Friday, August 29, 2008

The Power of Conformity

A note from for Friday August 29 2008

Welcome to the end of this very fine summer month of August.

It appears that the test in yesterday’s reader really hit the mark with many subscribers. My mailbox flowed all day with some excellent reflections.

We’ve had a ton of fun with the readers this month. The topics have inspired some very considerate feedback and I thank each of you who shared your reflections with us. We learned much from you.

As we wind up the month we discovered a short video piece that fits very well with our contrarian philosophy here at The Wealthy Attitude. This offering, although well aged, is as relevant today as when the experiment was first conducted.

It will make you smile for sure, but on a deeper level, it contains a message that is highly worth paying attention to as we move into yet another round electing our dictators. You’ll see what I mean.

Have an outstanding Labor day weekend break. We’re going to take Monday off and will return with a whole new line up for September starting on Tuesday.

Also, check out how our friends at Daily Insight are wrapping up their month.

Click here for today’s offering: The Power of Conformity

Take care,


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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Kick the Approval Habit

A note from for Thursday August 28 2008

Welcome to the final Thursday of August.

Thanks to all for the feedback from yesterday’s note on freeing ourselves from fear, it seems to have touched some chords.

Today we deliver on the promise of yesterday to present you with a little test that will be certainly worth your time. I also believe it will be of great benefit as you lock in your plans to complete your year on target.

Have fun with it.

Kick the Approval Habit

By Thelma Mariano

Years ago I based my feelings of self-worth on performance and how much I could achieve in school or in business. When I turned to professional writing, my internal rating system focused on the number of sales. But guess what? My need for external approval was a bottomless pit. I could never get enough.

Since then I worked on my personal development and have gradually gone from being self-critical to self-accepting. Many of us look outside ourselves to gain a sense of our own value, through:

  • what others think of us
  • our performance through education, work or sports
  • how we look (e.g. thin, sexy, well-dressed)
  • how wealthy we appear (including status symbols)
  • how we compare to others

Unfortunately, we can lose favor with the people we are trying to impress, our performance may suffer or our looks fade. And even sizeable assets can take a beating on the stock market.

The only true source of approval is found within. The more we accept ourselves, the more easily we will believe praise when it comes from external sources. Self-acceptance means acknowledging our positive qualities as well as our little "quirks," paying attention to our feelings and allowing ourselves to be different. When we truly know and appreciate ourselves, we trust our own judgment and create a life that is meaningful to us. The questionnaire below will help you determine your OWN level of self-acceptance.

How Self-Accepting Are YOU?

  1. I allow myself to make mistakes, realizing that we all learn from failure.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. My value as a person depends greatly on what others think of me.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. Whether I'm celebrating a success or getting through a rough period, I "reward" myself in self-defeating ways, e.g. overeating, drinking too much, or going on a spending spree when I am already in debt.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I have trouble asking others for favours and tend to apologize a lot.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I'd rather keep an unsatisfactory item than return it to the store. In a restaurant I'll eat a meal, even if it isn't what I ordered, rather than return it to the waiter.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I berate myself for saying or doing the wrong thing, calling myself "stupid."

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I would do something against my better judgment rather than risk another person's disapproval.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see only my flaws.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I think of how my life would improve if only I were smarter or better looking.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I graciously accept compliments and praise instead of tossing them aside.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I do things which nurture, strengthen and relax my body.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I am able to accept my vulnerable feelings like sadness, fear or anxiety.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. When I need comfort, I am able to turn to friends or family and let them know how I feel.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I am comfortable expressing my angry feelings.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I am able to assert my needs and wants with family members, colleagues or my partner.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I recognize and value my need for solitude or "quiet time."

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I actively pursue and maintain friendships with people I truly like.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

  1. I balance my life with pleasure and fun, recognizing that I work harder when I am well rested.

a) never or hardly at all, b) sometimes, c) frequently, d) very often

Now add up all your points as shown below:

Question 1: a-1, b-2, c-3, d-4
Questions 2 through 9: a-4, b-3, c-2, d-1
Questions 10 through 18: a-1, b-2, c-3, d-4


1-18 POOR
You rely heavily on other people's opinions and find it hard to assert yourself in your professional or personal life. You are so anxious to please others that you often ignore your own needs and wants. You are also prone to rewarding yourself in self-destructive ways (e.g. overeating). It is important for you to do things that will nurture you - such as reading a book, swimming, walking in nature or just listening to music.

19-36 FAIR
Although you make sure that you honour your commitments to others, you are often self-critical and overly demanding of yourself. You are quick to blame yourself when things go wrong. Learn to be more tolerant of your own mistakes and pay less attention to what others may think. You do manage to find time for what's important in your life, which gives you a feeling of satisfaction.

37-54 GOOD
You know who you are and what you need to be happy and usually are willing to take the time to do something that will fulfill you. You are always trying to improve yourself and surround yourself with supportive friends or family. You see your strengths but may need to learn to work with your weaknesses. For example, you may have a short attention span and work best in spurts. By recognizing this and giving yourself frequent breaks, you will be more productive.

Congratulations! You have a deeply developed sense of self and are self-nurturing. You respect your own feelings as well as those of others and have no qualms about turning to friends or family when you are in need of comfort. You are patient with yourself. If you feel a resistance to doing something, you get to the root of your feelings instead of forcing yourself to go ahead. You lead a healthy, well-balanced life.

Improve your level of self-acceptance
There are a number of ways to do this. Several are listed below:

So often we act according to logic or what we feel we "should" do and ignore our feelings. Journaling will help you get in touch with your emotion and give you a safe place to let things out. By regularly listening to yourself in this way, you will feel freer to be yourself and more self-accepting. (See my article on Journaling - a Tool for Self-discovery.)

Acknowledge and follow your Life Values
Determine your most cherished values and define how you can achieve them in your current life (e.g. autonomy, creativity, fitness, communication, learning, personal growth, love and affection). By taking even the smallest step towards your inner values and goals, you grow in self-acceptance. (Email to obtain the Life Values exercise.)

Search for the gold
We all seem to know our weaknesses or flaws but rarely consider our strengths. Find ten things you admire about yourself, relating to your personality or abilities - e.g. resourceful, articulate, good with children, can make people laugh, sensitive to others' feelings. Write these down and consult the list whenever you feel "down" on yourself.

In our image-conscious society, many of us are obsessed with appearance. An exercise that can help you to accept your physical self: when you look at yourself in the mirror, instead of focusing on what's wrong (large nose, frizzy hair), find three positive things to say about your appearance. For example you have good skin, white teeth or nicely developed calves. If you have a poor self-image, you will at first find this a challenge. Put your observations on paper and watch the list grow!

Remember that someone meeting you for the first time sees the WHOLE person and he or she is unlikely to be focused on your flaws. Also you cannot realize the effect of your dazzling smile or the warmth in your eyes.

Change your self-talk

Pay close attention to your thoughts - observe whenever you are being harsh or critical of yourself. In particular avoid generalizations, e.g. after making a mistake you say to yourself, "I can never get anything right." Replace self-criticism with kindness: ask yourself if you're tired or stressed and what you can do to feel better.

Allow yourself to fail
It's OK to rate your performance in various activities but NOT to base your feelings of self-worth on how well or badly you do. You are an imperfect but lovable human being who needs encouragement, not self-condemnation, to keep going. Give yourself points for effort! Then determine what went wrong and how you can do better next time.

Surround yourself with supportive friends or mentors
Beware those who do not respect you or your values and discourage you from doing what makes you happy. If family members fall into this category, you need to cultivate friends who accept you as you are and give the support you need.

Valuing and honoring your true self will increase your self-confidence. When you are confident in who you are and what you can do, you are more likely to take the steps you need to achieve a fulfilling life.

Thelma Mariano left the corporate workforce to follow her passions as life coach and writer. She is founder of U-Unlimited and runs a Dream Achievers Program in Montreal. As a life coach, she helps people to align their life values with their interests and skills and to connect with their inner guidance. She also encourages and inspires others through her writing. Her personal growth column, Take a Moment, can be found on her website. For more information, visit U-Unlimited.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Outgrow Your Fears and Be Free

A note from for Wednesday August 27 2008

Welcome to the midweek point of this last week of August.

As we continue preparations for the fall season, we’ve been looking at strengthening our positions to take advantage of the marketing opportunity the season provides. For the next couple of days we’ll be offering contributions that will assist everyone regardless of the business, or job, you are in.

I believe you’ll appreciate what our contributors have to share. Oh, and tomorrow has a neat little test for you. It’ll be enlightening.

Our friends over at the Daily Insight have some interesting stuff going today. Check their offering here:

Let’s get started.

Outgrow Your Fears and Be Free
By Guy Finlay

We're often led to act against ourselves by an undetected weakness that goes before us -- trying to pass itself off to others -- as a strength. In effect, we pretend to be something we're not -- a commonly accepted behavior these days. But any time we feign anything, we do so out of fear that without that "persona" to protect us -- to make that impression we want -- we won't get what we want.

This whole way of thinking is secret self-sabotage. It sinks us in our personal and business relationships as surely as a torpedo wrecks the ship it strikes. Learning how to stop this self-sinking is our focus here. As always, the best way to begin any journey of self-discovery is to gather the light we'll need to succeed. Your consideration of the two special insights that follow will start you down the path to a whole new kind of self-command.

1. Any person you feel the need to control or dominate -- so that he or she will treat you as you "think" you should be treated -- will always be in charge of you... and treat you accordingly. Why? Because anyone from whom you want something, psychologically speaking, is always in secret command of you.

2. Any action we take to appear strong before another person is actually read by that person as a weakness. If you doubt this finding, review the past interactions and results of your own relationships. The general rule of thumb is that the more you demand or crave the respect of others, the less likely you are to receive it. If you've ever tried to raise children, you know this is true. So it makes no sense to try and change the way others treat you by learning calculated behaviors or attitude techniques in order to appear in charge. The only thing these clever cover-ups really produce is yet another source of secret inner conflict, which, in turn, only fuels further self-sabotage. Besides, what you're really looking for in your relationships isn't command over others -- but over yourself. So what's the answer?

Stop trying to be strong. Instead, catch yourself about to act from weakness.

Don't be too surprised by this unusual instruction. A brief examination reveals its wisdom.

Following are ten examples of where you may be secretly sabotaging yourself while wrongly assuming you're strengthening your position with others.

1. Fawning before people to win their favor.
2. Expressing contrived concern for someone's well-being.
3. Making small talk to cover up nervousness.
4. Hanging onto someone's every word.
5. Looking for someone's approval.
6. Asking if someone is angry with you.
7. Fishing for a kind word.
8. Trying to impress someone.
9. Gossiping.
10. Explaining yourself to others.

Your awareness of any one of these self-compromising actions within you is the proof that it's some form of fear -- and not you -- that wants to do the explaining, fawning, impressing, blabbing, or whatever that self-sabotaging inner pressure is pushing you to commit. Each time you feel this pressurized urge to give yourself away, silently but solidly refuse to release this pressure by giving into its demands.

It may help you to succeed sooner if you know that fear has no voice unless it tricks you into giving it one. Choosing inner seeing over the wish to be seen by others in a complimentary light stops the cycle of self-sabotage. Who you really are doesn't need protection from any event in life -- regardless of how challenging -- any more than a mountain needs a raincoat to get through a summer storm!

Excerpted from Guy Finley's newest bestseller, "The Essential Laws of Fearless Living," a Red Wheel/Weiser publication.

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Monday, August 25, 2008

It's The Little Things

A note from for Tuesday August 26 2008

Welcome to this very fine Tuesday.

My thanks to those of you who dropped me notes about appreciating Jan Janzen’s reader yesterday. Jan’s reflections on “Are You Ready” certainly touched the chords of many of our readers who consider themselves serious entrepreneurs.

Today we follow that up with yet another of our favorite contributors who never fails to deliver on his promise of offering us great perspectives.

Also, our friends over Daily Insight have some neat stuff going on today. Check it out at:

It's the Little Things by Philip Humbert

In life, the "little things" make all the difference. We like to pretend that at least the "big things" in life, like choosing a spouse or career or teaching our children, are the result of well-thought-out decisions, but it never works that way.

Careers grow out of conversations over coffee or lunch. They happen because we need a job or because a friend has a friend in the business. Marriages grow out of casual flirtations at a party or because a friend set us up. The BIG stuff never starts with a bang; it starts as something small and later we look back in astonishment at what mighty oaks grow from tiny acorns.

Both achievement and failure are like that.

Getting rich almost never requires "big" drama. It starts with the small decision to save a few dollars every week. Most people who end up "doing well" invest in safe, boring mutual funds, let compound interest work in their favor, and over time, it works out well. Unfortunately, going broke is just as easy. Make a few small decisions to buy one of those, and one of that, and pay the bill next month. Over time, there you go.

To gain weight, eat a few extra calories every day. A scoop of ice cream or an extra sandwich should do it. Fortunately, losing weight (for most people) is just as simple: Run or bike or hike a few minutes every day, skip desert, have a salad for lunch and there you go.

The keys to success are almost NEVER dramatic. High achievers might get up a few minutes earlier or make one more phone call every day, but that hardly qualifies as "dramatic," does it? Winners train slightly harder or slightly longer, but not so that anyone would notice.

Unfortunately, the path to mediocrity is just as ordinary. Henry Thoreau observed that "most people live lives of quiet desperation" not because they made big mistakes or fail any great test. They simply make the same small mistakes, over and over, day after day.

Here are some suggestions for small steps that create huge pay-offs over time:

1. Eliminate the little annoyances. Everyone has their personal list, and we tolerate them precisely because they seem so "little", but they rob us of energy, passion and confidence. It if annoys you, fix it.

2. Do one good thing for yourself, every day. Read a good book or watch a video. Soak in the bath, or go for a run, but do something enriching and fulfilling, just for you, every day. It'll make you strong.

3. Take one extra step in the direction you want to go. Rarely does "the good life" require courage or drama, but it does require that we move in the direction we want to go. Make one more sale, write a letter, make a call. Exercise or read or play with the kids. Every day, do one "little thing" that moves you toward success.

4. Invest in your relationships. "We get by with a little help from our friends," and the love of family and friends makes all the difference. And, once again, it's the little things! Give her a call, write him a note. Invite a friend to lunch, keep the friendship alive. These "little things" make life more fun!

Success and failure are the result of small steps, taken over time, one after another. Magnificent mansions are built of small, ordinary bricks, piled one on top of another. Marathons are completed one step at a time. What do you want? What sort of life would you prefer? You can have it, one day at a time. But you must walk in the direction you want to go.

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Sunday, August 24, 2008

Are You Ready?

A note from for Monday August 25 2008

And welcome this start of the last week of August.

Next week we are entering the most vibrant marketing season of the year, and many of you are clearly going to break records. The thing I love about this time of year is that no matter what the business year has been like so far, it can be completely caught up between Labor Day and the Xmas break.

But only if you are ready.

We get the week kicked off on this very subject by turning to an offering by one of our favorite contributors, Ms. Jan Janzen. I think you’ll like what she has to say.

Are You Ready?

By Jan Janzen

The other day while speaking to my dear friend Peter about what was happening in my life, he used a term that caught my attention. He said, "the issue Jan is IJR." I replied with "what the heck is IJR"? I thought maybe I had missed a new technology term while in Mexico. Quite simply, IJR stands for "Is Jan Ready?" The conversation after that question was fascinating, perhaps even relevant to what is going on in your life.

Have you noticed that sometimes you don't get what you want? You may have done your vision board, your God jar, your list of what you want in your life and it isn't showing up. You've read the books, done the workshops, and watched The Secret a dozen times.

However, after my conversation with Peter my latest question for my clients is: Are you ready? Ready for what you want, ready for what you are intending to manifest, ready for all the good things you know you deserve. Are you ready for a larger life, more money, a fabulous relationship, a terrific business, or a new home? Honestly, are you ready for the next step?

I bet that if you really look at what has happened to you over the last five years, life has been a fascinating journey. I know that over five years ago when I started writing this monthly newsletter, life was very different than what it looks like now. However, at the time as I was developing Women Empowering Women in the Vancouver area, I was very clear on my large vision for the empowerment of women. I knew what power women had that just needed focus, leadership and a clear vision to accomplish amazing things in the world. Yet at the same time, as things started to move towards that goal, something didn't feel right. Despite the success at the time, it just wasn't meant to happen. The market was ready, almost frothing at the mouth for it, but Jan wasn't ready. Women Empowering Women died a most untimely death because I didn't have what I needed to have to do what I dreamt of doing.

Lots of things happened in the meantime - a trip to South Africa that changed my life, a book released, another one now written, a serious relationship with an amazing man, and living in Mexico. And perhaps the most relevant to the journey is the very recent promotion to President of Plexus Pink, the network marketing company that is all about the empowerment of women.

What's fascinating is that I noticed the shift happen earlier this spring. It was like something inside of me clicked. Perhaps as I watched women, no more or less gifted or qualified than me, doing some pretty remarkable things. Maybe it was the blossoming of an ardent desire to find my voice on stage again. Perhaps it was a deep calling that powerful leadership is sorely needed in the world today. Something re-ignited that vision of empowering women. I don't know. I just know that one day, as much as I was arguing for a continued hiatus on the beaches of Mexico, the Universe was calling me to greater callings. I argued - more because I thought I should to just be sure there wasn't a mistake - but I also knew that I was ready.

You may or may not understand what I am describing. You may not yet have that longing in your soul to be larger than you currently are. You may still be wondering when that big picture for you is going to show up or if it even will. Perhaps you don't even want it to as you're in the "rest" phase I spoke about last month and you may even be hoping that rest phase doesn't end.

On the other hand, you could know exactly what I am talking about and you are well on your way. If that's the case, I bet there are some interesting emotions coming up for you. Fear, doubt, anxiety, worry and some trepidation along with the excitement and joy are usually a pretty common mix. Perhaps you are still arguing with the Universe about the calling and doubting whether or not you are ready.

Can I offer a few suggestions? If you aren't feeling a huge calling to some massive project or direction, then relax and enjoy where you are right now. If it's peaceful where you're at, then that's perfect. There is nothing wrong or bad with that. Just ask yourself honestly if you are blocking out a message or shutting out the voice.

If you are getting a message but don't know what to do about it as it doesn't appear particularly clear, there may be a critical step missing. Have you said YES to the Universe? Have you agreed and told the Universe that you are ready? Did you finish the enrollment process or do you still doubt, worry and need to be in control?

One of my clients decided recently to make a major shift in her lifestyle. Tired of the large overhead for a life that no longer suited, Paula and her husband put just about everything with a monthly price tag up for sale. Trailer, truck, horse and house all went on the block as they started looking at ways to simplify their life. However, she mentioned that she recently realized that she hadn't really said YES to selling the ranch. There weren't any nibbles on the property either although everything else had moved out of their life quite nicely. Once Paula and her husband got really clear that they were ready to let go of the ranch there was immediate activity. Real estate agents started calling and a flurry of interest appeared out of nowhere. Isn't that interesting? My client, appreciated that she was experiencing an IPR - Is Paula Ready moment?

The Universe doesn't force us to grow. It doesn't push us into situations that ensure our personal development. It doesn't hold us hostage to our Assignment for this lifetime. It merely provides the vehicles, opportunities, people and situations for us to show up. It promises us the support and guidance, direction and love but we have to take the first steps. We have to partner with the Universe - this isn't a dictatorship.

So have you partnered with the Universe or are you holding back? Have you said YES, I will do whatever it takes to be everything I am here to be? Are you willing to be open to a different vehicle or venue than you thought was most likely. Interestingly, three of my long-term clients discovered recently that what I saw for them very clearly more than a year ago has come full circle for the second time. The first time they started down the path I suggested, they pulled back, uncertain and afraid. Of course the Universe gave them the breathing room and continued to support them until they were ready the next time it showed up. Sure enough, all three of them are moving into amazing Assignments that are big, powerful, potentially lucrative and feel right for them at a soul level. Twelve months ago, 18 months ago, 24 months ago, they weren't ready. Today they are, and the Universe and I are celebrating their progress.

How can you get ready if you aren't but want to be? Look at what is really holding you back. Are you afraid of failure? Are you afraid of success? Is it showing up differently than you thought so there is some stubbornness or pride getting in the way? Are you feeling impatient? I know that I personally didn't want the responsibility, the commitment and the workload that goes with this Assignment...until now. Today as I am on a flight to Phoenix to the Home Office of Plexus Pink to spend the next few weeks, I am energized by the Assignment. I am constantly rising to the challenges with passion, feel a calmness despite the stress and am excited about the future. My vision for a powerful network of women is alive and strong. It is simply through a different vehicle than I would ever have thought. But I honestly didn't feel this way just 9 months ago.

So know that the Universe may be ready and you may not be or you may be ready and the Universe is still lining up the parties. Relax and continue to say YES. Do your part and I promise you the Universe will do its part. Just be sure you are doing your part 100% - nothing held back, no reserves for the "just in case it doesn't work" scenario. Give it your all and see what happens.

I've had a chance to watch a few minutes of the Olympics here and there over the last few weeks. There isn't an athlete in Bejiing right now that isn't giving it all they've got. They are living a dream, realizing the fruitage of a tremendous amount of hard work and coming to understand in a very practical way whether or not they were ready for that level of competition.

Right now, ask yourself if you're ready. Put your initial into the IJR question and then be honest with yourself. It may give you some critical answers about your life.

To your outrageous success,


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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Choose Your Attitude

A note from for Thursday August 21 2008

Welcome to this very fine summer Thursday.

If my mail is any indicator there has been a great number of you have booked appointments to be interviewed in 2014. Now that is going to be a real hoot, I can hardly wait.

Clearly by your notes, it is evident that many readers really do understand the power of “choice” and are committed to making sure that their lives are lived by their own design. The quality of our lives are simply dictated by the small choices we make in the present moment.

Today’s offering gives a personal reflection on that wonderful power of “Choice”.

Choose Your Attitude

I just re-read “Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results, by Stephen C. Lundin, Ph.D., Harry Paul, and John Christensen.” You know the book. It’s that annoying one with the fish on the cover that reminds you that “work made fun get’s done.” I was sorry I had waited so long to re-visit this little gem.

You can read the book in about an hour as you fly through the story of Mary Jane Ramirez, a manager at First Guarantee Financial, who gets promoted to a job managing a floor of people who aren’t motivated to do their jobs the right way. After a few frustrating weeks, she stumbles upon Pike Place Fish Market, where the workers are busy having a good time and entertaining customers. A fish place having fun? Yes and that’s where the story gets interesting. I won’t take you through the entire story, but wanted to go over the four main ideas/lessons Mary uncovers in the process of changing her group’s attitude and productivity.

The four things you have to do in order to change your work environment from a drab, uninspiring place to a fun place to work: Choose Your Attitude, Play, Make Their Day, and, Be Present. The first item, choose your attitude, struck me as particularly important and wanted to write to you about the difference this one simple concept can make in your life.

CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE “There is always a choice about the way you do your work even if there is not a choice about the work itself. We can choose the attitude we bring to work.”

That in a nutshell is the idea behind the choosing your own attitude about your job, business, and the work you do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you’re thinking. My job is so boring that I can’t wait to run out the door when it’s quitting time. So if that’s the case with you, why do you stay? I know you have bills to pay and you need the benefits, but why on earth do you stay if you’re miserable? I have no choice in the matter, you say. I don’t buy it. Here’s why…

You Can’t Always Choose Your Job, But… In life, you can’t always choose the job you have in the short-term. Sometimes you get stuck in a job because you need the salary or the benefits and can’t afford to take a risk. I understand this, but that doesn’t mean you can’t choose how you approach your work. You have the ability to dictate how much of yourself you will put into your work and you determine how you will react to certain situations. Work is not always fun, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t accept this and try to make our work environment a better place to work. In short, you choose your attitude.

You can choose to live life to the fullest or you can watch as your life slowly unfolds and you can continue to spend the majority of your life in a state of boredom and deficiency. Your boss isn’t going to force you to change and neither will your coworkers. It’s up to you to decide how you will live your life today and every day from this point on.

And in my opinion, since you’re at work any way, why not try and change things to have more fun or at least stop letting your work control your emotions. In short, stop making your work a prison. Break free from the attitude that’s stopping you from enjoying the place where you spend most of your waking hours. Life is too short not to enjoy.

As you’ll learn in the book Fish!, “choosing your attitude and acting like a victim are mutually exclusive.” You can’t continue to play the part of a victim at work and be the type of action-oriented person who is actively working toward improving their work environment.

One last thing. When you begin to take an active role in your work by choosing to change your attitude from one of passivity to one of empowerment, you’ll begin to notice a change in your personal life as well. You’ll become more passionate and with a little less stress in your life, you’ll be a better, more fun person to be around.

In Summary… It’s up to you whether you want to enjoy your work. At the end of your career or business life you can look back with disdain or you can look back with pride. You can start rewriting your story today and soon your story will change from “those were the worst years of my life” or “I wish I, I could have, I wanted to…” to “Those were the best days of my life and I can’t believe how much I’ve accomplished and how far I’ve come.”

My hope is that after digesting this reader you will reconsider your approach to your work and your job. You might not be in the job of your dreams, but you are in the job of “right now.” While you’re here you might as well enjoy your stay because you don’t know how long your stay will last. Bring your best self to work and bring a renewed sense of passion and vitality.

Choose Your Attitude Wisely!

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Want Answers? Ask the Right Questions

A note from for Wednesday August 20 2008

Welcome to the midweek point.

I have been having some conversations lately about plans I made over five years ago. Some have come to fruition, some haven’t. As I sit and do some analysis on what worked and what didn’t it comes pretty clear that what worked did so because of “holding the space” for it to manifest in my life. What didn’t come to fruition didn’t because I allowed myself to get “taken out” of my intentions. All pretty simple when I look back at it all. Ah, the joy of 20/20 hindsight.

One of the methods I selected to ensure my goals and intention was inspired by a friend in Australia and I’ve added a note from her today that may lead you to employ the same idea for your own plans. Could be fun.

Our friends over at Daily Insight also have a neat offering for the day. Check it out here:

Want Answers? Ask the Right Questions

By Thea Westra

I invite you to be interviewed by me, six years from today. What could be all the tales of adventure, challenge, excitement, fun, courage or accomplishment that you'd have to tell?

I'll provide you a sneak preview of the draft 'interview questions script', giving you plenty of advanced notice and time to prepare:

You have accomplished everything you have set out to be, do and have. What or who was the catalyst for really turning around your current circumstances and had you finally heading in your desired direction? When did you put your intentions to paper? Do you still have a copy of that original? Would you show it to us? What was the first action that you recall as being 'the one' that catapulted you headlong into momentum?

What habits or though patterns and beliefs did you take on board? Which ones did you discard? Who were your mentors, who helped you and who held you accountable? More specifically, with what did you ask them to support you?

You've had to take a few courageous, quantum leaps of faith. What dissolved your fears and caused you to step up to the plate? What provided that level of inspiration and determination? When were you most frightened yet most victorious? Do you remember some really funny moments that you could share with us? Were there 'down' times and if so, what kept you moving ahead toward your vision in those phases?

Do you absolutely love your life? What has changed for you over the past 6 years? When did you know that it was all going to turn out, exactly as you'd envisaged?

What are some of the daily disciplines or habits that you'd put in place? Which activities did you reduce or quit altogether? What were a few of the most important things you did for your success? What other advice or information could you give to anyone interested in creating the kinds of results that you've produced? With the benefit of hindsight, is there anything that you'd now do differently?

Are there people over the past six years who were really 'there' for you? How have you thanked them and remembered them for it?

How do you keep everything in balance? You seem so carefree and alive yet you have so many demanding and major projects on the go. Did you prepare yourself in advance for the adjustments in lifestyle or was it a gradual and exponential stretch-to-fit? How has your family fared in this journey from six years ago through to today? If you were to plan a party to celebrate the last six years, what would be the theme of that party? Who are some of the people you'd invite and where would it be celebrated?

If I was to inform you that you had only five more months of life, what would you do and for what are you most grateful, today? Where did you make the greatest difference and really leave a giant footprint?

Phew, that was such a wonderful and high energy interview. Thank you so much for sharing with us some of your time and for providing all of us with some incredible insights to truly effect some changes in our own lives. I wish you and your family the very best for the next 6 years and beyond.

OK, the rest is now up to you. August 2014 I'll be there to greet you, with microphone in hand. I'm so looking forward to presenting this exclusive, much sought after and inspirational interview. The Wealthy Attitude Daily Reader will have an audience of greater than 10,000 readers at that time - we'll all be here and hanging on your every word.

Thea Westra is the senior thought leader, at her Forward Steps site. She resides in Perth, Australia with her ultra-supportive partner Greg. Thea publishes a monthly ezine (among many other publications and products) at Enjoy her life success blogs at and get personally connected here,

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