Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Power of Commitment

Note for Friday Feb 29th 2008 from: peter@thewealthyattitude.com

Welcome to the end of the second month of 2008.

I have to say that yesterday’s “kick butt” note, dare I say, “hit the mark.

Here we are now a full 1/6 of the year past, and time to once again ask "the questions".

1. Are you on track with your goals and intentions for the year?
2. If not, why not?
3. If yes, how are you going to celebrate?
4. If not, what are you going to do about it?

One of the questions that comes up in this conversation is, “We’re you committed to the plan”?

Commitment is a huge issue, and one that continues to trip folks up in the striving for a better life. Most folks say they want it, they pray for it, they beg for it, they wish for it, they gamble for it, but frankly, they are simply just not committed to it.

Our old buddy Michael Clouse, gives us something to help get us on track, and it's something to really give some time to over this coming weekend.

The Power of Commitment
by Michael S. Clouse


At some point in the past we've all done it... And if we're not careful, at some point in the future we might do it again... We've given our word, "I'll be there." We've made a promise, "You can count on me." We've committed to doing something—make 10 calls, bring two guests, or achieve that promotion—and yet we didn't follow through.

And we (or at least I) always had a good explanation... "The time just got away from me." "No one wanted to come." "It was harder than I thought." But somewhere deep down inside we had to wonder if those reasons really were our reality. True, we didn't make the calls, bring those guests, or achieve the promotion when we told ourselves we would. But why did we commit to something and then not complete the pre-agreed upon task, assignment, or goal?

Was our failure to succeed really due to a lack of time, some unlearned skill, or a much deeper self-esteem issue? Well, we could probably get a great conversation going as to why so many people have such a difficult time keeping their commitments. However, I would prefer to offer a simpler solution—a step-by-step approach that will, in effect, allow you to set, keep, and ultimately achieve any worthwhile goal you desire...

Now just to make sure we're all on the same page, allow me to share with you the definition of commitment I learned from one of my mentors, Jeff Olson, in 1995—nineteen words that still echo inside my head to this day: "Commitment is doing the thing you said you'd do, long after the feeling you said it in has passed." Now that's what keeping your word is all about!

So if "committing to...and then following through" is what you'd like to do more often, the following five step plan will help you set your goals and keep your promises, thereby allowing you to ultimately achieve what's truly important to you...

1) Decide What You Want
Achievers realize some people join the business because they want to drive a new car; some because they want to earn more money; and some because they want the extra time needed to enjoy a more rewarding life. What about you? To stay the course you'll need to be moving towards something you actually want! After all, part of your journey is discovering your real why...


2) Know Your "Why?"
True, deciding what you want is your first step, and yet it's only part of the solution! Therefore, if you really want to set, keep, and ultimately achieve every worthwhile goal, you'll need to become clear on why you want what you want. The best part is you'll know when you've found your "Why" because from that moment on you will do whatever it takes!

3) Follow A Proven Plan
You either have a proven plan (system or daily method of operation) you follow, or you don't. If you do, continue moving forward. If you don't, find someone who has already achieved what you want. Find out what they did. Do that. And then continue until you achieve the same result they've already proven was possible. Because it's easier to keep going when you get results—and it's easier to get results when you follow a proven plan.

4) Commit Yourself Publicly
After you've decided what you want, discovered why that is important to you, and are diligently following a proven plan to achieve it, you're ready for step four: public commitment! Decide in writing that you will be here, still actively involved, a year from now! On 3" x 5" cards write out what you want (your goal), followed by a sentence or two explaining your desire to have this (your "Why?”), and then include the steps you're taking (your proven plan) to accomplish it... Give these hand-written cards to 10 people you know, like, and trust, and would not want to disappoint. Believe me, if you'll do this, you will follow through.

5) Get Better Every Day
Leaders understand that wherever they are, and wherever they're going, the journey will be easier if they incorporate a daily personal development program. So what should yours include? Books, CDs, and classes. Because when you get better "it" gets easier...

Use this information—all five steps—to guide you and you will be well on your way to keeping your word and achieving all your dreams. And that's the real power of commitment!

All the best,

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Success Begins After You Fall

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com

Welcome to this amazing Thursday.

Today is “kick butt” day!

As we close in on the end of the second month of the new year, that means it is 1/6th over, I’m stunned by the number of folks who have already given up on their goals for the year. What the heck is going on?

I know the economy is heading to the toilet, I know the housing market has crapped out, I know that there is a recession on the horizon, and I also know: SO WHAT? What the heck does that have to do with you?

If you are reading this note, you are a part of a “thinking” movement. You know what thought process leads to success, you know that your thoughts are real things, and more importantly, you know that what you think about, you bring about.

You also know that I care deeply about you and your future. It is up to you to set the example for others to follow. You are the leader. Now LEAD! Take the ACTIONS!

So what if you are not fully 1/6th of the way towards your 2008 goals. You have the power to pull together forces that most people could not even imagine. Get it together right now, declare your leadership of you, and get to taking the actions that support your dreams.

Today’s offering will assist.

Success Begins After You Fall
by Mike Brescia

"Everyone has his superstitions. One of mine has always been when I started to go anywhere, or to do anything, never to turn back or to stop until the thing intended was accomplished."
-Ulysses Grant, 18th President of the United States

Today's your day.

I'm convinced of it. It's your day. And today you're going to get up all your courage and just do what you've been aching to do.

Just before you begin taking the first actions in attacking your challenge, you might be shaking like a leaf. I don't know.

But it's at that moment, when you're feeling the most frightened that you'll be making your biggest strides. Because today, you're not going to back down. You're going to take a deep breath and go forward.

Are you guaranteed success? Will you reach your goal for sure? Will you absolutely get the outcome you're hoping for?

Not a chance...

But you'll prove to yourself and everyone that thinks that sometimes you're a dead person who just hasn't been buried yet, that you're alive and starting to kick.

People who know me well can tell you that I have failed at more things than I have succeeded at. But every time I get thrown for a loop, I immediately jump up. I ask myself what I should learn from it. And if I have to, I start completely over.

So many years after my "awakening," I'm still growing as fast as I ever have.

I remember my football coaches yelling at me after getting knocked down to "Get up! The play's not over yet!"

It's true...

In your own life, when you make a mistake or get laughed at, if your immediate response is to put your head down and start crying, you won't be able to see the next opportunity that's passing right in front of you, riding in the wake of your agony.

Get up!

I'm your coach now. Don't you dare give up. Not while I'm breathing will you ever again put your tail between your legs and turn away from what might be your greatest accomplishments. I won't accept that from you.

Not from you. You're too good.

Is that an odd way to describe your failure and humiliation?

Well, whenever you've succeeded at getting your way at just about anything, it's rarely been on the first try. Right? It's usually been after being told 'No' a few times, or screwing something up a bunch of times before finally getting it right.

Well, isn't that true?

Take that template for success and place it over everything you want to do.

Everything.

When you think about some goal that seems quite a stretch for you, and the thought comes in that says, "I couldn't do that," stop and place your previous success template over it. Know that no matter how big it is, if you just "remember" that, while it might be difficult, you CAN do
it. And you're already half way there.

Do this all day today. "I can do it" needs to be your mantra.

If you do, I promise you that your muscles will be stretched. Your mind will be stretched. And those goals that "looked" impossible will suddenly seem do-able.

It'll be like you've been given a new pair of eyes.

Don't just sit there...

Get up. Today's not over.

It's your day. Tomorrow may never come. Today is your whole life. Do what you fear today. You may never have another chance. Take your shot.

Oh heck. Take 20 shots.

And take them all today.

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Celebrate Being You!

peter@thewealthyattitude.com

Welcome to the midweek point.

The inclusion yesterday of Rev. Michael Beckwith’s short video piece certainly hit the spot with a whole bunch of folks. I just adore how the message of The Law of Attraction fits just about everything that comes up in the personal growth process.

I’ve been asked a number of times in individual e-mails to re-send out the “fridge” piece on “Celebrating Being You”. It is proving to be extremely popular as folks are including a copy of it in “snail” mails, and it gifts, as well as forwarding it on to deserving (and sometimes needful) recipients.

So to celebrate the principals that Michael Beckwith presented yesterday, I’ve attached “Celebrate Being You” to get taped up on your fridge.


Celebrate Being You!

Create a positive self image
Surround yourself with people who allow you to grow
Do the work you love and love the work you do

Be your own best friend
Banish "should" and substitute "will"
No regrets – only learnings
Take care of yourself first and foremost
"What if…." – the two most powerful words in the English language
Give away or throw away clothes you don’t wear
Drop the ego
Don’t keep things for best – use them today.
Enjoy spending time with yourself
Learn to meditate
Walk tall
Create a collage of the life you want to live
Do something creative
Live in the moment
Keep nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful
Live passionately
Be authentic
Move your body
Live where you want to live
Create a sanctuary
Surround yourself with artifacts and things that have meaning
Say what you mean and mean what you way
Play and risk looking silly
Eat well; sleep well
Believe the best is yet to be
Cook a beautiful meal
Appreciate yourself
Learn to create mind-maps to solve problems
Experience life
Enjoy sunrises and sunsets
Make something beautiful
Enjoy your relationships
Be in nature
Remember to breathe
Do work that is an expression of who you are
Imagine and dream of what you really want
Learn to say no without feeling guilty
Trust your intuition
Enjoy a bubble bath
Celebrate your uniqueness
Follow Your Bliss

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Monday, February 25, 2008

How the "Law" really works!

peter@thewealthyattitude.com

I'm absolutely totally amazed that with all of the information, data, and books, that can be investigated and confirmed, that there are many folks who own computers still in doubt if "The Law of Attraction" actually works.

The folks who brought us "The Secret", just cracked the shell of the knowledge egg. This group of contributors, who could easily be called The Faculty of Life University, didn't deliver to each of us "the answer". What they did, was give us the flashlight to find "the answer" to whatever it is that controls our individual life.

Pretty amazing contribution.

Arthur Schopenhauer said "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Peter, I've been asked by many subscribers to include more "video" readers to our program, and I'm going to do just that. This subject today lends itself to one of the best explanations available.

Rev. Michael Beckwith, one of the stars of "The Secret" makes it perfectly clear in today's offering just where the responsibility truly lies. This was originally presented on CBS's Eye to Eye with Katie Couric.

Watch, and listen carefully.

Click here: How The "Law" Really Works! 5:48

Make this day "clear" for yourself, and for those around you.

Take care,

~peter~

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Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Everyday Miracle of Small Differences

Note from: peter@thewealthyattitude.com

Welcome to another brand spanking new ( and warmer) week.

Did you do the exercise I suggested on the weekend? Did you experience some shifts in your awareness?

According to some of the feedback, many of your fellow subscribers are entering this week with their relationships in a completely different condition. Amazing how that works.

If you didn’t get a chance to go over the suggestion and apply some of it in your day, go back to Friday’s note and you’ll get caught up on what it’s all about. Perhaps you could apply it in your dealings this week and assess for yourself if it’s worth adopting regularly. Try it.

On to today’s offering.

Our friend and contributor, Philip Humbert, presents the third in a series for us today.

The Everyday Miracle of Small Differences
By Philip Humbert

What are the keys to success? How do we explain the fact that two equally talented people sometimes produce dramatically different results?

Some people believe success is the result of talent or education, or "being in the right place at the right time." Some of us think it has to do with "who you know", or (let's be honest) that luck plays a part.

Well, I don't think "luck" has anything to do with it. I believe some people have a knack for doing the right things, in the right way, at the right time, and attracting the things they want in life, and that kind of "luck" is a skill that can be learned.

A few years ago, I read that the top sales people in a large insurance company earned 54 times more than the "average" salesperson made in commissions. Think of that-some people earned 54 times more per year than their colleagues who were selling the same products for the same company, with the same training. How could that be?

Were those top salespeople 54 times smarter or 54 times more talented? Would you argue they were 54 times luckier? Of course not!

It turns out, the differences in income were almost entirely the result of "small differences that made all the difference."

Now, the top sales people DID make more calls per day--but they did not make 54 times more calls, just a few extra calls. The top people did return calls more promptly and had slightly better phone skills. The top people read more, and had a better understanding of their products, and were perhaps better at communicating with prospects.

The essential piece, however, is that the things that mattered were the ordinary, routine skills that every salesperson has to master. It was the "little things" that made all the difference!

If you watch the Olympics, the Super Bowl or NBA play-offs, you see this principle in action. The winners were not necessarily more talented, younger, stronger or richer. Often the difference between winners and the others is a minor slip, or a moment of lost concentration. The winners are not 54 times better, or even twice as good. The difference between a gold medal and no medal is a tiny difference that makes all the difference!

Winners work for perfection in the small things. They pay more attention, they smile more, they read more, they get up earlier and stay a bit later. They don't necessarily work harder, but they do focus on quality, on performance, on the "winning edge." So can you!

The keys to success are not talent or wealth or luck or education. Someone once told me that winners are "ordinary people, doing ordinary things, extraordinarily well." I love that phrase and have it on my desk every day.

Today, do the ordinary tasks and routines of your life with extraordinary precision, with extraordinary energy, humor, warmth and passion.

These are the keys to long-term success!
Philip

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

The “Law of Attraction” and “Success”

A quick note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com

This week has been just a ton of fun here at The Wealthy Attitude.

We've got to laugh a lot, learn more about HTML language, get serious about "backing up" computers, and expressing "out loud" both appreciation and gratitude. Now that's living.

Dr Randy Pausch made a huge impact on Monday in his video presentation. He touched deeply many folks who subscribe here.

His impact on me personally was profound. I lovingly borrowed the term "Last Lecture" from his video and applied it to my own life this past week. I went about my tasks with a "what if this is my last" attitude. The outcomes and lessons were incredible.

I was much more conscious of every conversation, every action, and every intention. I became a softer, gentler, listener and speaker. Many things that I had deemed "important" turned out to not really mean much after all. And, the lessons continue.

I'm lovingly suggesting that you try this for yourself. Make a choice to do all that you have to do today, and through the weekend, as if you were doing it for the "last time". Seems weird to think about, but it's actually pretty easy.

Watch what happens!. I promise you that amazing things will occur.

Let me know here how it goes, and some of the many awareness's that come up for you.

Today, a friend of mine provides some "mindset".


The “Law of Attraction” and “Success”
By Peter’s buddy and “Wealthy Attitude” supporter, Ross

Everyone seems to strive to be ’successful’ in life. We all look to apply the ‘Law of Attraction’ to gain ’success’.

But what is ’success’? What makes you successful, and what makes you a ‘failure’?

To answer this question, let’s first take a look at our world. Our societies are completely focused on our five senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling. Our five senses are constantly stimulated. They are enticed and exploited all the time.

It is therefore no surprise that we tend to focus our minds on materialism 24 hours per day. We tend to focus all the time on big cars, big houses, lots of money in the bank, and so on.

There is nothing wrong with that in itself. Neither does this mean that being ’spiritual’ equals being poor and living in a dump. That doesn’t make sense either. The problem is not with the ‘material’ objects themselves. I’ll get back to this later.

First, I’d like to know this… So many people want to ‘attract a new car’. But what is it with cars anyway? Somehow the car has become a symbol of status, of ’success’. I know a number of people (even some well-known ones) who are so obsessed with their cars, they even give names to their car.

A friend of mine had a car and was really proud of it. He called this car ‘Infinity’. Another friend of mine doesn’t care the least bit about what kind of car he drives. Still, he needed to buy a car the other day to be able drive to work. But because he didn’t really care about it, he simply bought the first set of wheels that he liked even just a bit and of which he thought the price was right for him. “If I can drive to work and back with it, then that’s a great car for me”, he thought.

He bought himself a pretty old car to be honest. It certainly didn’t look that fancy. The other friend would have dubbed it a piece of junk. But this guy couldn’t care less. In fact, he could see the fun of it. In response to my other friend who called his car ‘Infinity’, this guy decided to give his car a name too. He called it ‘Finity’.

I kid you not, this is a true story. What it illustrates is the relativity of ’status’ and ’success’. What one person would consider being dignified, could be considered by the next person as pathetic.

Like I said, the trap is not with material objects themselves. These are just frequency patterns anyway. The problem comes when we see those objects as the ultimate goals and the very symbols of success that confirm whether we ‘made it’ in life or not.

It is for this reason that many people look to others to confirm to themselves if they are ‘doing well’ or if they are ’successful’. When you don’t succeed in terms of big houses, big cars, big money, you are often considered as a ‘failure’, and often consider yourself as such.

The whole system thrives on consumption and the constant expansion of consumption, and the more we consume, the more we are considered to be ’successful’. This even leads to many people borrowing more of what they don’t have and getting in even deeper trouble, simply to provide themselves the very things that should testify to others of their alleged ’success’.

So is this the kind of ’success’ you are looking for?

What if I told you that the real success you are looking for is not having all kinds of material stuff, but is actually called ‘happiness’?

After all, why would you want a lot of money, or a big house, or a big car? Why would you want others to approve of you? In the end it all comes down to a desire for a sense of security and happiness, and being able to live life on your own terms. The quest ends when you’re happy and fulfilled.

But when are you happy and fulfilled?

Here’s a hint from what a wise man once said: “Money and fame do not happiness make.”

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with having a lot of money, or being well-known, or having big cars and big houses. These are all thought fields and are just experience. The problem is that so many people get absorbed in pursuing the material ‘dream’ that they forget about why they are doing that in the first place.

I believe it was John Harricharan who said this: “Most people are so busy trying to make a living, they forget to make a life.”

He’s right. Most people are ‘human doings’ instead of ‘human beings’.

The funny thing is that the greatest payoff from trying to get what you want through working with the ‘Law of Attraction’ or ‘deliberate creation’ comes from a state of being. It is a state of happiness, contentment and love and gratitude for what IS that gets you what you truly want.

At any rate, the greatest payoff from your attraction efforts does certainly not come from an obsession with ever more material stuff in the merry-go-round that gets faster by the day, for the sole reason to seek approval and confirmation of your ’success’ from others, in order to compensate for a lack of self-esteem that is the cause of this obsession to begin with.

A sense of security, self-esteem and ’success’ is found within yourself, not outside.

And the funny thing is that once you give up the obsession with possession and finally acknowledge your true self, the person who you really are deep inside, you seem to manifest what you want much more easily.

When that happens, you can enjoy all kinds of material stuff as much as you like, if that’s what you choose. You can choose to have a big car if you like. You can choose to live in a big house if that’s what you want.

The difference is that you won’t be controlled by the never-ending pursuit of these things. You won’t be ‘on the path to happiness and success’ anymore. You would just BE happy instead, and from there you will allow things to manifest instead of chasing them forever. It’s a small difference in perception, but with profound effects.

It is then that you will start to live life, instead of life living you.

So what is ’success’?

Success, my friend, is what you define it to be.

Now go manifest your success, whatever that is for you!

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Achieve Your Dreams

Peter's note:
I want to thank each and every one of you who sent notes through me to Randy Pausch and his family. As I read your delicious words I was humbled by your love and compassion, and your thanks to Randy for "showing up" the way he does.

Also, I'm very happy to announce that yesterday's "tickle" challenge to get through the short video without breaking a smile was accomplished by "NO ONE". My faith in the wonder of laughter remains intact.

One of my dreams as always been to have this space be relevant in people's lives. It is with your feedback that I get to appreciate that the dream indeed comes true every single day.Our buddy Jim Rohn's short offering today makes it all clear.

Achieve Your Dreams

by Jim Rohn

While the majority of people spend most of their lives struggling to earn a living, a much smaller number seem to have everything going their way... Instead of just earning a living, the smaller group is busily working at building and enjoying a fortune. Everything just seems to work out for them. And here sits the much larger group, wondering how life can be so unfair, so complicated and unjust. What's the major difference between the little group with so much, and the larger group with so little?

Despite all of the factors that affect our lives—like the kind of parents we have, the schools we attended, the part of the country we grew up in—none has as much potential power for affecting our futures as our ability to dream...

Dreams are a projection of the kind of life you want to lead. Dreams can drive you. Dreams can make you skip over obstacles. When you allow your dreams to pull you, they unleash a creative force that can overpower any obstacle in your path. To unleash this power, though, your dreams must be well-defined. A fuzzy future has little pulling power. Well-defined dreams are not fuzzy. Wishes are fuzzy. To really achieve your dreams, to really have your future plans pull you forward, your dreams must be vivid.

If you've ever hiked a fourteen thousand foot peak in the Rocky Mountains, one thought has surely come to mind "How did the settlers of this country do it?" How did they get from the East Coast to the West Coast? Carrying one day's supply of food and water is hard enough. Can you imagine hauling all of your worldly goods with you...mile after mile, day after day, month after month? These people had big dreams. They had ambition. They didn't focus on the hardship of getting up the mountain.

In their minds, they were already on the other side—their bodies just hadn't gotten them there yet! Despite all of their pains and struggles, all of the births and deaths along the way, those who made it to the other side had a single vision: To reach the land of continuous sunshine and extraordinary wealth. To start over where anything and everything was possible. Their dreams were stronger than the obstacles in their way.

You've got to be a dreamer. You've got to envision the future. You've got to see California while you're climbing fourteen thousand foot peaks. You've got to see the finish line while you're running the race. You've got to hear the cheers when you're in the middle of a monster project. And you've got to be willing to put yourself through the paces of doing the uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable... Because that's how you realize your dreams.

To Your Success,
Jim

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Benefits of Laughter

By Chuck Gallozi
Angels fly because they take themselves lightly. (G.K. Chesterton)

Plato's remark that "Even the gods love jokes." must be correct, for the value of laughter is recorded in sacred scripture. For example, the Koran states that "He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh." By the fourteenth century, the healing power of humor was recognized by the medical community. An important French surgeon, Henri de Mondeville (1260-1320), wrote, "Let the surgeon take care to regulate the whole regimen of the patient's life for joy and happiness, allowing his relatives and special friends to cheer him, and by having someone tell him jokes."

However, extensive research on 'laughter therapy' did not begin until after the New England Journal of Medicine published an article by Norman Cousins in 1976. Later, in 1979, this article became the first chapter of his book, 'Anatomy of an Illness.' In it he explained how he was diagnosed in 1964 with ankylosing spondylitis (also known as spondylitis, AS, or Bechterew Disease). The disease usually results in acute inflammation of the spine and can affect other areas of the body as well. Norman Cousins' case was so severe that he was given a one in five hundred chance of recovery and a few months to live.

Realizing that negative thoughts and attitudes can result in illness, he reasoned that positive thoughts and attitudes may have the opposite effect. So he left the hospital and checked into a hotel where he took mega doses of vitamin C and watched humorous movies and shows, including 'Candid Camera' and the Marx Brothers. He found that ten minutes of boisterous laughter resulted in at least two hours of pain-free sleep. He continued his routine until he recovered. Thus, he proved that laughter is the best medicine, and pointed the way to mind-body medicine.

William Fry, M.D., professor of psychiatry at Stanford University Medical School and expert on health and laughter, reports the average kindergarten student laughs 300 times a day. Yet, adults average just 17 laughs a day. Why the difference? Are we too uptight, too tense? Do we take life too seriously? Isn't it time we learned how to relax? We don't stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing. So, if we want to fly like the angels and share in their happiness, we'll have to follow their example and take ourselves lightly.

Our five senses are not enough for ideal living. We need to use our sixth sense: our sense of humor. Humor isn't about merely telling jokes; it's the way we view the world. We can be sincere about life without taking it so seriously. We can laugh about our mistakes and pain. Louis Kronenberger explains: "Humor simultaneously wounds and heals, indicts and pardons, diminishes and enlarges; it constitutes inner growth at the expense of outer gain, and those who posses and honestly practice it make themselves more through a willingness to make themselves less."

The brilliant American humorist, James Thurber (1894-1961), described humorists as follows: "The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature." The wellspring of laughter is not happiness, but pain, stress, and suffering. Socrates pointed this out when he taught, "The comic and the tragic lie inseparably close, like light and shadow." So, we should be thankful for our suffering, for without it there would be nothing to laugh at! When we laugh at our woes, they dissolve, or at least become bearable, so that we arrive at peace and happiness. As the pragmatic philosopher and psychologist, William James (1842-1910), said, "We don't laugh because we're happy, we are happy because we laugh."

What's the reason behind this article? Simply to point out the benefits of laughter are too numerous to ignore. Now is the time to resolve that we will consciously make an effort to laugh frequently throughout the day. Of course, as we do so, we will laugh with people - not at them. We will laugh at what people do, not at what people are. We will laugh not only to lighten our burdens, but those of everyone we meet.

The many benefits of laughter

1. When you make fun of yourself, you dis-empower those who would make fun of you and disarm possible confrontations.

2. Laughter dissolves tension, stress, anxiety, irritation, anger, grief, and depression. Like crying, laughter lowers inhibitions, allowing the release of pent-up emotions. After a hearty bout of laughter, you will experience a sense of well-being. Simply put, he who laughs, lasts. After all, if you can laugh at it, you can live with it. Remember, a person without a sense of humor is like a car without shock absorbers.

3. Medical researches have found that laughter boosts the immune system. The study of how behavior and the brain affect the immune system is called psychoneuroimmunology. Though still in its infancy, this science is rapidly gaining much attention as mankind strives to understand the mind-body relationship.

4. Laughter reduces pain by releasing endorphins that are more potent than equivalent amounts of morphine.

5. Humor helps integrate both hemispheres of our brain, for the left hemisphere is used to decipher the verbal content of a joke while the right hemisphere interprets whether it is funny or not.

6. Laughter adds spice to life; it is to life what salt is to a hard-boiled egg.

7. Develop your sense of humor and you will find you are more productive, a better communicator, and a superior team player.

8. Everyone loves someone who can make them laugh. The more you share your sense of humor, the more friends you will have.

9. Humor brings the balance we need to get through the turbulence of life comfortably.

10. Laughter is even equivalent to a small amount of exercise. It massages all the organs of the body, according to Dr. James Walsh.

11. A sense of humor can help you accept the inevitable, rise to any challenge, handle the unexpected with ease, and come out of any difficulty smiling.

The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed. Don't wait until you are sick before you begin practicing laughter therapy. Start today by renting comedy classics from your video store, borrowing humorous books from the library, attending comedy clubs or watching comics on TV, and exchanging jokes with family members, friends, and coworkers. If you are visiting someone in the hospital, why not bring funny greeting cards and humorous books instead of flowers?

I'll end on a personal note. Every time I'm out on a cloudy day with a group of friends, I'm the first person to know when it starts to rain. Do you know why? Because I'm bald!

**Note from peter@thewealthattitude.com **

Folks, I absolutely challenge you not to break up laughing at this short 1:40 video.

Belly laughing here!

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Monday, February 18, 2008

Lessons From The Shadows

By Angel Shadow

"Everyone carries a Shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." --Jung

For most people, a shadow is easy to visualize. You're walking down the street on a sunny day, and it follows you, mimicking your every move. You raise your arm and it copies you. You lift your leg, it will lift its leg. Shadows are fun to play with. You can chase them, try to hide from them and control their every move. But there's another type of personal shadow that most people try to avoid. This shadow is more than a reflection on the ground beside you. This is the shadow that lives inside. It only comes out to play when it wants to, and rather than you being the one in control, it wants to dictate your every move, thought, and emotional reaction. Your inner shadow-self is a trickster and it loves to take control and tell you how to live your life. Instead of avoiding it or trying to keep it hidden deep inside, the shadow needs to be brought out and dealt with. It doesn't like confrontation with itself. Looking in the mirror is not one of its strong suits.

So what does the inner shadow-self want? Why does it do the things it does? How does it control you and make you live and react in ways that sometimes surprise you? How many times have you reacted to a situation and later asked yourself, "Where did that come from?" Or have to explain yourself by saying, "I don't know what came over me! I usually don't act that way." But if you're honest with yourself, you will notice that you have, many times, reacted in the same manner. The shadow likes routine. It likes to keep things the way they are and when you try to change its programming, it will put up a fight.

There are a number of methods you can use to bring your shadow-self out into the open so you can get a good look at what's really controlling you...

Don't Avoid It

Don't be afraid of your shadow-self. It's a part of you. Whether you want to believe it or not, you created it. Many will argue that the circumstances of life created the inner shadow-self, but since you are always in control of your own emotional reactions, you are the one who created and currently feeds your shadow. The shadow likes to live in the past. That is where it gets its emotional feeding and that is where you get your emotional reactions. Until you begin reacting in a different manner to emotional situations, your shadow will enjoy playing out the same scenario over and over again. It thinks it's doing you a favor. But if your shadow is still working under negative influences, it's only hindering your personal growth. There is a healthy inner shadow-self and an unhealthy inner shadow-self. Learn to recognize the difference. You'll be able to tell by the way it makes you feel. Pay attention to your emotional reactions.

Make Peace With Your Past

Yeah, I know, easier said than done. But when you can make peace with your past, you can reprogram your inner shadow to react in a different way. You no longer have to be afraid of what it's feeding you, because you are literally making peace with that shadow part of yourself that requires healing. This will not happen overnight, so give yourself some time to heal. Sometimes baby steps are necessary to peel off all the layers and see what's there. I know it's hard, but keep peeling. As you peel each painful layer, come to terms with it. Confront it. Let it know it no longer has any control over you. Let it know that you control this area of thinking and you no longer wish to react as you did in the past. Remember, it will put up a fight, just stay with it. Be patient and loving with your shadow, after all, it's a part of you. Become friends with it. When you stop fighting it (fighting yourself) you begin to heal.

Identify Emotional Reactions

This is especially important for the emotional reactions to past experiences, because this is where your shadow gets its programming. Find the link in your past to your present way of thinking and the patterns its created. Look at situations where you always react the same way. This will help you identify where you need to make changes.

Let Go of Expectations

What kind of expectations did you have in the past? This includes yourself as well as others. Were those expectations met? If not, how did that affect you? Did it create trust issues? Did it lower your self-esteem? How can you pick yourself up now, so those negative past experiences no longer have that control over you? How can you change your expectations of yourself and others and bring it to a healthy level?

Your shadow has expectations too, so make sure you give it a solid foundation based on what's real. There will be times in your life where YOU will have to depend on YOU. That's part of the plan. You can't learn if everyone else does the work for you. Ask yourself how and why you express love and commitment the way you do. What are your expectations there? How do you EXPECT people to love you? When does commitment become a ball and chain?

Quit Acting Impulsively

How often do you act without thinking? When you do this, you're acting on a programmed response. You didn't even have to think about it; it simply happened. How have those actions served you in the past? Did you benefit from them? How can you change that so you reprogram yourself to think before you act? Start telling yourself you're not going to make any decisions without stopping and thinking for at least 30 seconds. If you're angry, this will give you time to cool off. If you're scared, it will give you time to rationalize your fears. Start allowing yourself time to think things through. There are very few circumstances in life that require an immediate decision, although your shadow enjoys making you feel differently.

Don't Dwell on Past Mistakes and Regrets

Instead of dwelling on mistakes and regrets from the past, reflect on them. Allow them to pass through your mind and incorporate the lesson into your present and future. What did you learn from them and are you still stuck in the same cycle of negative behavioral patterns? Everyone makes mistakes and has regret about the way they handled a situation. Just don't carry that guilt with you. Forgive yourself and move forward, taking the lesson with you so you don't repeat it. Your shadow doesn't like it when it can't rely on past mistakes to bully you.

Walk Away From the Past So You Can Move Into the Future

You won't be able to walk away from a painful past if you aren't willing to let go and move into the future. What do you need to walk away from? How are you chaining yourself to your own negative programmed responses? What's holding you back, other than yourself? It's alright to look at a situation in your life and decide to move away from it. You have the free will to make any decisions you want in life...it is, after all, your life. Have the courage to do what's best for you, without allowing your shadow-self to make the decisions.

Deal With Abandonment, Vulnerability and Rejection Issues

Everyone has dealt with issues of abandonment and rejection. No one is immune to it. At some point in your life, it will present itself. Realize that you are not alone and that it may be a blessing that a certain situation did not work out. Do not allow it to undermine your self-esteem. It's alright to feel vulnerable, just don't allow it to take over your life. Look at situations from the past that have caused this way of thinking and heal them. You are stronger than you think as long as you don't fall into victim mode...and the shadow loves to be in victim mode.

Build Your Self-Esteem

Don't judge yourself based on someone else's opinion and stop blaming others for how you feel. You're responsible for your own emotional reactions. That doesn't mean situations won't upset you, but you can control how you react to them. Eliminate self-doubt and build your self-esteem so it functions at a healthy level. Only you know your true heart, so don't allow someone else to tell you how to feel. Your shadow will latch onto this and use it against you.

Prepare For Change

Identify ways that you can prepare yourself for the changes you want to make. How can you bring your inner shadow-self forward and give it voice? If you are willing to give it a voice, you have to be willing to listen to what it has to say. That's the important part. Your shadows are trying to speak to you everyday, you just aren't listening. If you were, the changes you need would already be taking place. Allow your shadow to speak and heal itself. Again, this is a part of you. So think of it as giving yourself a voice. Start a shadow journal. Allow yourself to write anything in this journal that assists in your healing. No one has to see it but you.

Project Into the Future

Where do you want to be five years from now? How can you make changes in your programmed responses to take you there? Imagine what it will be like and live it as though it's happening right now. This is how you will change the programming. Start acting now. Pretend if you have to. Imagine you're playing a role in a movie and you have to ACT like a character that has exactly what you're working toward. How does this character act? What do they do to make the part realistic? How do they react to things? By pretending, you're actually moving toward the person you want to be because your mind doesn't know you're acting. It will respond to what you feed it emotionally. It doesn't know how to do anything else. That's how people win Oscars. So clear a spot on your shelf. What do you want to become? What kind of emotional projection will it take to get yourself there? Your shadow's a good actor, so bring it along. Just make sure it isn't dictating all the lines.

"Who Am I" Exercise

When I was in Priestess training, we did an exercise called, "Who Am I?" Out of everything I learned, this lesson sticks with me the most. It's intense and you will have to dig deep. This is not an easy exercise, but you will learn things about yourself that you never realized were there. Issues and feelings that have been bottled up will be released, allowing you to take a good look at your shadow and how it controls your thinking and daily responses.

You will need a partner who's willing to sit with you for 30 minutes. This should be someone who will not judge you based on what you say. They are there to support you and assist in your healing. Choose someone you can be comfortable with, because you may break down and cry. This is good, it means you're releasing.

Choose a place where you and your partner can sit for a full half-hour and be comfortable. Face each other and hold hands. Many individuals aren't comfortable with holding hands, but during this exercise it's important to maintain human contact. You also need to keep constant eye contact. This isn't easy either, but try to hold it and use your partner for support. Your partner will start you off by asking you, "Who are you?" You will simply answer the question. At first, this is going to seem easy, but when you finish with your first set of thoughts and pause, your partner needs to ask it again. "Who are you?" After the first few minutes, this question will become difficult to answer.

Remember to allow anything that comes into your mind to be released. You may find yourself wanting to say things that you aren't comfortable with. Say them anyway.

Every time you pause, your partner needs to repeat the question. Once in a while, they can ask, "What flows through you?" instead. This may help get you back on track and move your energy in another direction. It may help open your mind to another area that needs releasing. But they need to come back to the "Who are you?" question. Continue this for a full 30 minutes. It will seem like an eternity and you will be physically and emotionally exhausted when you are done. You may experience some intense dreaming that night as well, as your mind continues to release issues you've been holding onto. Remember, it's alright to cry, so if you feel tears coming, don't hold them back. Allow the release.

Because you're holding hands and maintaining eye contact during this exercise, your partner will most likely experience an emotional heaviness afterward. This is normal, as you've spent the last half-hour passing your energy to them. Make sure you choose someone who understands this and has the ability to release "your" stuff and not hold onto it. This is important!

Learning from your shadow takes a conscious effort. You have to become aware of every thought and reaction that flows through you. This is exhausting work, but if you want to heal the shadow parts of yourself, it's worth it. Your shadow-self will kick and scream, saying it doesn't want to change. It will mess with your self-esteem and try to keep you locked in your programmed, victim mode. It's up to you to move away from that and write a new script. You're the writer, director, actor, editor and producer of your life's work. So allow yourself the best possible lighting and environment. Only you know how you can truly shine!

Remember to clear a spot on that shelf!

Copyright © 2008 Angel Shadow™ All rights reserved. My ancestry is Irish and Cherokee Indian and I have a gypsy spirit that refuses to be fenced in. I am definitely not a conformist. Much of my life was spent under the control of others. I have now found my own personal freedom, based on my own personal truth and nothing could be more liberating. Find out more at Angel Shadow

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Sunday, February 17, 2008

A True Modern Day "Hero".

by peter@thewealthyattitude.com

Hello there all and welcome to the start of a brand new week.

I wrestle sometimes with how to get our week underway with The Wealthy Attitude Daily Reader. There is so very much I want to share with you that I often spend hours bouncing around my files to get the "right" piece for the program.

Today's offering needed none of that.

Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon University computer-science professor, was about to give a lecture in September 2007, but before he said a word, he received a standing ovation from 400 students and colleagues.

He motioned to them to sit down. "Make me earn it," he said. They had come to see him give what was billed as his "last lecture." This is a common title for talks on college campuses today. Schools such as Stanford and the University of Alabama have mounted "Last Lecture Series," in which top professors are asked tothink deeply about what matters to them and to give hypothetical final talks.

For the audience, the question to be mulled is this: What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance?

It can be an intriguing hour, watching healthy professors consider their demise and ruminate over subjects dear to them. At the University of Northern Iowa, instructor Penny O'Connor recently titled her lecture "Get Over Yourself." At Cornell, Ellis Hanson, who teaches a course titled "Desire," spoke about sex and technology.

At Carnegie Mellon, however, Dr. Pausch's speech was more than just an academic exercise. The 46-year-old father of three has pancreatic cancer and expects to live for just a few months.

What you are about to witness in the next 10 minutes is a modern hero creating a "legacy".

Let me know what it does for you.

Watch the video here!

For this week, give some thought to your legacy.

Take care,

~peter~

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Are You Starving Yourself of Success?

By Noah St. John

October 20, 1997 dawned like any other day in the New England college town where I attended school. As a 30-year-old Literature major, I was two semesters away from graduation and working on my first book. What I didn't know was that by the end of the day, my life would be changed forever.

That night, I went to a seminar on eating disorders. Although I didn't have an eating disorder, I'd known many people who had suffered from anorexia or bulimia, and I thought the seminar might shed some light on what caused these conditions.

The speaker at the seminar began to describe why someone develops an eating disorder, and said that these individuals are not merely trying to lose weight or look like a supermodel. Rather, she described a person who was hypersensitive, felt overly responsible for everyone else's feelings, and suffered from a deeply negative self-image. All these factors combined to cause the person to simply refuse to eat.

In short, the person wasn't starving herself to lose weight -- but in attempt to "not be here." Her research had also shown that eight times as many women develop eating disorders as men.

The Moment My Life Changed Forever

After I heard this description, I said to myself, "Wow, that sounds just like me!" Even though I'd won numerous scholarships, awards and accolades, I had often wondered what I was doing on Earth and certainly felt responsible for everyone else's happiness.

"Why, then," I asked myself, "did I not develop an eating disorder? And why do eight times as many women develop eating disorders as men?"

All of a sudden, I knew the answer to both questions. It was the moment my life made sense for the first time.

I suddenly realized that women in Western culture have been told -- and believe unconsciously -- that their worth or value as a person comes from their physical appearance. (Notice how this message is reinforced by an unforgiving media.) At the same time, men are taught that their worth comes from their material possessions, status, or level of success. (Neither of these, of course, is where a person's true worth comes from; it's just where both sexes have been TOLD their worth comes from.)

In that instant, I realized that rather than starving myself of food (attacking my physical body), I was starving myself of *success* -- attacking my material body because of this dangerously negative self-image.

I sat there, stunned, because I realized that I had just discovered what really causes the so-called "fear of success" and "self-sabotage." The cause was a condition that no one had ever identified before, and that therefore didn't even have a name.

I realized that the most accurate name for this condition would be *success anorexia* -- because rather than not being smart or talented enough to achieve success, the person is literally *starving themselves of success.*

"How Do I Know If I'm Starving Myself Of Success?"

Here is a simple way to see if you may be suffering from success anorexia (starving yourself of success). How many of the following descriptions you can identify with?

1. I read lots of self-help books but can't seem to use them to improve my own life.

2. I'm insecure about money or making much less than I should be making.

3. I'm in a job that doesn't allow me to express my real talents or level of true abilities.

4. I expect myself to be perfect all the time.

5. I try to be all things to all people.

6. I find it very easy to start projects and very hard to finish them.

7. I feel guilty saying "no" to other people.

8. I'm more comfortable watching others succeed than letting myself succeed.

9. I usually feel like I'm not doing enough, even when I'm doing all I can.

10. I feel responsible for everyone else's feelings.

11. I often let others win, even when I could easily win.

12. I have a very low opinion of myself, even though other people tell me I'm smart, funny, and capable.

13. I usually settle for crumbs, even though I know I deserve better.

If you can identify with 6 or more of these warning signs, you may be at risk for success anorexia.

(By the way, just as many women suffer from success anorexia as men, because women today are being told that their worth lies not only in their physical bodies, but also in their level of success.)

How To Stop Starving Yourself of Success

In my book "Permission To Succeed: Unlocking The Mystery of Success Anorexia", I identify seven steps you can take to reverse success anorexia and allow yourself to succeed. Here are a few steps you can begin today:

Step 1. Identify your Loving Mirrors. A Loving Mirror is someone who can see you for who you really are, someone who can love and support you unconditionally. While this may sound "touchy-feely," we all need the loving encouragement of someone like a coach, teacher, or mentor to become all we can be.

Make a list of the people in your life who can offer you unconditional support. If you want free resources to help you find Loving Mirrors in your life, go to www.PermissionToSucceed.com for more information.

Step 2. Become willing to succeed. Few people realize that what we want is also what we fear. If you're afraid of success, no matter how many "how-to's" of success you know, you still won't let yourself succeed.

How do we overcome this? Do a Ben Franklin on yourself. Whenever Benjamin Franklin had a difficult decision to make, he would make a list of the pros and cons of the decision. Do the same thing with success.

What could possibly be a drawback to succeeding? For one thing, you may have to face your fear of the unfamiliar or people being jealous of you. What if people expect you to do and be more than you think you can?

Get the drawbacks and benefits to success down on paper and you can finally face and overcome your fears.

Step 3. Establish Goal-Free Zones. Set a time and place where you don't do anything. This is vital, because many of us are overwhelmed by our "to-do" lists every day.

In addition, people who starve themselves of success are literally addicted to goal-setting, and feel incredibly guilt-tripped if they stop, even for a moment, to take time for themselves.

I counsel my students to establish Goal-Free Zones, because this is the only way we can learn that the world won't end if we take time for ourselves. Astonishingly, this can be one of the hardest steps for people to take because of the overwhelming guilt they feel when they do something "selfish."

We are victims of circumstances within our control. One of the greatest realizations of my life was that stopping myself from success not only wasn't helping others, it was actually hurting those I care about most.

Please don't wait as long as I did.

Use these tools and give yourself permission to succeed.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Squashing Expectations

By Martin Perry

It's the Irish Open Squash Championships. Two young players are battling it out in the early stages of the competition. Both are talented. Both can play. Both are of equal capability. But one player is walking away with the game. The difference between the two is that one is managing his emotions. The other player, the loser, isn't.

His emotions are getting the better of him. Every time he makes a mistake, he reacts by banging his racket, cursing and getting frustrated. Curiously, this doesn't seem to make him play better. Why? He is struggling to handle a contradiction. It’s the contradiction between how he expects to play, and how he is playing. Or, how he believes others expect him to play and how he is
playing. The crushing pressure of expectation!

He has an image or feeling of how he should be playing. And that contradicts with how he is playing. I should vs I am. The I Should is based on what he expects to do, the I Am on what he is doing.

The cursing and racket beating is done to try to galvanize the I Am into action - in the hope that if he creates enough 'energy', then the gap between expectations (I should) and performance (I am) will be instantly bridged.

The anger though doesn't serve to help the 'I Am'. It has the opposite effect. It makes the 'I Am' feel inadequate, incapable of matching the demand it is feeling. The I Am will answer that it is doing it's best but it senses that it's best isn't enough.

This evokes a host of troubled feelings in the 'I Am'. Feelings of not being good enough, feelings of blame and inadequacy arise. And it leads to negative self-talk; 'You're **** at this!' 'You'll never succeed'. 'I want to give up'. Psychologies of bleakness and despair pop up. The pressure of the should is proving hard to handle. The I Am is measuring itself against the I Should and coming up short. It looks within itself and cannot find the answer.

A gloom then descends over the I Am, a gloom which causes the I Am to feel that things will never change. 'I will never break through'. 'Everybody else succeeds - but me'!

Negative thoughts and feelings tumble over each other to declare themselves. It's happy-hour in Bleak City. Small emotional explosions are set off. Psychological triggers that load the mind with a negative self-view. A gloom that feels permanent. A gloom compounded when those expectations are yet again, not realized.

The first step in handling the shortfall between I Should and I Am is to be aware that you are having a reaction to it. It's not the gap which is the problem. No - it is the reaction to it. It's the reaction that triggers the feelings of guilt, despair etc. It’s the reaction that impacts upon our confidence.

If this happens to you, then try to be aware that you beat yourself up when things go wrong. Be aware of what triggers this psychology, and the consequences of it; aware of when it tends to happen; aware of what it feels like.

And, importantly, be aware that you no longer want to be subject to this kind of feeling, this kind of mood, or this kind of response.
It means developing a more gentle response within oneself, with less frustration, and more understanding of the fact that you are doing your best. Recognize that expectation is creating more pressure than you need. Come to a quiet agreement within yourself, that when you feel the demand of expectation, you will simply try not to react to it. You don't try to fight it but you remain steady.

Thus the young squash player - instead of beating himself up to get a response, he could encourage himself; quietly and gently. It's not the I Am's fault that expectancy is so high. The I Am is innocent. Bring forth encouragement; warmth; support - qualities that will give it confidence.

Let the I Am know that it is OK. Tell it what it is doing well, that it is not it's fault, so that it feels supported and not alone.

Confidence is the state of trust between you and you. It’s a quiet state. It's not about being perfect but about knowing yourself. The feeling you have about yourself, and how you respond to certain situations. Build that feeling of trust and quiet agreement within yourself and your natural confidence will flourish.

Martin Perry is the author of The Confidence Booster Workout

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Bad Choices, Bad Habits

By Nancy Schimelpfening

Regaining Your Ability to Choose is Key to Breaking Habits

A habit is any action that we have performed so often that it becomes almost an involuntary response. If we consider this habit to be undesirable then we may label it a "bad habit". People spend countless hours and dollars each year attempting to break these bad habits and often do not have any success. Why? Because there is no magic bullet. Change is hard work and there is no short cut to achieving it. The steps a person needs to take, however, can be very simply outlined. To effect a change in habits, one needs to bring the action back into the realm of consciousness and regain the ability to make choices.

What's the Payoff?

The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet!

What's the Trade Off

Next, take a look at the trade off. What is it that you are losing by exercising your habit? This step should be easier. Just think why it is that you consider it a bad habit in the first place. Yelling at your kids is a bad habit because it leaves everybody feeling tense and tears down your children's self-esteem. You are trading a temporary release of tension for the emotional health of your children. Leaving the dishes undone is a bad habit because your kitchen is a smelly mess. To have more Internet time you are trading off having a pleasant living environment. When you look at it that way it doesn't seem like you are making very wise choices, does it? There has to be a better way.

Time to Make a Choice!

Now that you've weighed both sides of the issue--your payoff and your tradeoff--it's time to make a choice. It's no longer an involuntary act because now you know that you are making a choice every time you perform this action. You are choosing what you value more: the payoff or the tradeoff! Each time you start to do whatever the bad habit is now you have to actively choose. Which do you value more? Do you value more the relief you get by yelling at your kids or do you value their emotional well-being? Do you value more having more Internet time or having a pleasant place to live?

Substituting Better Behaviors

The whole reason you formed your habits in the first place is that they filled a need. You had tension that needed relief or you had a desire to surf the Net. As you break the old patterns you still need a way to fulfill these needs. You will be not only making an active choice to not do the old action you will also be making a choice to perform a better, alternative action in its place. Instead of yelling at your kids you might decide to go for a run every time you are feeling tense. Instead of letting dirty dishes pile up you may decide to use paper plates when you are eating alone. What the new habit is that you substitute isn't so important as whether you feel good about the choices you have made. After all, the reason you consider it a bad habit is because it leaves you feeling bad about yourself.

It's Up to You

By now you should realize that the only way to continue with a bad habit for very long is to sink back into denial of why you are doing it in the first place. Each time you begin to resume your old patterns the thought will pass through your mind that you are trading X for Y each time you perform that action. You will be forced to make a choice, whether good for bad, about continuing your habit.

What choices will you make?

The one that makes you feel bad about yourself or the one that makes you feel good?

It's up to you.

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Monday, February 11, 2008

In My Humble Opinion!

By Karen Wright

"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge." --Elbert Hubbard

"Your opinion is your opinion, your perception is your perception - do not confuse them with 'facts' or 'truth.' Wars have been fought and millions have been killed because of the inability of men to understand the idea that EVERYBODY has a different viewpoint." --John Moore

We do it a dozen times a day and never even think about it. But, a few days ago, I did think about it and realized how incredibly judgmental I'd become. Like breaking any habit, the first step is awareness and the second step is to choose differently. I know that this will be quite a feat. And I know it will also bring me a greater level of peace.

Before I give it all away, let me ask you to think of a food that you really hate. One that makes you gag just to think of it. Got it? Okay, now pretend to tell me about that food. You might say things like, "That's disgusting!" or, "It's the worst food on the face of the earth."

Do words like, "This traffic is horrible" come to mind? Perhaps you're not too crazy about your boss and think, "He's such an idiot!"

I know that if you're like most folks, words like these cross your mind many times a day about all kinds of things that drive you nuts. But, what I noticed the other day was that I was using my opinion like it was a fact. I saw a celebrity on TV wearing a green dress and said, "That dress is hideous!" But, obviously the celeb didn't think so.

Think about it for a minute. The dress isn't hideous, I just don't happen to like it. The dress, or anything else in the world for that matter, just is. Rain just is. Earthquakes just are. Lines at the grocery store just are. For me to assign them "factual" qualities is presuming that I see the world as it really is. When in fact, I can only see it as I see it.

This might seem like a minor point and, in the bigger scheme of life, what difference does it matter that I use my opinions as fact? But, it does matter to how I experience my world. First, when I own my opinions, I take responsibility for them. I take a stand and let the world know that this is how I feel. And I have a right to feel that way. Just like others have a right to feel differently than me.

Secondly, when I own my opinions, I stop laying blame at the feet of things, people, and events that aren't to blame. I really hate liver. But, liver is not to blame for my prejudice. The same holds true for people I don't like. They are not responsible for my opinions of them. As Terry Cole Whittaker once said, "What you think of me in none of my business."

So, I'm going on a judgment diet. When I start to lay condemnation on something I'm not fond of, I'll accept my own opinion and recognize that my thoughts are mine and aren't the truth of the thing I'm labeling.

Karen is author of The Sequoia Seed

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Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Every Day Magic of Thinking BIG!

By Philip Humbert

There is something uniquely human about looking to the skies. From ancient times, wise men and woman have encouraged us to "look to the hills, from whence cometh my strength." We all know the call of distant horizons.

Humans have always wondered what's beyond the horizon, over the hill or around the bend. We long to see farther, go further and do more. The urge to dream big dreams is part of what motivates our heroes, from the ancient story of Ulysses, to more recent heroes like John Glenn, Chuck Yeager, or Amelia Earhart.

And yet too often we get bogged down in the trivia of every-day things. Of course life requires that we do our daily work. Taking care of the house, running the errands and paying the bills are not trivial things! They are the routines that make life possible. We rely on each other to complete our daily tasks.

But, as the old song asks, "is that all there is?" We know the answer, and it troubles us.

Sometimes, we need to step back and lift our eyes to the hills and beyond. Sometimes we need to ask the big questions, and contemplate the big answers.

In 1959, David Schwartz wrote a book called, The Magic of Thinking BIG that has changed thousands of lives forever. It's written in an "old" style and there's no mystery or drama in it, just the truth that we NEED big dreams. There is something in us that needs a larger destiny, a greater purpose.

I think the true heroes have always been people who balanced three very difficult, and very different, things:

1. Heroes do their work and fulfill the ordinary responsibilities of everyday life. They show up every day. They keep their promises. They do their work. They are responsible people.

2. Heroes also have the ability to hear and honor a big dream. Amelia Earhart heard the call. John Glenn heard the call. Teddy Roosevelt never stopped exploring the great American west. Helen Keller could see more clearly that most. Today's heroes are responsible people who do their daily chores, but keep one eye (always) on a bigger prize.

3. Heroes take concrete, effective action in the direction of their dreams. They didn't just look at the horizon and wonder, they get up and go. Yes, they probably work a bit harder than the average person. They probably get up earlier, stay later, or work more weekends, but they find a way to pursue their BIG idea.

There is real magic in pursuing HUGE goals! We get excited about "Big Harry Audacious Goals" (B-HAGS) in a way that small, safe, ordinary goals can never match. Mundane goals to increase our income or lose ten pounds pale beside the desire to fulfill our destiny!

The world responded to President Kenney's challenge to go to the moon because humans LOVE over-coming obstacles, solving problems, and making a difference! We enjoy being part of something meaningful and significant. We are creatures who naturally look to the horizon and ask "what's next?"

What's your BIG idea? What excites you? What takes your breath away, keeps you up at night, makes you smile all day long? What's your B-HAG? Sometimes it's "distant and far away," vague or fuzzy, but it's in there! Find it, dust it off and pursue it! People will join you and things will unfold in amazing ways.

Lift your eyes, dream your dreams, take action!

It's what makes life worth the living!

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Thursday, February 7, 2008

There’s No Free Lunch

by Dr. Joseph Murphy

As the old saying goes, "There’s no such thing as a free lunch." Recently I was in a store that was offering a free pack of razor blades if you bought two tubes of shaving cream. Well, of course, the blades weren’t really free—their cost was passed on to the customers indirectly in the price of other things they bought at the store.

Nothing is free.

If you want to be wealthy, you must pay the price for wealth; if you want success, there’s a price for that. The price of achieving these things is applying the law of mind—and not everyone is willing to do that. For example, I knew a wonderful metaphysical teacher in New York City named Mrs. Menier. She lived in the Lucerne Hotel and had a friend who would visit her, borrow books, and accept the old clothes that were offered to her. I asked Mrs. Menier one time, "Why doesn’t this woman listen to you—to your teaching? She doesn’t have to wear your old clothes. She could become successful on her own." Mrs. Menier replied, "She’s unwilling to pay the price. She’s unwilling to pay attention and apply these truths. She prefers old clothes to wisdom."

I think Mrs. Menier was right. Her friend preferred old clothes, secondhand umbrellas, and things of that nature to the application of mental and spiritual laws. All she had to do was take an interest in the great truths, but she was unwilling to pay the price. That’s true of many people. Mrs. Menier was very sympathetic and kept on giving her old clothes, but I don’t think that actually did her friend any good.

Whatever you desire, you must give your attention, devotion, and loyalty to it.

There’s always a price to be paid. When you learned to drive, you had to make a conscious effort to learn how to steer, merge, and park. You can probably do all these things effortlessly now. At this point your subconscious mind is actually driving the car. You paid the price by paying attention to learning how to drive a car, and now you can do it automatically.

The price of getting what you want includes having faith that your desires can be fulfilled—and not everyone has this faith. For example, at a summer seminar I was teaching in Denver on the powers of the subconscious mind a few years ago, I met a woman who had been praying for ten years for her eczema to be healed—with no results. She had applied various astringent lotions and other topical medications without any appreciable relief. Although she had tried to be healed, she had never paid the price, which was to have complete faith in the Infinite Healing Presence and the law of her own subconscious—to trust the law and believe that the Healing Presence would respond and heal her skin. She had been giving power to externals, saying, "My skin is sensitive to the sun. I’m allergic to the cold weather. I believe this eczema is spreading all over my arm due to heredity. It’s my genes and chromosomes that are at fault." After I explained the importance of having complete faith in the One Power, she began to pray as follows:

The Infinite Healing Presence that created my body and all its organs knows all the processes and functions of my body. I claim, feel, and know definitely and absolutely that the grandeur and glory of the Infinite are made manifest in my mind and body. The wholeness, vitality, and life of the Infinite flow through me now, and every atom of my being is transformed by the Infinite Healing Presence. I fully and freely forgive everyone, and I pour out love, truth, and beauty to all my relatives and in-laws. I give thanks for the healing that is taking place now, and I know that when I call, the answer comes.

She repeated this prayer slowly, quietly, and reverently several times every day. She told me prior to my leaving Denver that a remarkable change for the better had come over her entire being and that her skin had completely healed. She had faith and received the gift of healing.

Faith is attention, devotion, and loyalty to the One Creative Power. You have faith when you know that thoughts are things; that what you feel, you attract; and that what you imagine, you become. You have faith when you know that any idea deposited in the subconscious mind comes forth as form, experience, and conditions. For example, a group of hikers was lost in a forest but had faith that they would be guided to safety. They had no compass and didn’t know anything about navigating by the stars, but they sat down and said: "The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He will lead me to safety. He is guiding me now." They followed the lead (an intuition or hunch) that they received from the Supreme Intelligence, and they found their way to safety.

They paid the price by having faith in the Divine Source and calling upon it. Faith comes through understanding the laws of your mind and applying them diligently in all your affairs. Scientists have faith that their research will lead to a greater understanding of nature. Farmers have faith that the seeds they deposit in the ground will result in a harvest. Before you can receive wealth, you must have faith that you will get it. You must impress your subconscious mind with the idea of wealth, for whatever is impressed on the subconscious is expressed on the screen of space.

There are a number of qualities that contribute to personal success in life. Some of these—such as being born to good parents, in a favorable country or social class, or with natural physical and mental endowments—are completely out of our control. Fortunately, the qualities that really count are the ones that we can cultivate, and the most important of these is persistence. If you examine the biography of any man or woman who has made a lasting contribution to humanity, you will find that the majority exercised uncommon persistence.

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

Talent won’t—nothing is more common than talented people who are unsuccessful. Education alone cannot. The world is full of educated derelicts. Only persistence and determination are omnipotent. Give all of your allegiance and devotion to the God Presence and realize that it’s your guide, your counselor, and the source of all blessings. There’s no other power. Think of the wonders that would happen in your life if you gave your complete attention and loyalty to that great truth.

But if you give power to sticks and stones, to men and women, to the weather, and to all these other things, you’re worshiping many different gods and won’t get what you want. When you awaken to the truth that there’s One Power, One Presence, and One Cause, then your good will flow to you.

In a Nutshell

Nothing is free. If you want to be wealthy, you must pay the price for wealth; if you want success, there’s a price for that. Whatever you desire, you must give your attention, devotion, and loyalty to it; and then you’ll get a response, of course. The price is recognition, belief, and conviction. There’s always a price to be paid.

Give your attention, devotion, and loyalty to any subject and it will yield its secrets to you. If you don’t give your attention to a particular subject—whether it’s chemistry, mathematics, or your job—you’ll remain in darkness about it.

In order for you to receive, you must first give an idea to your subconscious mind. Before you can receive wealth, you must first impress your subconscious mind with the idea of wealth. Whatever is impressed on the subconscious is expressed on the screen of space.

Cast from your mind all preconceived notions, false beliefs, and superstitions; and realize that before you call, God will answer. Whatever you’re seeking already exists in the Infinite Mind. All you have to do is to identify mentally and emotionally with your desire or idea, realizing that it’s as real as your hand or heart.

Excerpted from Dr. Joseph Murphy's Maximize Your Potential Through the Power of Your Subconscious Mind -To Create Wealth and Success. Dr. Joseph Murphy (1898 - 1981), the founder of The Church of Divine Science, produced books, tapes, and radio broadcasts on spiritual matters, the historical values of life, the art of wholesome living, and the teachings of great philosophers—both from the Eastern and Western cultures. Dr. Murphy wrote more than 30 books. His most famous work, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, was first published in 1963, became an immediate bestseller, and was acclaimed as one of the best self-help guides ever written.

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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Are You Worthy of Worthiness?

by Ellie Walsh
http://LivingTheLawOfAttraction.com

A friend of mine was telling me a conversation she had about finances — the person said to her - well if you feel stuck - it is probably about feeling unworthy.

This conversation was about 1 month ago and at that time it did not ring any bells for my friend.

But now 1 month later she is aware of this lurking unworthiness - she can actually feel it physically in her body.

"….it’s this core feeling..I can actually feel it physically lodged so deep in the place between my belly button and rib cage. I can feel it’s physical form (like an upside down pyramid, with the base being on my skin surface and the point going way deep. Every day, I say over and over "I am ready to give up this un worthy crap and ready to allow in the things I have been wanting my whole life."So that’s what I am working on getting rid of. I’ve been asking for help with it, every night and every day, hoping I’ll get some insight on how to get it out……….

First I must say - I identify with this - I have been physically affected by my so-called issues. I have dealt / struggled with my so-called core issues….

So what is the unworthiness stuff? Is it a core issue? What is a core issue?

From what I have seen with myself and the people I work with - worthiness / unworthiness is probably behind all so-called issues. Fear, insecurity, anger, depression — on the most naked level really goes down to that feeling of not being worthy.

Where does this unworthiness come from?

I’m going to say it usually come from childhood. While children are the most connected they are also the most vulnerable to other people’s opinions. Even people who had extremely positive and uplifting parents can end up dealing with this — as society in general does not really uplift - instead it tells you what you can’t do.

Kids being told what they can’t do - many times will eventually internalize this as they are not good enough - to do! How many times do I hear adults tell kids - you can’t do this - you can’t do that - if you do this you will get hurt….. Even if someone is explaining you can’t do it because of —- still it can end up becoming personal…. it can end up being internalized as - I’m not good enough = I’m not worthy.

And what about core issues? What is a core issue? Is there such a thing as a core issue?

I have seen from my own experience that most of my so-called issues were interrelated. And I have found that at the bottom of these things it was usually a self worth / self esteem / worthiness issue.

So why not just go right to the source and clean it up once and for all?

I don’t know if that is always possible - as I have found things popped up at different times. And that feeling of getting to the bottom of it all — isn’t that really saying that I am broken and I need to be fixed?

Hmmmm - so let’s stay in Law of Attraction - How does that idea of being broken and needing to be fixed feel? And so what are you then vibrating? —> Broken and need fixing - - Hmmm and what does that vibration bring?

Right here is the reason I banged my head against the wall for many years. I was stuck in this arena of thinking I was broken - of needing to be fixed! I was going to deal with all my issues - I was going to resolve them all …….. and then…… I would be OK!! Then I would be Worthy!

It didn’t work - - Well actually it worked perfectly according to Law of Attraction - I continually felt like I was broke - I continually had issues to deal with - I continually was chasing the core issue!

Years ago - a wise person told me — "put your issues up on the shelf and leave them there - don’t take any of them down off the shelf. When the time is right for you to deal with them - they will fall off the shelf and hit you in the head and will have to deal with it."

That was good advice for me then - and when I followed it my life was truly easier, smoother, more joyful.

Then I went a step further ….. I threw the shelf out!

That’s right - I realized as long as I continued to see me with having issues - I was going to continue to have issues. How could I see myself as worthy - if I felt I had core issues to work on - if I felt I was still broken?

I finally got it - why did I beat myself up - make myself crazy trying to fix me - why did I see me as broken? Yet… if a friend of mine told me she was broken - I would not agree with her - I would tell her or him their good qualities - I would certainly not beat them up!

I was never going to feel worthy until - - I Loved Me….. until - - I Loved Me Unconditionally!

So - I threw out my issue shelf and I stopped talking about what was wrong with me. I stopped saying things like "I’m going to get rid of this issue or I am going to change this character defect" — Those statements are like saying "I’m going to stop thinking about Pink Elephants" — Now you are thinking about - - - - Pink Elephants!

You can’t deemphasize something - - the minute you put your attention on it - - your attention is on it - even though you are saying well I am putting my attention on not putting my attention on it - - That is Attention!!

You can not say No to something and have it go away - - No is putting your attention on it… The Universe responds to your vibration.

Today I talk about the things I want - I talk about my good qualities - I talk about the good qualities of others. I put my emphasis on those good qualities knowing the Universe will respond to that vibration.

I started out small - I was not able to jump right into "I am a worthy wonderful person" - - I did not fully believe that at first. I needed to take it in smaller steps. Each person needs to find the words that are right for them - and you will know what is right for you - by how you feel.

Today I am truly able to say "I Love Me" - I do believe I am a Magnificent Worthy Being….

And I believe You too, are a Worthy Magnificent Blessed Being!

Ellie

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