The Power of One!

Good day to you and welcome to the weeks end. It's Friday and we wrap up the week with a short video offering.

This Sunday, October 2 marks both the United Nations' International Day of Non-Violence, and the birthday of one of its biggest proponents: Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. Today we pay tribute to the concept and the man by re-introducing you to the "Power of One." We honor the values and practice of the nonviolent civil actions that changed a nation -- and indeed, the world. These folks truly are Full Spectrum Leaders.....in action.

This weekend give some thought to the "Power of One.....You". Are you using your amazing gifts to make this jewel in space a better place for yourself, your loved ones, and just because you can.

See you on Monday.

Have a wonder-filled weekend.

I appreciate you.

~peter~

Your Next Step?

Hello there and welcome to Thursday. I got some very interesting feedback on yesterday's posting About Forgiveness, and it was very clear to me that the subject is one that will inspire amazing personal growth for many.

It was evident to me that here at Full Spectrum Leadership we can serve our community here on this blog by occasionally bringing this delicate subject more to the forefront of considerations about leadership in every aspect of life.

Without even mentioning the word, our friend Catherine hits the the nail directly as she reflects on:

Your Next Step?
by Catherine Ryan Hyde

The problem with a fallback position is that you tend to fall back. ~ Author unknown

There's a little mountain in a state park near my home. It gains about 1,500 feet in two miles. So, four miles round trip. About two hours out of my life, not counting the drive. Even if you wouldn't take this hike today you can probably accept that you could work up to it.

I'd estimate that in the past eight years I've climbed this one little mountain 40 times. I've done lots of other mountains. More dramatic ones. Mt. Katahdin in Maine. The Grand Canyon, rim-to-river and back. Half Dome. The Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. But I'm putting the others aside for this illustration. I'm just concentrating on 40 trips up that one 1,500-foot mountain. The cumulative elevation is the equivalent of hiking from sea level to the top of Mount Everest. Twice.

If you had asked me eight years ago if I could climb as high as two Mount Everests, I would have said, "Of course not. No one can." But I could, and I did. It just took me eight years to do it.

It sometimes seems that we-both as individuals and as a society-don't put enough value on gradual, deliberate progress. In my opinion it's how most genuine human progress is made: very slowly, one step at a time.

When we say we can't do something, we really mean we can't do it right now. Better to do it over the course of eight years than not at all.

When we say we can't change the world, we really mean we can't change it completely. Better to change it a little than not even to try.

We want to leap, or fly, to the top of the mountain, but we almost never can. But we can get there, if we want it badly enough. It just involves thousands, sometimes tens of thousands, of small steps.

Here's something I find helpful: I try to avoid the very human temptation to keep looking up at the summit, gauging its distance. That sets off a torrent of negative internal voices.

Instead I try to return my focus to the current step. The summit is almost always overwhelming. The next step almost never is. So I take the step. Then I take another. And another.

And when I do stop to gauge my progress, I don't look up. I turn around and look behind me. At how high I've already climbed. That sets off a very different internal dialogue. It's amazing how those little steps add up.

Next time you feel overwhelmed by the sheer height of a figurative mountain, try coming back into the moment. Don't look up. Just take the step in front of you, and the one after that, and the one after that. When you do finally turn and look back at where you started, I think you'll be amazed at how high you've climbed.



Catherine Ryan Hyde is the author of 18 published and forthcoming books. Older works include the story collection Earthquake Weather, and the novels Funerals for Horses, Pay it Forward, Electric God, and Walter's Purple Heart.

Pay It Forward was adapted into a major motion picture, chosen by the American Library Association for its Best Books for Young Adults list, and translated into more than 23 languages for distribution in over 30 countries. The mass market paperback was released in October 2000 by Pocket Books and quickly became a national bestseller. It is still in print, and was rereleased in a trade paperback edition in April of 2010.

She is founder and former president (2000-2009) of the Pay It Forward Foundation. Get to know Catherine at: cryanhyde.com

About Forgiveness!

Good day there and welcome to the midweek point. It seems many of my chats of the past few days have needed to have the subject of "forgiveness" injected in to them. In the arena of leadership and personal responsibility, this is a subject that we address often.

Oh yes, we all know that lack of forgiveness is a bit like us taking the poison hoping someone else suffers the consequences. And yet still, many great folks are cobbled by their unwillingness to embrace the truth of great rewards that must come with forgiveness.

Our friend and Full Spectrum Leader, Mark Nepo, reflects on the issue in one of the most profound ways I have ever read. You appreciate what he has to say:

About Forgiveness!
By Mark Nepo

The pain was necessary to know the truth but we don’t have to keep the pain alive to keep the truth alive.

This is what has kept me from forgiveness: the feeling that all I’ve been through will evaporate if I don’t relive it; that if those who hurt me don’t see what they’ve done, my suffering will have been for nothing. In this, the stone I through in the lake knows more that I. Its ripples vanish.

What it really comes down to is the clearness of the heart to stop defining who I am by those who have hurt me and to take up the risk to love myself, to validate my own existence, pain and all, from the center out.

As anyone who has been wronged can attest, in order to keep the fire for justice burning, we need to keep burning our wounds open as perpetual evidence. Living like this, it is impossible to heal. Living like this we become our own version of Prometheus, having our innards eaten daily by some large bird of woundedness.

Forgiveness has deeper rewards that excusing someone for how they have hurt us. The deeper healing comes in the exchange of our resentments for inner freedom. At last, the wound, even if never acknowledged by the other person, can heal, and our life can continue.

It is useful to realize that the word forgive originally meant both to give and receive – to “give for.” In keeping with the original meaning, we can see that the inner reward for forgiveness is the exchange of life, the give and take between our soul and the Universe.

It is hard to comprehend how this works, yet the mystery of true forgiveness waits in letting go of our ledgers of injustice and retribution in order to regain the feeling in our heart. We can only hope to begin this exchange today, now, by forgiving what is broken in each other and imagining through love how these holy pieces go together.

Mark Nepo is a poet and philosopher who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over thirty years. A New York Times #1 bestselling author, he has published twelve books and recorded six audio projects. Recent work includes a new book of teaching stories, As Far As the Heart Can See, (HCI Books, audio book by Simon & Schuster, Sept 2011), Finding Inner Courage (Conari, 2011, originally published as Facing the Lion, Being the Lion, 2007), audio books of The Book of Awakening and Finding Inner Courage (CD Box Sets, Simon & Schuster, 2011), and Staying Awake (CD Box Set, Sounds True, February 2012). His most recent book of poetry is Surviving Has Made Me Crazy (CavanKerry Press, 2007). As a cancer survivor, Mark devotes his writing and teaching to the journey of inner transformation and the life of relationship. You can get to know him better at: http://www.marknepo.com

Who Are You Today?

by Roslyn Franken

Don’t let your ‘not now’ become your ‘never’.
~ Roslyn Franken

Let go of your past challenges. Accept who you are today. Look forward to each new tomorrow with a renewed sense of hope, faith and enthusiasm. Your past challenges do not dictate your future. If you keep looking in the rearview mirror of life, you will miss out on all the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead. Decide where you want to go, who you want to be and follow the path to take you there.

If the path is unclear, just take the first step and know that the next step will present itself. It may not be what you planned or expected, but trust that it will be what is best.

Accepting who you are today means forgiving yourself for past mistakes and imperfections. It is only when you can accept the reality of your today that you can move forward to a better tomorrow. Renewing your hope, faith and enthusiasm daily is what makes life worth living.

Be careful not to constantly do things to please others at the expense of getting your own needs, wants and desires met. Your needs, wants and desires are no less and no more important than anyone else's. This means knowing what is truly important to you and learning to say 'no' to others.

Know your values and know your boundaries. Learn to communicate them. People won't know your boundaries and where you stand if you don't make these clear.

It's easy to get so caught up in our never-ending To-Do lists and problems to solve that we neglect the things that are most important to us such as our health, relationships and overall sense of well-being. Make your health, relationships and well-being top priorities in your life.

Being kind to others is noble and wonderful. So is being kind to yourself. Try it sometime and you'll see. It feels a lot better than the constant judgment, criticism and self-abuse we do to ourselves. It's time to leave that self-critic behind and make room for a kinder and gentler inner voice.

Life can change on a dime. If there's something you want to do in your life, don't keep putting it off. You may say 'not now' and perhaps you're right, it's not the ideal time. But the ideal time may never come. As Martin Luther said, 'How soon not now becomes never'.

Whether you want to lose weight and get in shape, quit smoking, or climb Mount Everest, you can put off the things you want for only so long. Don't let YOUR 'not now' become YOUR 'never'.

She beat cancer at 29. At 39 she won her battles with food, weight and lifestyle challenges. She is Roslyn Franken, author of The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living. Roslyn engages, educates and enlightens others with her A List principles through her motivational speaking and weight loss coaching programs. She is also host of the How to Thrive After 35 Radio Show and teleseminar series and co-author of Death Can Wait: Stories from Cancer Survivors.
Roslyn is happily married to Elliott Smith, a professional magician, and enjoys portraiture, the healing arts, cooking and song writing. Visit Roslyn at: roslynfranken.com

Our Choices!

by Bevin Lynch

If I'm always doing the best I can, I'm bringing my best self to the very next moment. And that's all anyone can ask for.

Life is a series of choices. Choose to be happy. Choose to live your dream. Choose to live in the present moment. Choose to love with all your heart.

But what happens when the choice seems impossible? What happens when you can't figure out what is the "right" answer?

When I was 14, I faced a choice that seemed so difficult that I tore myself apart trying to figure out what was the right way to go. While the decision itself seems fairly trivial looking back, the wisdom that came out of it has stayed with me every day.

After three hours of debating with my dad about what to do, he said to me, "You make the best decision you can with the information you have at hand. If in six months or six weeks or six days you make a different decision, it's not that today's decision was wrong. You simply have more information and you are making the best decision you can with the information you have at the time."

These simple sentences have erased regret from my life. I know that I wouldn't be where I am today without the decisions that I have made along the way.

Several years later I went to visit my dad in the hospital, where he was undergoing chemo for advanced lung cancer. While he was taking a nap I wrote him a letter, talking about the most important conversations we'd had and the memories that I cherished. As I left, I decided to hand it to him, rather than mail it from home in Chicago. The next day he called to say how much that letter meant to him.

That was the last time I spoke to him. He passed away early the next day. My decision to live in the present moment ensured that I have no doubt my dad knew exactly how much I loved him.

Within the past few years, I've spent much of my time studying happiness and well-being, discovering more and more that happiness is a choice. Well-being and happiness are innate, they are our natural states.

I've found that the less I do to chase after these states, the more I rest in them; the more that they support and take care of me, rather than the other way around. I've learned that there is no "Magic Tuesday" when everything falls into place and there are no more bumps in the road.

The only moment we have any impact or effect on is the moment we are currently in and that is where we must make our decisions from.

In Don Miguel Ruiz's book The Four Agreements, his fourth agreement is "Always Do Your Best." I love the caveat to this - Always do your best... and no more.

At any moment in our lives, we are doing the best that we can. We are making the best decision we can, with the information we have at hand. And, knowing that there is no moment of perfection that we are working towards, every moment is perfect just as it is.

Bevin is the creator of The Well-Being Expo, speaker, business and life coach and host of Creating The Life You Love to Live Radio show. Visit Bevin at: BevinLynch.com

Authenticity: Are you sometimes afraid to be yourself?

Shared by Full Spectrum Leader Margie Warrell

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you everybody but yourself means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight – and to never stop.” – e.e. cummings

Are you hiding behind a mask?

If you didn’t need to prove yourself to anyone nor care whether people “approved” of you, how would you be different?

Daniel Goleman’s research in Emotional Intelligence found that we human beings are wired for connection. We not only want to belong, we need to belong, and so we are at our best when we feel connected to those around us. We like to be appreciated, enjoy admiration and crave to feel significant in the hearts and minds of those around us. Too often though, in our quest to feel significant, we forfeit expressing our individuality, limit our vulnerability and don a mask intended to garner greater admiration and ward off the possibility of rejection. In the process we lose touch with what makes us special, disconnect from authenticity and give up what makes us someone who others feel they can really connect to.

As we let go striving for approval and courageously embrace our vulnerability, we grow into the uniquely one-of-a-kind person we really are.

Social psychologists have found that two out of three people are dramatically out of touch with how they see themselves compared to how others see them. The irony being that people who strive the hardest to be liked or to impress others often have just the opposite effect on those around them. Most of us have an inbuilt “realness” detector that starts going off when we find ourselves in the company of someone who seems to lack it (sometimes called a “B.S. Detector”). We can sniff out insincerity, inauthenticity, and practiced charm a mile away. Our innate ability to sense incongruence extends beyond anything we can really explain. We just know that the person we are with is hiding some aspect of who they are, limiting our desire and/or ability to develop a stronger relationship with them. That is of course that we aren’t totally preoccupied with our own masquerade… which can so easily happen. I know how easy it can happen because I know how often I catch myself focused more on “What will people think?” instead of “What feels true?”

The irony is that the less we strive to have people to like us, the more they actually do. As we let go striving to get the approval and learn to sit with our vulnerability, we grow into the person we really are. In a world that has so much focus on the superficial, people crave authenticity, yearn for ‘realness,’ and can’t help but find themselves seeking the company of those who are comfortable in their own skin. And if you are someone who is in a position of leadership, authenticity makes you so much more approachable, trusted and influential. People trust people who can share their struggles, their doubts, their fears, their hopes and their heartaches; people who don’t need to prove their superiority, their success or their significance in any way.

“To be oneself is more admirable that the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity” – Irving Wallace

So why is it that so many people find it difficult to simply be who they are? As I wrote in my book Find Your Courage (in the chapter titled “The Courage To Be Yourself”), in a world that pressures for conformity, one of the greatest challenges we all face is to be ourselves. Because when all we do is try to fit in, we negate the difference our difference makes. When all we do is try to conform, all we have to offer is conformity. And when all we do is try to impress, we tend to repel instead. The fact is that if you have an unquenchable need to impress others in order to feel good about yourself, you will never be able to impress them enough. Give up having your sense of your own worth be contingent on the worth others place on you. Who you are is far more than any person’s opinion.

In Zen Buddhism they speak of living with one’s “original face.” Buddhists describe our “original face” as being relaxed, without tension, free of pretension, devoid of masks, or airs and graces of superficiality. And so your “original face” is the one that shines through when you find your courage to embrace the one-of-a-kind imperfect human being that you are, however vulnerable that makes you feel. As Brene Brown wrote in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection,” “ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.”

Refusing to conform isn’t always easy. We have to accept that some people may not like us. Some may criticize us. And some may reject us outright. Full self-expression demands vulnerability. But it’s through vulnerability that we connect most deeply. Whether as leaders or lovers or strugglers just hoping to know more joy and connect more deeply, there is so much to gain by dropping the mask, letting go our fear of “not being good enough,” and accepting that who we are is always “good enough.” Always.

So I would like you to ask yourself these two questions and reflect on the answer that comes back to you:

i) If I were to let go of the need to prove my worthiness and my fear of not being “good enough,” how would I show up differently in the world?

ii) What mask am I most afraid to put down? Why?

iii) How has wearing this mask impacted my life?

Mother Teresa, a woman respected the world over for her courage and total lack of pretension, once said, “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.” Or to quote from a slightly more quirky character, Dr. Seuss: Be who you are. Because those who mind don’t matter. And those who matter don’t mind.

Stay real. The world needs more people with the courage to be who they are.



An intrepid Australian, Margie Warrell is a bestselling author, master certified coach, media personality and dynamic speaker who empowers people globally to live more courageous lives.

The bestselling author of Find Your Courage (McGraw-Hill), Warrell has learned a lot about courage since her childhood growing up as one of seven children on a farm in rural Australia, to becoming an emerging leader in the human potential movement. Visit her at: http://margiewarrell.com

Say Something Nice

Yes, it's Friday, the week winds up, and the promise of a late summer weekend lies before us.

As is our usual process we conclude the week with a short video, and as you go into your weekend I asking you to consider the message in today's offering.

In New York City a few folks from Improv Everywhere constructed a custom wooden lectern with a megaphone holster and an attached sign that read: "Say Something Nice." The lectern was placed in public spaces around New York and then left alone. What would happen when passerbys were given the opportunity to amplify their voices to "say something nice"?

Watch and find out, and remember to: Say Something Nice

Have a terrific weekend.

See you on Monday.

I appreciate you.

~peter~

The Secrets of Time

Shared by Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman

"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator." --Robert Orben

The great business philosopher, Jim Rohn observed, "Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it, and spend it rather than invest it." That's sad ... because you don't get a second chance to use it. Your first shot is your last one. You get one crack - and one crack only - at using any given period of time. And if you screw it up, too bad. There are no do-overs.

By contrast, I've noticed that the happiest people and the most successful are almost always very skilled in the way they invest their time. Oh sure, they get the same amount of time as anyone else, 24 hours a day, and not a minute more. But you can be certain that the way they think about time - and the way they allocate time - is very different than the way negative, demotivated people approach it.

To make sure you're investing your time wisely, there are 4 things you've got to do...

1. Don't spend too much time in the past.
That would be about as foolish as trying to drive a car that had a rear-view mirror that was bigger than the windshield. You would probably crash. And the same goes for time. If you live your life in the past, you're going to crash the present. You're going to ruin it.

The past only serves two purposes. It provides lessons and preserves memories. So pick up the lessons from your past. Reflect on your good memories once in a while. And then get on with the present. As author Ida Scott Taylor wrote in the early 1900's, "One day at a time -- this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

2. Spend the "right" amount of time on the future.
The key is the "right" amount of time. If you spend too little time, you're living your life on auto-pilot. You're living your life without purpose and goals ... and that will never lead to happiness or success. If you spend too much time on the future, dreaming about how good life could be ... if only certain things would happen ... you once again miss the present.

You're living your life in a fantasy world, rather than working on making it happen. Of course, I know the "right" amount of time may be somewhat of a dilemma. The comedian Jerry Seinfeld commented on that. He said, "I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication ... Not easy. There's an entire wall of products that you need. You stand there going, 'Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting ... Which is more important, the present or the future?'"

Well, Jerry, I can answer that for you. The present is more important ... because what you do in the present determines your future. The Chinese knew that hundreds of years ago. As stated in one of their ancient proverbs, "If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future, look into your present actions."

3. Focus on the present.
As I tell my audiences, "Wherever you are, be there!" Don't fret about work when you're at home, and don't worry about the kids when you're at work. Learn to be totally present.

The great conductor Arturo Toscanini mastered the skill. On his 80th birthday, someone asked his son Walter what his father ranked as his most important achievement. The son replied, "For him there can be no such thing. Whatever he happens to be doing at the moment is the biggest thing in his life -- whether it is conducting a symphony or peeling an orange."

Indeed, learning to live in the "now" may be critical to your success. As change expert Price Pritchett puts it, "Fast growth requires ... a strong sense of 'now-ness.'" You have to maximize the value of the moment.

As Pritchett goes on to say, "Pay attention. Consciously watch how you're spending the fleeting now, and consider the payback you'll get. Are you making a good investment of your hours and minutes? Or are you wasting these scarce resources ... spending time on stuff that offers little return ... fumbling the opportunity for fast growth?"

You need to show great respect for the now. If you fill it with right behaviors, you'll be rewarded with fast results. And finally,

4. Adopt the mind set of living in the present.
Now I know that's easier said than done ... that we all need to live in the present. But it can be done, if you reflect on a few slogans throughout your day. In fact, you can even write them down, put them on a card, and read the card three or four times a day.

And thanks to the millions of people who have gone through 12-step programs or other recovery programs, these slogans have been time tested and proven to work. So give them a try. They'll keep you focused on the present.

• Easy does it.
• First things first.
• How important is it?
• Just for today.
• Keep it simple.
• Keep an open mind.
• Let go and let God.
• Let it begin with me.
• Listen and learn.
• Live and let live.
• One day at a time.
• Progress not perfection.

Yes, the more you reflect on these slogans, the easier it will be for you to live your life to the fullest ... in the present. And if you want to get real technical about it, the present is the only time you have anyway.

As mentioned in "The 500 Year Delta" by Jim Taylor and Watts Wacker, "Once upon a time, you could live in three tenses -- the past, the present, and the future. There was a time to consult history; there was a time to plan to what lay ahead. The present tense was spent managing the transfer of the past into the future and imagining what that future might be."

They continue, "Today, under the pressure of accelerating change, the past and future have been fused into a single tense: the present. The present is real time and real time is the only time."

Action:
Which of the living-in-the-present slogans appeals to you the most? Pick one. And then repeat that slogan to yourself several times a day for at least 30 days in a row.



As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman has taught more than one million people in 48 states and 22 countries how to keep a positive attitude on and off the job. In his book, PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success, Dr. Zimmerman outlines the exact steps you must take to get the results you want in any situation. Go to Alan's site.

Servant Leadership

Good day and welcome to Friday. As is our practice, we conclude the week with a short video offering.

This week I was caused to re-visit my 1977 copy of Robert Greenleaf's amazing book "Servant Leadership" as I am preparing a talk for an upcoming seminar. As I was reviewing this wonderful man's seminal work, I was reminded of the outstanding characteristics of the people that it is my pleasure to serve.

As you go into this holiday weekend I feel it is appropriate, and important, that you take a look at what is being shared in this short video. Assess for yourself how you "lead", and as you enter the Fall season, consider the adjustments you need to make to ensure that you are having the impact you desire.

Let me know your thought's about.

Servant Leadership.

Have a wonder-filled holiday weekend.

See you on Tuesday.

I appreciate you.

~peter~

How are you choosing?

As asked by Jacob Roig

Live at least 5 minutes of every day as if it were your last. ~ Jacob Roig

If today were my last day on Earth and I could share 500 words of brilliance with the world, here are the important things I'd want to pass along to others...

Never let anyone or anything stand in your way of what you really want! Brilliant words, but the meaning and lesson behind it made the difference to me in changing my life.

How many times have we settled for the first No? How many times has someone said you cannot and you accepted that answer? How many times have you not done what you wanted or gotten what you wanted because of money? If you are like me, many, many times.

I am inspired by the magic and the ability of setting an intention, finding an obstacle for it helps me realize I have a choice, to let this obstacle stand in my way or to move around the obstacle and get what I want.

For me "I cannot afford it right now" was my big one, other times it was someone who was between me and what I wanted, or lastly it was maybe "I can't do it" or "I am not worthy". In every case I wanted something and did not realize how easily I could be convinced I could not attain or have it. I was usually the one saying I could not have it.

I would tell you this today: to get what you want, to go where you want to go in your life, you must be willing to overcome yourself and the inner voice that says No, But, What if.

What I mean by that is that you never let a No be your stop. If you want something and you say inside you want it but outside you say the time is not right or I cannot afford it right now. It is not about the money! It is about you saying you do not have it and believing that it is the preventer of all you want.

Yes, you will need to pay for it but how do you know you cannot have it or do it? Have you asked the supplier of the product, service or thing if there is a way to work something out? Have you stated out loud what you wanted?

You see, sometimes by stating out loud that I want this, I want this to happen the way to get it presents itself... More often than not, it happens, you get what you want.

We choose everything. We choose to move forward, we choose to settle, we choose to grow, we choose to stay comfortable, we choose to risk or we choose to say this is the best it will be for me.

I choose to acknowledge the bad but choose what's good about it. I choose to see the lessons I am supposed to learn, not to see I made a mistake. I choose to see the beauty in everyone. I choose to live 5 minutes or more of every day as if it were my last. I choose to be aware of my choices. How are you choosing? How do you choose your day, your week, and your life?

Jacob is a successful entrepreneur, the owner of 5 businesses, a prolific writer of poetry, and a certified Mars Venus Business Success Coach.