Your Perception IS Your Reality

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Wednesday June 4 2008

Welcome to the midweek point.

I’m so wonderfully excited this week. The Wealthy Attitude Book Store is being received incredibly by our subscribers. I just couldn’t be happier as many are now seriously building their e-book library’s. You can check it out at: www.thewealthyattitudebookstore.com

Also, the topic we’ve been working on now for nearly two weeks has generated mail to me that has me just buzzing. Many people are now (especially in light of the economic conditions) finally realizing that being in control of their own business enterprise is great insurance against the ravages of an undisciplined economy. We’ll be talking much more on this subject soon!

Many of the notes I’ve received recently about the whole “personal responsibility” issue, focus on the question between “reality” and “perception”. Our friend Tony offers us something today that is certainly worth some consideration.

Your Perception IS Your Reality

by Tony D. Clark

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein

"Everything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by perceiving it, so everything in the universe you perceive is specific to you." - Douglas Adams

Take a minute to scan your surroundings. Are you in a familiar place or somewhere new?

Stop reading this, and just look around you. Pick out an object, maybe something you hadn't noticed before, and focus your attention on it. If you really focus, it'll get brighter and more "real" than it was when it was just an unnoticed piece of the background noise of your life.

Now, try to view your surroundings from the point of the object. Some people can do this with no effort, and for others, it takes some concentration. Depending on how adept you are at focusing your concentration, you may notice a slight shift in your perception - a weird jump in realty, where you are suddenly viewing the world from a different perspective.

Did it work? Whether you noticed anything or not, your perception did change, albeit for an instant. It's important to be conscious of your perception, because if you're not, someone else will create it for you.

Trick the Eye in French

Things aren't always what they seem. Marketers and magicians rely on this fact to make you see things the way they want you too see them. Artists do, too.

You may have seen Julian Beever's amazing pavement drawings. He utilizes the Trompe l'oeil technique, which means "trick the eye" in French. He uses his drawing stills to create a perception. Like an optical illusion, our mind attempts to fill in the details of something it either thinks it already knows, or doesn't quite understand.

This works out fine when that's the intention - momentarily letting our world be shaped for fun. But wandering through life, letting others create your perceptions, can make for a very unfulfilling journey.

Change Your Story, Change Your Perception, Change Your Life

We all get caught up in our stories. Most of us think we are our stories. It's when those stories take on a life of their own, and that life isn't the one we want, that things start to suck.

Think about the story you're living right now. Who wrote it? Did you consciously decide to create the reality you're living now, or was it mainly shaped by your parents, friends, spouse, school, or the media?

If you don't like the story your living, then change the perception. Envision how you'd write the next chapter of your story. Better yet, actually sit down and write it. Focus your perception on creating a new reality, one where you are in charge of the story. Take back the job as screenwriter and director, and stop just being an actor (unless you're Rachel McAdams - I rather enjoy her acting).

Everything begins with a decision.

Decide now to be in charge of your own perception of reality. Because if you don't, there are plenty of folks whose sole purpose in life is to craft that perception for you.

Do you trust them to have your best interests in mind?

Tony D. Clark writes, draws cartoons, designs software and websites, and spends a lot of time talking others into working from home, being creative, and doing what they love.

5 Strategies for Lasting Change

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Thursday April 30 2008

Give a “high five” to this amazing Thursday.

According to some of my mail, yesterday’s offering certainly stirred up many of our subscribers. With the year being 1/3rd over, plans are being firmly adjusted to make sure intentions are met.

I was very excited yesterday to hear from one of my friends who is going through some of the craziness caused by the real estate debacle currently being experienced in the U.S. I hadn’t heard from her in a while, and was a tad concerned as she wasn’t returning e-mails, or phone calls.

This friend, who is also a subscriber, and who does read the “daily reader” (even though she hadn’t responded to my e-mails) was inspired by yesterday’s offering to drop me a note to say she needed more of that “stuff”.

So, by her prompting, we draw on one of our contributors for today offering.

5 Strategies for Lasting Change
Helaine Iris

“Be the change you wish to see.” Mahatma Gandhi

In the last issue of Along The Purpose Path I told the story of a client who’s been working to make a change in her life. She wants to grow her business while at the same time, decrease her stress level and increase how much she enjoys herself. She’s not alone.

My client’s breakthrough began when she made a mental shift from a state of striving to state of thriving.

What seems to make the difference between those who thrive versus those who strive comes down to the willingness to identify what is and isn’t working in life; and then making the appropriate changes. Yet, studies indicate that most - over three-quarters of us - fail to follow through on the changes we set out to make.

The reality is change is difficult for just about everyone. Those who do manage to follow though on life changes aren't simply lucky. Instead, they've mastered the skills to not only make change easier, but also to make their changes sustainable over time.

It's a cliché that bears repeating. Rome wasn't built in a day. Change happens one step at a time. The most effective change a person can make is when it’s taken in small increments. People often get stopped because they don’t shift their focus from the big picture long enough to effectively plan. When you don’t have a solid plan, and support for your plan, it’s easy to get bumped off course and become disillusioned.

The good news is every time you successfully implement a change, small or large, your life gets better. Success builds new evidence that change is possible. It spreads confidence and a sense of achievement throughout your life.

It’s the Spring season. It seems there's something magical about new beginnings that inspires most of us to reexamine our lives, renew our commitment to a goal or resolve to make changes. Some of us aim even higher toward a complete reinvention of our selves.

As a Coach, I earn my living by helping people make changes in their personal and professional lives. So it won't surprise you to hear me suggest these five strategies you can begin using to make changes, stop striving and begin thriving in the year ahead.

1. Identify the “gap”

A “gap” represents the difference between where you are currently and where you want to be. An example of a gap might be: I want to be exercising regularly but I’m currently not exercising at all. Or I want to start my own home business and I’m currently employed. There can be small gaps or there can be big gaps.

Having the life you want is really a matter of identifying and closing your gaps. This perspective can reduce the feelings of overwhelm. Instead of looking at life as one huge problem, you begin to see a series of gaps that needs filling one at a time.

Once you identify your gaps, you have a road map to follow.

2. Reveal and disqualify the disempowering beliefs that energize your gap Now that you have identified your gaps you can begin to close them.

At the heart of every gap is an underlying belief or story that is limiting. It's necessary to flush out these disempowering beliefs that may get in your way of closing the gap. Usually, these beliefs are transparent to us, and we aren't aware of how powerfully and pervasively they operate to control our choices. When you shine the light of awareness on these beliefs, they're neutralized, and you’re able to make more empowered choices in closing your gap.

Let’s play with examples. What might be a disempowering belief behind my exercise example? What thoughts or stories might be transparently shaping your inability to stick to an exercise program?

I can’t follow through anything Exercise is hard and I hate it There’s not enough time
Once the limiting thought is revealed, now what?

3. Build a positive case for yourself

After revealing the belief, it's important that you find out what's true about you and your life. You need to inquire to discover if your beliefs are real obstacles or if they’re just a product of old thought patterns. Go back to the exercise example. “I don’t follow through on anything.” Is that true? Can you find examples of where you have followed through on something? If so, make a list that disqualifies this particular belief. This process will help you build a more positive case for your own success, and when you notice yourself slipping into the old thought pattern, you can shift to what's true something more true and much more positive. It’s really a matter of building new thinking habits and practicing them.

When you get to the truth, you feel better. In the example, all the energy tied up in resisting exercise can now go into exercising.

4. Make a plan and take action

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. All the inspiration and awareness will only go so far. Who hasn’t had the experience where you get inspired about something and go off to accomplish it only to lose steam and give up on your dream or project?

That’s where having a solid plan comes in, an action plan. Write out the steps of your plan. Be specific. An important part of designing a successful action plan is building an accountability structure. When you’re accountable to specifics or someone else you have a better chance of following through with what you say you want.

This brings us to the last step.

5. Create a circle of support

We all need support. Often the difference between getting successful results and not, depends on how well supported you are.

I was just working with a client who wanted to introduce a new routine into her life. She questioned her ability to stick to it. When I asked her what in the past helped her stay on track with something new she said, “Telling someone my plan made me more accountable. By speaking my intention out loud made it harder to just blow it off”. Then I asked her whom she would tell about her new plan. She decided to tell her husband and use him for her accountability. You could take it a step further and ask the person to periodically check in with you how you are doing with your commitment. Now, that’s support.

A circle of support can mean a lot of different things. It can be your partner, your best friend, colleagues at work, or your family. Meaningful support can be any or all of these people, the more support you have the better. The only critical distinction is that you are supported for YOUR agenda, not the supporters.

Establishing and calling on your "circle of support" will help you sustain yourself through all of life through challenging times and through great times.

Why not give this strategy a try. Begin to thrive in your life. I’d love to hear your thoughts, feedback and successes. Email me at mailto:helaine@pathofpurpose.com

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

Helaine Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher that loves her life. She works with individuals, and self-employed professionals, who want to thrive in their business while crafting a life that's in absolute alignment with their highest ideals, deepest values and gracefully masters the complexities of modern living. For a solution focused complimentary session visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com

From Surviving to Thriving in A World of Change!

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Wednesday April 30 2008

Say “aloha” to the midweek point.

Well, as of today, 2008 is now officially 1/3rd over, and you know I’m going to ask the questions.

1. Are you on track to fulfill your goals and intentions?
2. If you are, congratulations!
3. If you are not, why not?

There is 2/3rds of this great year left, and now is the time to check in and make the adjustments necessary to bring in all of your intentions on plan.

I’m keenly aware that most of us are inundated with the changes happening all around us, We can, however position ourselves to take advantage of, and prosper from, all that is presented to us.

Today offering from our friend Philip, may be just what you need with your coffee today.

From Surviving to Thriving in A World of Change

by Philip Humbert

Recently I did a training for the local electric utility on the skills and resources for thriving in a world of constant change.

What struck me is that I never thought about a utility having to cope with “too much change!” It’s not like we’re going to stop using electricity or their customers are all going to a competitor! They dam a river that’s been around for a million years, they make electricity, send it through the power grid and bill their customers. How stable is that?!

Yet even the electric utility industry is swamped by change. People come and go. Regulations, standards and new software over-whelm them. And of course, there is competition from other energy sources, so even in the stable world of electric energy, the stress is enormous.

How about in your world?

Constant change both thrills and threatens us. We love the new opportunities, but too often we end up running as fast as we can just to stay even. New competitors, new tools and new skills challenge us every week. I’m typing this on my brand new laptop and I love it! But it’s taken me three days just to configure the stupid thing, and it still doesn’t “look and feel” quite right! Change is the constant in our world.

Here’s the thing: We want to grow and develop! We want new tools, new adventures and new resources. Most of the time, we welcome change with open arms. But, sometimes it’s just too much. We’ve become infatuated with anything “new” whether it enriches our lives or not.

Sometimes the “old” is good enough. Sometimes the familiar is more comfortable and actually more effective. I have a friend who uses an old-fashioned slide-rule partly for the nostalgia, but also because it’s faster than doing calculations on his computer. Sometimes, the old is good.

Here are three suggestions for thriving on change:

1. Maintain lots of “personal bandwidth. That means taking superb care of yourself! People who are happy, healthy and rested simply do better than people who are tired, hungry, stressed or worried. Practice extreme self-care. Maintain your personal bandwidth.

2. Celebrate the Big Picture. Know what’s going on and understand the context of your world. Remember, some people lead, other’s follow, and some just don’t have a clue. Be a leader! And that means seeing the big picture, knowing where your world is going, and being out in front.

3. Invest in Tools. Knowledge and skills matter! The more you know about your industry and what’s happening (and who’s leading), the more options you have. Remember, “leaders are readers.” And I love the quote from Buckminster Fuller: “You can’t learn less.”

Our world is infatuated with anything “new” or “improved” and that’s not going to change. What you can control is your response to change. Master it! Learn skills for evaluating change. Learn to “respond” rather than merely “reacting.” Use change and growth and transformation to your advantage rather than merely trying to hang on and endure! For the rest of 2008, make change (and growth!) your friend.

Use it to your advantage.

Bad Choices, Bad Habits

By Nancy Schimelpfening

Regaining Your Ability to Choose is Key to Breaking Habits

A habit is any action that we have performed so often that it becomes almost an involuntary response. If we consider this habit to be undesirable then we may label it a "bad habit". People spend countless hours and dollars each year attempting to break these bad habits and often do not have any success. Why? Because there is no magic bullet. Change is hard work and there is no short cut to achieving it. The steps a person needs to take, however, can be very simply outlined. To effect a change in habits, one needs to bring the action back into the realm of consciousness and regain the ability to make choices.

What's the Payoff?

The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet!

What's the Trade Off

Next, take a look at the trade off. What is it that you are losing by exercising your habit? This step should be easier. Just think why it is that you consider it a bad habit in the first place. Yelling at your kids is a bad habit because it leaves everybody feeling tense and tears down your children's self-esteem. You are trading a temporary release of tension for the emotional health of your children. Leaving the dishes undone is a bad habit because your kitchen is a smelly mess. To have more Internet time you are trading off having a pleasant living environment. When you look at it that way it doesn't seem like you are making very wise choices, does it? There has to be a better way.

Time to Make a Choice!

Now that you've weighed both sides of the issue--your payoff and your tradeoff--it's time to make a choice. It's no longer an involuntary act because now you know that you are making a choice every time you perform this action. You are choosing what you value more: the payoff or the tradeoff! Each time you start to do whatever the bad habit is now you have to actively choose. Which do you value more? Do you value more the relief you get by yelling at your kids or do you value their emotional well-being? Do you value more having more Internet time or having a pleasant place to live?

Substituting Better Behaviors

The whole reason you formed your habits in the first place is that they filled a need. You had tension that needed relief or you had a desire to surf the Net. As you break the old patterns you still need a way to fulfill these needs. You will be not only making an active choice to not do the old action you will also be making a choice to perform a better, alternative action in its place. Instead of yelling at your kids you might decide to go for a run every time you are feeling tense. Instead of letting dirty dishes pile up you may decide to use paper plates when you are eating alone. What the new habit is that you substitute isn't so important as whether you feel good about the choices you have made. After all, the reason you consider it a bad habit is because it leaves you feeling bad about yourself.

It's Up to You

By now you should realize that the only way to continue with a bad habit for very long is to sink back into denial of why you are doing it in the first place. Each time you begin to resume your old patterns the thought will pass through your mind that you are trading X for Y each time you perform that action. You will be forced to make a choice, whether good for bad, about continuing your habit.

What choices will you make?

The one that makes you feel bad about yourself or the one that makes you feel good?

It's up to you.