manifesting Maven who helps people consciously create the life they love to live. She is the creator of the popular Cleaning Out the Closet of Your Mind for Wealth series.

Cancel Self Wrecking Resentments!

Yesterday we talked about who was really responsible for your happiness, and a bit about what some folks had to overcome to gain a whole new sense of joy. Continuing that conversation, one of the things that all Full Spectrum Leaders must master, is overcoming resentment.

We have discovered that "resentment" truly is like a ball and chain, it drags on the individuals connected to it to a point where their entire energy is consumed by it. Not a fun place to be.

We asked Guy Finley how to:

Cancel Self Wrecking Resentments!

Two men stroll down a leaf-covered wood-lot path on a clear, brisk Autumn morning. Jeff and Mark have been friends for years. They enjoy their Saturday morning walks and talks together. Yet, something’s different about Mark today. Jeff senses there’s a problem. But he says nothing.

Two minutes later Mark stops walking and turns to Jeff. His eyes are searching for a place to begin. Then, following right behind his slowly spreading smile, these words spill out: "Jeff, are all these voices that are arguing in my head bothering you too?"

A second later, they both break out laughing. The spell Mark had been under was broken. He had been the captive of a dark inner dialogue.

What’s a dark inner dialogue? Just what it sounds like: a negative tug-of-war in the unseen recesses of your mind where you’re the only one pulling on both ends of the rope. Still more to the point: Being in a dark inner dialogue is finding yourself losing a heated argument when there’s no one else in the room with you!

What causes these dark inner dialogues? Resentment. So, here’s a key thought to help you release this self wrecking inner state: Holding on to some hurt, or hatred -- over what someone may have done to you in the past -- makes you that person’s slave in the here and Now.

If you’re tired of being a slave to a painful relationship out of your past, this study and exercise in how to release resentments is sure to bring welcome relief.

For this lesson to succeed in its intended purpose, it’s important for you to understand that resentment is a bitter pill made up of two layers. The first layer is created by our refusal to be self ruling: Saying "yes", when we really want to say "no!" is one good example. Fawning before others for fear of their reprisal is another. Both weak actions breed resentment, because our wish to falsely accommodate compromises our own weakness. And now comes another key thought.

The second layer of this type of resentment is its "active" ingredient; the psychological component that keeps it alive and not well. This is the dark inner dialogue. These unconscious conflicts, in dialogue form, play themselves out in our mind by painfully reenacting various scenes from our past; moments gone by in which we either know, or sense, we were compromised by our own weakness. And now comes another key thought.

If these inner dialogues were left to themselves as they popped into our mind, they’d be as powerless to disturb us as an echo is to change its own sound. Where we get into trouble, when resentment rules, is when we’re unknowingly drawn into these scenes out of our past and find ourselves interacting with a cast of ghost players! The ensuing mental dialogue is always a desperate, but futile, attempt to change what has already been said and done -- so that maybe this time around -- we can come out a winner.

One good example of this kind of dark inner dialogue is giving someone a heated piece of your mind, when he or she is not around to hear it! Tired of going twelve rounds in routine fight scenes that always turn out the same? Try this new exercise for the winning solution.

If you sat down on a metal bench and suddenly realized the midday sun had heated it way beyond the comfort zone, you’d stand up as quickly as you could. The same Intelligence behind this instinctive physical reaction can help you release all resentments and drop their dark inner dialogues.

Each time you can catch yourself in a dark inner dialogue of any kind, use your awareness of the conflict it's creating within you as a springboard to help you leap out of those scary scenes from your past into the safety of the Present Moment. Then, instead of giving yourself over to those inner voices of conflict that are still trying to converse with you, just remain quietly aware of yourself in the Present Moment and of their continuing beckoning presence.

No matter how many times you hear in your mind those fighting words that have always prompted you to jump into that dark dialogue, refuse to join in. Ground yourself in your awareness of the Present Moment.

The unconscious resentment responsible for creating those heated scenes from the past cannot follow you into the Now, which means no dark inner dialogue can tag along either. Why? Because when you’re no longer a captive of your own past, then you can recognize its ghost voices as the source of psychic intrusion they really are.

Remember, no dark inner dialogue can ever solve an unresolved resentment any more than one end of snake is less the serpent.

Special Summary: Learn to ask for a happy, new life, by refusing to re-live what's been tearing at you.

Now, who is really in charge of your happiness?

Posted by Chantal Beaupre

The moment you will fully realize the incredible power you have over your thoughts and emotions, not only will you be literally astounded, but you will wonder why you took so long to use it and create sustainable and lasting happiness in your life!

Whatever the nature of our problems and difficulties, there is hope for us. No matter how much we feel unhappy, discouraged, and hopeless at the present time, happiness is still within reach. Feeling better, getting better, and staying better is an achievable goal for each and everyone of us.

What is important to understand is that happiness is purely internal. It is not something that happens to us, but rather something we ourselves do and determine.

You and I relate to everything and everyone on this planet through the mechanism of thought. It is not what is in the world that determines our happiness or unhappiness; it is how we choose to process what is in the world in our thoughts.

In other words, other people and things practically never upset us. On the contrary, we are the ones who can choose or not choose to make ourselves unhappy and miserable about the various adversities that people and things may put in our lives.

Even in regard to the most unfortunate conditions and circumstances - ones that we usually describe as tragic or catastrophic - and the most adverse environment, we can usually manage to feel better and happier by not needlessly adding to our misery self-defeating thoughts and ideas that will cause us to feel unpleasant emotions such as anxiety, anger, guilt, discouragement, unworthiness, or sadness.

No one can decide what our thoughts shall be but ourselves. So if we wait for happiness to catch up with us, just happen, or be brought to us by other people and things, we are likely to have a long wait.

Granted our unhappiness have biological aspects. Granted as well our brain and body chemistry may catapult us into a state of emotional disturbance when few or no adversities are occurring in our lives. Nonetheless, the unhappiness we experience about these emotional and physical handicaps are still largely our own doing - the result of our thinking.

What a blessing that we ourselves help to create and perpetuate unhappiness in our lives, for that means that we personally can stop it in its tracks and make ourselves feel better and happier.

Is it to say that we can be happy 100% all the time? Not in a million years! No one, other than a saint, can achieve that. But we most definitely can - if we make the decision and commit to do whatever it takes to honor that decision - think self-helping thoughts and be happy a large share of the time, regardless of that multitude of conditions and circumstances of daily living that provides us with opportunities to make ourselves miserable and unhappy.

Make no mistake about it, dear friend: You can achieve increased happiness in your life - that is, if you take your personal power and use it!

Simply take my word for it: The moment you will fully realize the incredible power you have over your thoughts and emotions, not only will you be literally astounded, but you will wonder why you took so long to use it and create sustainable and lasting happiness for yourself!

Whatever it Takes!

Well good day to you, and welcome to brand spanking new week.

Over this past weekend I had the opportunity to chat with some delightful Human Resource professionals about the state of their profession. While many are happy with the current conditions, many more were clearly not.

It seems that there is a deep discussion going on about, wouldn't you know it, my favorite subject, "personal responsibility". Our discussions centered around "getting the job done", and their observations that if folks in their company's understood that it is not the enterprises responsibility for the workforces happiness, a whole new level of accomplishment could be achieved.

My offer was pretty simple, one aspect of "personal responsibility" is about fulfilling the individuals agreement with the company, and doing "Whatever it Takes" to get the job done. Result, personal pride soars.

Here's what I shared, you might find it useful this week.

“WHATEVER IT TAKES”

I am committed to doing whatever it takes, the dye has been cast and I have stepped over the line. I’m out of the comfort zone, the decision has been made, I won’t look back, let up, slow down, or back away. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, team visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving and dwarfed goals. And I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy and ponder at the pool of popularity, or wander in the maze of the mediocre. I have committed to doing…

“WHATEVER IT TAKES”

Signed………………………………………….. Date…………………..........

GraFEETi.

Hello there and welcome to the typical weeks end. As is our practice, we wrap the week with a short video.

As one who is deeply privileged to work with some great people, I often get asked, "Peter, give me one little thing that can make a positive difference in my day. Well folks here's one for you.

It's a wonderful example of the amazing things you can do if you cultivate a warm and giving heart. Here is a woman who uses her wish to brighten others days and applies that to small acts of kindness. Amazing!

Have a wonder-full weekend.

I appreciate you.

See you on Monday.

~peter~

Bad Choices, Bad Habits!

Shared thought by Nancy Schimelpfening

Regaining Your Ability to Choose is Key to Breaking Habits

A habit is any action that we have performed so often that it becomes almost an involuntary response. If we consider this habit to be undesirable then we may label it a "bad habit". People spend countless hours and dollars each year attempting to break these bad habits and often do not have any success. Why? Because there is no magic bullet. Change is hard work and there is no short cut to achieving it. The steps a person needs to take, however, can be very simply outlined. To effect a change in habits, one needs to bring the action back into the realm of consciousness and regain the ability to make choices.

What's the Payoff?

The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet!

What's the Trade Off

Next, take a look at the trade off. What is it that you are losing by exercising your habit? This step should be easier. Just think why it is that you consider it a bad habit in the first place. Yelling at your kids is a bad habit because it leaves everybody feeling tense and tears down your children's self-esteem. You are trading a temporary release of tension for the emotional health of your children. Leaving the dishes undone is a bad habit because your kitchen is a smelly mess. To have more Internet time you are trading off having a pleasant living environment. When you look at it that way it doesn't seem like you are making very wise choices, does it? There has to be a better way.

Time to Make a Choice!

Now that you've weighed both sides of the issue--your payoff and your tradeoff--it's time to make a choice. It's no longer an involuntary act because now you know that you are making a choice every time you perform this action. You are choosing what you value more: the payoff or the tradeoff! Each time you start to do whatever the bad habit is now you have to actively choose. Which do you value more? Do you value more the relief you get by yelling at your kids or do you value their emotional well-being? Do you value more having more Internet time or having a pleasant place to live?



Substituting Better Behaviors

The whole reason you formed your habits in the first place is that they filled a need. You had tension that needed relief or you had a desire to surf the Net. As you break the old patterns you still need a way to fulfill these needs. You will be not only making an active choice to not do the old action you will also be making a choice to perform a better, alternative action in its place. Instead of yelling at your kids you might decide to go for a run every time you are feeling tense. Instead of letting dirty dishes pile up you may decide to use paper plates when you are eating alone. What the new habit is that you substitute isn't so important as whether you feel good about the choices you have made. After all, the reason you consider it a bad habit is because it leaves you feeling bad about yourself.

It's Up to You

By now you should realize that the only way to continue with a bad habit for very long is to sink back into denial of why you are doing it in the first place. Each time you begin to resume your old patterns the thought will pass through your mind that you are trading X for Y each time you perform that action. You will be forced to make a choice, whether good for bad, about continuing your habit.

What choices will you make?

The one that makes you feel bad about yourself or the one that makes you feel good?

It's up to you.

Developing Optimism!

Posted By Dr. Linda Sapadin

There are some days in which you feel anything but optimistic. So much stuff is going on that is problematic - in your personal life, in your family life, in the world. It just gets to you. You feel overwhelmed. Your mind is clouded with worry. Your soul is burdened with heaviness. And you feel there's nothing that you can do to make anything better.

You try hopelessly to quell your worries. Yet they still keep haunting you. You may feel ready to give up. But hold on. Though there may be no easy answers to resolving your issues, here are two things that you can do right now to ease your burdens.

#1. Change "I don't know" thinking to "One thing I do know is...."

The phrase "I don't know...." (i.e. I don't know why I stay in this awful relationship)" is usually tossed off casually as a way to avoid confronting a deeper, more revealing assessment of a situation. "I don't know" avoids the need to address specific, underlying fears and insecurities. Though this may initially seem like a good idea (why get into something so complex), the downside is that it makes you feel powerless. You can't find solutions for what is indecipherable.

If you want to become more optimistic, challenge yourself to be bolder and clearer. For example, you might say "One thing I do know is that I stay in this awful relationship because I'm afraid to be alone." Or, "One thing I do know about this awful relationship is that the constant fighting is draining me." Does this solve your problem? Certainly not. Does it create the possibility, that owning up to what the problem really is, might help you find a solution? Yes, it does.

#2. Make an "I can't" statement into a compound sentence: "I can't ... But one thing I can do is..."

The phrase "I can't..." (i.e. I can't quit my job now") can leave you feeling pretty hopeless. No choice. No power. No strength. You're stuck!

Instead of continuing in this powerless position, shift the focus away from what you can't do to something you can do. For example, you might say, "I can't quit my job now, but I can start exploring other career moves." Or, "I can't quit my job now, but I can go back to school to prepare myself for a more satisfying career."

How do these easy-to-make changes help you become more optimistic? Because knowing what the problem is, even if it's really serious, helps you understand what's going on, then sets you in the right direction to find a solution. Instead of amorphous smoke, you've got a defined dilemma. And once you understand what your dilemma is, you can explore options, you can develop strength, you can establish power.

---

Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her by email or visit her website at Psychwisdom.com.

Visit her newest website Six Styles of Procrastination.com which is devoted to understanding and overcoming debilitating procrastination patterns.

Napoleon Hills Major Attributes of Leadership

1. UNWAVERING COURAGE based upon knowledge of self, and of one’s occupation. No follower wishes to be dominated by a leader who lacks self-confidence and courage. No intelligent follower will be dominated by such a leader very long.

2. SELF-CONTROL: The man who cannot control himself, can never control others. Self-control sets a mighty example for one’s followers, which the more intelligent will emulate.

3. A KEEN SENSE OF JUSTICE: Without a sense of fairness and justice, no leader can command and retain the respect of his followers.

4. DEFINITENESS OF DECISION: The man who wavers in his decisions shows that he is not sure of himself. He cannot lead others successfully.

5. DEFINITENESS OF PLANS: The successful leader must plan his work, and work his plan. A leader who moves by guesswork, without practical, definite plans, is comparable to a ship without a rudder. Sooner or later he will land on the rocks.

6. THE HABIT OF DOING MORE THAN PAID FOR: One of the penalties of leadership is the necessity of willingness, upon the part of the leader, to do more than he requires of his followers.

7. A PLEASING PERSONALITY: No slovenly, careless person can become a successful leader. Leadership calls for respect. Followers will not respect a leader who does not grade high on all of the factors of a Pleasing Personality.

8. SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING: The successful leader must be in sympathy with his followers. Moreover, he must understand them and their problems.

9. MASTERY OF DETAIL: Successful leadership calls for mastery of details of the leader’s position.

10. WILLINGNESS TO ASSUME FULL RESPONSIBILITY: The successful leader must be willing to assume responsibility for the mistakes and the shortcomings of his followers. If he tries to shift this responsibility, he will not remain the leader. If one of his followers makes a mistake, and shows himself incompetent, the leader must consider that it is he who failed.

11. COOPERATION: The successful leader must understand, and apply the principle of cooperative effort and be able to induce his followers to do the same. Leadership calls for POWER, and power calls for COOPERATION.

Change Your Mind, Change Your Life

Posted by Stacey Lundgren

BRIGHTON, Michigan, July 8, 2011/ Troy Media

Joy, happiness, inner peace are the feelings that most of us desire and seek. Philosophers ponder it, writers write about it, speakers expound on it; but there often appears to no clear answer as to how joy should feel, how long it should last, or how to get it in the first place. It’s confusing and elusive.

In our workshops we present and in personal coaching sessions, we talk about the power of personal choice and how it effects our degree of happiness. We use this syllogism: 1) We can control our thoughts, 2) Our feelings come from our thoughts, therefore, 3) We can control our feelings.

Change your thoughts, change your life
Some years ago, I would have taken issue with the first statement in that syllogism. My negative thoughts were like a runaway horse heading for a non-existent barn, galloping to . . . where? There was sometimes no end to the worry, and the worry lead to no useful conclusion. Now I draw the analogy that my thought process was like giving birth to a baby that never arrives—insuperable pain, futile contractions, tears, groans of fatigue. All that agony, but no baby. What is the payoff for this self-inflicted process, anyway?

Dr. Wayne Dyer said “Change your thoughts, change your life”. He said a mouthful. If we change our thoughts, we change our feelings. In other words, if we don’t think anger, we don’t feel anger. If we don’t think sadness, we don’t feel sadness. For instance, ‘that darn former husband of mine, if only he hadn’t’ . . . blah, blah, or ‘why are all drivers such idiots?’ Soon our stomachs are in knots, our faces flush, we get depressed. It’s not a theory, a belief, or an opinion that our feelings come from our thoughts; it is true.

So how can we stop poisoning our feelings by thinking negative thoughts?

It’s simple: be aware of what you are thinking. A question my 92-year-old father, a frequent and popular public speaker asks is “Do you have mental halitosis? How about brain b.o.? Stinkin’ thinkin’?” People laugh, but those phrases are unquestionably right on when we are steeped in negative thoughts. Our brains are powerful, creative tools, yet we often trust them to “auto pilot”. What are you thinking about as you drive, as you sit on an airplane, as you wash the dishes? Do you slip into rehearsing frustrations, disappointments, and judgments? Thoughts are things; they carry energy; they are potent enough to change the course of our days or even our entire lives.

Several years ago I bought a blood pressure monitor. Although the purchase was for my father, I wound up conducting experiments with my own blood pressure. Sitting at my desk first thing in the morning, I took my blood pressure and made a note of it. Then I purposely focused on some challenge in my life; this usually involved a serious concern about one of my five children. I pictured the scenario in my mind, rehearsed the possible negative outcomes, and without much effort at all, I was worrying. I felt frustrated, frightened and angry. Then I took my blood pressure again. The increase in both the systolic and diastolic measurements was significant!



The power of thought
Then I concentrated on clearing my mind by doing slow, deep breathing for about one minute. My mind’s focus turned to gratitude by thinking of a life situation for which I felt thankful. I pictured the situation in my mind and allowed myself to feel the happiness that arose from acknowledging its positivity. Often I found myself smiling. At that point, I took my blood pressure again. What a difference! My blood pressure was down, usually below what it was when I took it first thing in the morning.

This self-devised experiment is not particularly scientific, but it is a great way to validate the power of our thoughts. So if you’re not happy with your life lately, ask yourself “What have I been thinking about?” Be conscious at all times of your thoughts. If they are negative, change them. Focus on what is good in your life. No matter how miserable our current life circumstance, that circumstance is always temporary. If we give it as little of our energy as possible, meaning if we think about it as little as possible, we disarm its power; if we stop thinking negatively, we stop feeling negative emotions. It’s simple really. Simple. but perhaps not easy. Dropping the habit of mental griping is a change that takes time – it did for me. But it’s worth it, and change is always a choice.

Stacey A. Lundgren is a professional speaker and coach, presenter of character education programs in schools, author of the acclaimed book on kindness True Bucketfilling Stories: Legacies of Love. Visit her website at www.staceylundgren.com and follow her on Twitter @StaceyALundgren

Music and Life!

Happy Friday to you.

As is our practice, we conclude the week with a video offering. This short, but very delightful, video is a reminder to each of us of what is important as we participate in this journey of our life.

Philosopher Alan Watts reflects that "in music, one does not make the end of the composition, the point of the composition." This lively and comical animation compares our journey through life with music, and comes to a very thought-provoking conclusion.

It's a great message to take into this summer weekend.

Have a bunch of fun.

I appreciate you all.

See you on Monday.

~peter~

Your Second Act!

Your life thus far I am going to refer to as your "first act". The curtain is closing and now is the time. Now is the time for you to decide what you want and to start your "second act".

I read a very good book titled "Second Acts" written by Stephen Pollan and Mark Levine. This book talks about your ability to create the life you really want, to build the career you truly desire.

I just thought of a quote I often refer to. It goes something like this. "Only a fool would continue to do the same thing and expect different results." I'm not sure that is the exact wording.. but hopefully you get the message.

If you're not happy with your life to date...your "first act"...then you need to change something if you want to get a different result in your "second act".

You can live the life you've always dreamed of no matter what your age, location, or stage of life. Wow. That is huge and you must understand and believe in that statement. Your life to date is nothing more than a physical reflection of your previous thoughts. Change the thoughts...change the picture...change the results.

Your second act is waiting for you. It is. I bet at times each and every one of you hears the "quiet whisper" urging you to try something new...urging you to go for it...urging you to give it a try.

You see...you have the ability to literally reinvent yourself! You have the ability to express all the hopes and dreams that you may have either forgotten about or chosen (consciously or subconsciously) to store away. You...yes...You, have the ability to make it happen.

So what are you waiting for? I know. The timing just isn't right. You really don't have the time right now. Your bank account is a little low right now. Your back is acting up again. I could go on forever. So what are you waiting for? No one is going to do it for you. YOU have the power to start right now ...to start the process of making it happen. It starts with your decision to do it!

If your life is boring, start your second act and feel the optimism that comes with it. If you life is a dull routine, start your second act and begin to enjoy each and every moment you have. If you life is lonely, start your second act and get closer to others, any you may wish to. If your life is "non-spiritual"...start today with your second act and become closer to your maker.

So what is your dream? What will your "second act" consist of. For some of you this may be an easy answer. For others, it may be a most challenging exercise. Do you want to change careers? Maybe you want to write a book. Could it be possible for you to find true love this time around?

All of this and much more is possible in your second act. Go ahead. Give yourself permission to dream...and to go for that dream.

As John Updike quoted, "Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them."

If you can dream it you can conceive it!

So go ahead and open up the door to your second act. Your first act is over. It is neither good nor bad...it just is. Your second act, however will be great!

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."
SENECA

Go for it! Make this famous "second act" inspire you.

Predictions By Great Leaders In Their Fields!

The next time someone tells you that you “can’t” do something…read and think about these!

“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” - Ken Olson, president, chairman, founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977…(Ha…Ha…Ha!)

”Man will never reach the moon, regardless of all future scientific advances.” - Dr. Lee DeForest, Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television.

“The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.” - Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project Manhattan

“There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom.” - Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

“Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.” - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers .” - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

“I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year.” - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

“But what is it good for?” (commenting on the microchip). - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968

“640K ought to be enough for anybody.” - Bill Gates, 1981

“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us,” -Western Union internal memo, 1876

“The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?” in response to urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s. ” - David Sarnoff’ Associates

“The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible,” - A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. Smith went on to found Federal Express.

“I’m just glad it will be Clark Gable who falls on his face, not Gary Cooper,” - Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in Gone With The Wind.

“A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,” - Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of starting Mrs. Fields’ Cookies

“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

“Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible,” - Lord Kelvin, president Royal Society, 1895

“If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M “Post-It” Notepads.

“Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy,” - Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil, 1859

“Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929

“Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value,” - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France

“Everything that can be invented has been invented.” - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899

“The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required.” - Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University

“I don’t know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn’t be a feasible business by itself. ” - the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox

“Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.” - Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

“The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon.” - Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873

And last, but not least!…one more time: “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” - Ken Olson, president, chairman, founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

HA…HA…HA!!... _____________________________________________

Two True Stories of Integrity & Courage

STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him. Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education.

Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great.

So, he testified. Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he would ever pay.

Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine. The poem read:

The clock of life is wound but once,
and no man has the power
to tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.
Now is the only time you own.
Live, love, toil with a will.
Place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still.

STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank.
He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger.

There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet. Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly. Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet.

He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29.

His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man. So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.

Celebrate Being You!

Good day to you all in these days of celebration. On Friday our Canadian friends celebrated Canada Day, and today our American chums get to celebrate Independence Day, the 4th of July.

These celebrations got me to thinking about the many ways we can choose to celebrate be the person we uniquely are. So in honor of these days, here are some way you can:

CELEBRATE BEING YOU!

Create a positive self image

Surround yourself with people who allow you to grow

Do the work you love and love the work you do

Be your own best friend

Banish “should” and substitute “will”

No regrets – only learnings

Take care of yourself first and foremost

“What if….” – the two most powerful words in the English language

Give away or throw away clothes you don’t wear

Drop the ego

Don’t keep things for best – use them today.

Enjoy spending time with yourself

Learn to meditate

Walk tall

Create a collage of the life you want to live

Do something creative

Live in the moment

Keep nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful

Live passionately

Be authentic

Move your body

Live where you want to live

Create a sanctuary

Surround yourself with artifacts and things that have meaning

Say what you mean and mean what you way

Play and risk looking silly

Eat well; sleep well

Believe the best is yet to be

Cook a beautiful meal

Appreciate yourself

Learn to create mind-maps to solve problems

Experience life

Enjoy sunrises and sunsets

Make something beautiful

Enjoy your relationships

Be in nature

Remember to breathe

Do work that is an expression of who you are

Imagine and dream of what you really want

Learn to say no without feeling guilty

Trust your intuition

Enjoy a bubble bath

Celebrate your uniqueness

Follow Your Bliss