Posted by Oscar Bruce
As the author of personal development publications distributed world wide, I am frequently asked why certain people seem to succeed at practically everything they attempt, while others fail no matter how hard they try. My response is "I definitely can tell you, but you're really not going to like the answer." But here it is.
Most people spend 97% of their time with the wrong people. This fact means your best friend could very well be your worst enemy. It's here that discrimination as a process is the essential element that will create success or disappoint.
What the ear hears, the mouth repeats. In short, you absorb the language of the people with whom you frequently associate. If the language is mundane, and loaded with meaningless clichés and useless figures of speech, soon that is the way you will speak. And, it's a well known fact that people judge you by the way you speak.
Your mind is like a giant sponge that soaks up everything it hears. Many words that are not favorable to your well being and personal success take residence there. Through a psychological process I call: "Psycho-Semantics," they impose a detrimental influence on your imagination and your vision. Those words will direct your outlook and expectations.
Out there is a beautiful world and beautiful people everywhere. Why clutter it with relationships that don't belong in your life? It's an easy life if you don't let others drag you down. You therefore must break ranks from ordinary people whose language you do not want to become your way of speaking. Treat them like you would a cancer: early detection and swift removal.
Unless you discriminate deliberately and savagely, the people around you will engage in conversation about the trivia of their latest ailment, their relationship problems, and gossip in the form of "I said, and then, she said." Even worse, a generous sprinkling of "isn't it awful" and "pity poor me." If all this sounds all too familiar, you must learn to initiate new conversation topics - topics that cause listeners to perceive you as intelligent and insightful.
Albert Einstein is quoted as follows. "The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting a different outcome." In my book "Winning Words Winning Ways" I make the salient point, "Your future will be exactly like your past unless you make major changes."
Now that we've covered the primary liability that holds most people back, I'm going to share the powerful dynamic that will provide all the best that life has to offer.
Since the mind and life abhor a vacuum, you will need new and better friends. This will require new, personal communication skills to make you appealing in better circles. You will need new words and phrases to make your conversation sizzle. That is upgrading the way you verbalize your ideas and feelings.
Why are new communications skills and new conversation topic important? Big things happen when you say the little things right. And, you'd be surprised at what you can get when you ask for it the right way. The power superior verbal skills will give you has absolutely no limit.
You must become a word specialist, a person who paints beautiful pictures with an invisible brush of magical words, a skilled verbal artist whose conversation is both persuasive and compelling. That draws people to you. They compete to be with you.
You don't see eagles hanging out with sparrows.
On the other hand, through the process of Psycho-Semantics there are also certain words and phrases that will be uplifting and tend to expand the mind's perception and vision. Select words and phrases that help the mind to see opportunities previously overlooked.
You don't see eagles hanging out with sparrows do you? After all, gutter language wouldn't work well in the office of your company's C.E.O. "If you want to hang with the natives, you'd better speak the native tongue. Within that simple sentence lies the reason that "discrimination is the first law of success."
Chose your friends and associate carefully.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Posted by Oscar Bruce