Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Monday May 11 2008

Welcome to another shiny new week.

I hope that Mother’s Day for you was an outstanding day.

I saw a lot of folks around and about in various stages of preparation for celebrating the one very important person without whom this note would not be being read. The one thing that stuck out most was, that they all looked very happy indeed to be doing what they were doing.

It got me thinking a fair bit about the whole subject of “happiness”. So, I decided to dedicate this week to that subject.

I got to chatting with our buddy Philip Humbert, and he has provided us with a couple of readers that reflect his views on the issue. Yes, as an American, Philip focuses on research from the U.S. Frankly though his sentiments serve every one of us.

You’ll enjoy his offerings today and tomorrow.

Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness

by Philip Humbert

This week I read about a huge survey (over 100,000 participants) that said only 47% of Americans describe themselves as truly "happy." This is the biggest survey ever on the topic, and it amazes me that more than half of us (think of that!) are not fulfilled, satisfied or "happy" with our lives. How can that be?

In the past couple of centuries, we've done well on two of the three freedoms proclaimed in our Declaration of Independence. We've more than doubled life expectancy. Progress in medicine, sanitation, and safety give us more years than ever before. And we certainly have more liberty!

We can say, think, travel, learn, buy, do or experience more variety than ever before. Even our parents never dreamed of the freedoms we take for granted every day.

And yet when asked closely about our lives, we are no happier (and perhaps not as happy) as past generations. Headlines proclaim that we are anxious, stressed, cranky or depressed. We take more pills than any people in history. We worry. We feel less safe than our ancestors who faced famine, war and pestilence. What's going on? How can this be and what can we do about it?

Partly, I don't think we actively seek "happiness" as much as we might. We are so busy pursuing things and taking care of business that we forget to enjoy our lives. Sometimes I'm not sure we even expect to be happy! In part, I blame our work ethic for this. We are so focused on a better tomorrow that we forget the wonders of today.

I'd like to propose that happiness be considered a kind of skill. There are keys or steps to increasing happiness, and they can be learned. Here are five suggestions:

1. Happiness Requires Safety. When Abraham Maslow introduced his "Hierarchy" in 1947 he began with security. I suspect happiness begins with locking the doors at night, with some money in the bank, with a belief that we and our loved ones are safe. Yes, we could be hit by a bus and we lost Cody suddenly last week, but to increase your level of happiness, take security seriously. Take care of your environment. Nurture a sense of personal control. Save money and invest wisely. For most of us, basic safety is attainable. Take care of yourself and your loved ones.

2. Happiness Requires Community. People are happier when they have caring, loving relationships. Spend time with family and friends. Invest in your neighbors and co-workers. Remember that we are "tribal" creatures and we need our friends. Whether it's an extended family, your golfing buddies or girlfriends, nurture your community. As I wrote recently, I love the Beatles' observation that we "get by with a little help from our friends." Happiness is found in community.

3. Happiness Requires Contribution. This means doing work that gives you fulfillment and satisfaction. Happy people make a difference! Most of us do our work through our jobs, but it can also come from volunteering or in some other way. You have talent and ability! Share it. Make a positive impact in your world. Contribute. It will make you happy.

4. Happiness Requires Fun. Happy people have fun! Whether it's playing catch, making love, watching a movie or flying a kite, we don't laugh as much as we could. We take our fun too seriously. Too often, we define "fun" as flying to Vegas or hosting an elaborate party. Why not grill hot-dogs and be done with it? Pillow fights are fun. Watching a sunset or washing the dog can be fun. I like Jimmy Buffet's observation that "having fun is about as good a hobby as there is."

5. Happiness Requires the X-Factor. We each find happiness in our own ways. For some, it's the excitement of discovery. Others are happiest climbing mountains. Franklin Roosevelt enjoyed his stamp collection.

Whatever makes you happy, do more of it.

Somewhere in Time!

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Friday may 9 2008

Welcome to the week’s end.

In a couple of days the world will be celebrating Mother’s Day. I poured through my files to find a video that I felt adequately expressed what should be portrayed on that special day.

The more I viewed pieces that certainly fit the bill, the more I was drawn back to movies and music that most impacted me personally.

One of my most favorite pieces of music is Rachmaninov’s “Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini”. This amazing work was interpreted by John Mills for the movie “Somewhere in Time” in which I have a very small and personal interest.

To celebrate Mother’s day, I present to you some highlights from the movie, and the music that makes it so very special.

To all you special “Mothers”, I send my love.

You’ll see it here: Somewhere in Time

See you on Monday.

How to Avoid Making a Decision!

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Thursday May 8 2008

Say a big “aloha” to Thursday.

I just don’t know what was happening yesterday. It seems the decision making had “left the building”. Almost every single person I had to deal with had seemingly forgotten that “power” goes to the decisive.

I learned for my grandfather many years ago, that if we wait until all the ducks get in a row before we make a decision, it never happens. What we have to do is, make a decision, and then all the ducks get in a row. Seems pretty clear to me.

So, I thought I’d send out a guide showing how to avoid making a decision. I know you’ll all be sending this one around.

How to Avoid Making a Decision!

● Fail to recognize the need to make one.

● Resist change (seek security in sameness).

● Fail to adequately weigh the potential positive benefits.

● Create distractions (or situational chaos).

● Create conflict (or interpersonal chaos).

● Get lost in detail (compulsive control).

● Get lost in routine (structural control).

● Dump responsibility on others (actively shift the locus of control).

● Wait for permission (passively shift the locus of control).

● Hide in depression, i.e., “nothing will work” (deny locus of control).

● Escape into fantasy (avoid the limits of earthly existence).

● Wait for the perfect time (deny the shortness of life).

● Wait to perfect yourself (obsess on winning approval).

● Wait for all the possible information and alternatives to be considered.

● Deny your capacity to handle the consequences and demands of your decision (deny your abilities).

Looking Forward To A Brand New Day

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Wednesday May 6 2008

Welcome to the midweek point.

Thank you all who wrote yesterday reflecting on adjusting your practices to make sure you reach your goals and intentions for 2008. Good for you folks.

We’ll continue the theme today with an offering that causes us to look at how we choose to function each and every day.

Looking Forward To A Brand New Day

How would you like to wake up and be able to shout, “Fantastic!”

Here is the ticket. You can do it. It is a matter of choice.

Every day, thousands of people choose to wake up to “another dull day.” Are you one of them? Or are you one of the few who looks forward to waking up on a brand new day?

Your choice will determine how your whole day will run. Under this circumstance, whichever you choose will make your day. Your choice will rebound to you until it is bedtime, and it might even go beyond.

In this case, wouldn’t it be logical and wise to choose every day as a day that you’d look forward to? Upon waking up, imagine that this is the day when you will welcome a guest you can’t wait to see and talk to.

How would you react if I tell you to treat each day as the day when you get to meet the world’s wealthiest person and learn all his secrets?

How about if this is the day you will meet a long lost friend, or partner whom you expect to be your soul mate?

How about if this is the date when you get to spend the whole day with somebody whom you admire in the whole wide world? Perhaps, meet Oprah, the Pope, Donald Trump, Madonna, Bill Gates, pick your choice!

Just the mere thought sounds exciting, isn’t it? That is just for starters. Here are other suggestions to keep you looking forward to a brand new day:

1. Relax and get a good night’s sleep. You cannot expect to have sun shiny day if you wake up grouchy, feeling tired, and beat as though you worked overtime without pay.

2. Ensure that you are physically comfortable. Be kind to yourself. This is a lifetime job for you. Proper diet and exercise are the basics and these are non-negotiable. Aspire for the ideal weight. Avoid lugging around extra pounds that rob you of well-rested back and feet.

3. Aspire for balance. Make the day challenging and enjoyable for yourself. Make your goals for the day achievable. Never write impossible goals. Do not spoil yourself or be comfortable with an unproductive day. Aim for fulfillment at the end of the day. Mini doses of fulfillment build confidence.

4. Somewhere along the day, there may be a task or two that you hate to do which forces you to procrastinate. Do not let these tasks ruin your day. Look at the tasks on a positive angle. Concentrate on the benefits you will enjoy if you complete these tasks early enough.

As a writer, there are days when I am not in the right mood to finish my articles. What motivates me is the thought of enjoying plenty of “play time” that I can spend after finishing several articles. Play times are spent with my loved ones, going to the movies, browsing through rows and rows of books, and so on.

5. Seek outside help when necessary. When a task is alien to you, it would be advisable to ask or hire someone familiar with it. This saves you time and eliminates frustration.

Knowing that you have friends whom you can rely on makes you look forward to another cheerful day.

When the day is through, savor the satisfaction of having accomplished the goals set for the day. Celebrate it by rewarding yourself with a nice modest dinner and a good night’s rest.

Before you doze off to slumber land, consider whom you would like to meet the following day and the things you would be doing for the next day. This sure beats dullness and boredom, and makes you look forward to a better day!

Goal Setting For Success!

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Tuesday May 6 2008

Welcome to this fine Tuesday.

As I mentioned yesterday, and as we have just entered the final 2/3rds of 2008, I felt it would be appropriate to focus our attention on “goal-setting”, and manifestation for this week.

It’s often easy to drop the disciplines, especially if we feel that we are not on schedule with what we set “in stone” at the start of the year. However, with 2/3rds of the year left, it is absolutely possible to get everything on track.

Today’s offering is worth spending some time on.

Goal Setting For Success

Goal setting is one technique that directs your subconscious and conscious decisions to succeed. Goal setting strengthens your motivation to attain your business or personal goals. In general, this technique emerged from numerous practical experiences as well as psychology research.

Goal setting helps you decide or prioritize your desires. By knowing exactly what you desire to accomplish, you will have a better focus and concentrate your efforts. Furthermore, proper setting of goals can be extremely motivating. As it becomes a habit, you will discover that your self-esteem is turbo-charged.

Actually, people set goals when they plan what they want to achieve for the day, week or month. These include simple goals like clean the house, do the laundry, finish homework, etc. You make a decision on what you want to do, then discover what is needed to accomplish your goal. From there, you move into complex goals leading to your future.

Here are some goal setting guidelines:

1. Be accurate. You need to set an accurate goal and indicate specific time frame and resources required. Having measurable goals helps in measuring levels of achievement. Doing this will enable you to discover exactly when the goal has been achieved. Furthermore, this will motivate you on setting another goal.

2. Write down your goals. This ties them together and provides reinforcement.

3. Set only goals that are realistic. Take note that you only want to set achievable goals. Disappointment sets in if you set a very high goal and fail to reach it.

4. Set priorities. If you have numerous goals, then you need to number them according to importance. This will help you from feeling overwhelmed, direct your concentration to the most significant ones, and achieve goals one by one.

5. Keep goals manageable. Work on achievable and small goals. If your goal is too big, then it may appear daunting and difficult to achieve. Small and incremental goals provide more reward opportunities. Derive smaller goals from huge ones.

6. Set performance-type goals rather than outcome goals. Set goals wherein you have complete control of the situation.

It is very frustrating to be in situations not within your control. These include bad business surroundings, bad weather, poor judgments, or injury.

When you establish goals based on your personal capability, you can maintain control over your achievement.

7. Never set “low” goals. As it is vital not to establish unrealistic goals, also never set your goals “too low”.

People are inclined to set easy goals because they often fear failure. You must achieve balance in setting your goals. It should not be too low that it would not present a challenge or too high that it becomes unreachable.

Remember this: Goal setting is an important element in achieving success. Also, flexibility and persistence are needed in setting your goals.

When faced with unexpected problems and difficulties, use your determination and persistence to stick with your goals. However, you should also become flexible with your activities and objectives. If your strategies do not work, then try another means and keep on trying until you discover one that really works for you!

Tools to Help You Focus and Concentrate on Your Goal

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for Monday May 5 2008

Welcome to yet another brand spanking new week in which to play.

I want to thank everyone who wrote over the weekend about the impact that Ben Dunlap’s had on you. I certainly contained an amazing message.

Now, here we are at the first full week of May, and with 2/3rds of the year left there isn’t time to dally. If you are going to fulfill the promises you made in January, you need to make sure that all is clearly in place to make them manifest.

We’re going to get started this week with a few personal tweaks that should assist you in staying focused.

Tools to Help You Focus and Concentrate on Your Goal

Even with the right mindset, there’s every chance that you still won’t be able to focus and concentrate on the matter at hand. If you wish to attain your objectives quickly and efficiently, you should consider getting a little outside help in a manner of speaking.

The Atmosphere Speaks for Itself

The best place to work depends on your mood, your personality, and the type of project you’re tasked to accomplish. In most cases, adequate space, clean surroundings, and peace and quiet are enough to get brain cells to work. Some people however may wish to work outdoors in order to obtain more inspiration. The right answer will always depend on what you want!

The Sound of Music

Music – regardless of whatever genre you prefer to listen to – has the power to make all distractions fade and allow you to focus and concentrate more on your intentions. Of course, your need for music may not be something that you could and should share to other people.

To avoid irritating other people, use earphones when listening to your favorite tunes.

Attend Workshops

There are lots of workshops and seminars being offered to help individuals improve their focus and concentration. If you have time and money to spare, this is an opportunity you shouldn’t miss as developing the ability to focus and concentrate in an instant will do wonders for your career!

Self-Study through Books

Of course, if you don’t have enough time to attend lectures about focus and concentration, you can always learn from books instead. There are lots of books, and e-books, out in the market today to help you better understand the mechanics of focus and concentration.

Taking a Bath

Soaking yourself in a soothing warm bath will not only refresh your body but your mind as well. It’s even more helpful if you do this a short time before you work. No matter what time you intend to work on your goal, as long as you take a bath prior to working, you’re sure to feel refreshed and energetic!

Don’t Work on an Empty Stomach

Sticking to your diet and keeping yourself half-starved is not an option when you have a goal to reach and a deadline to beat. Eat plenty and healthily before you start working and you’ll find it significantly easier to memorize things and analyze and solve problems.

Don’t Be Shy to Use Self-Affirmations

Self-affirmation sentences are sadly underestimated by many. Positive thinking can go a long way in helping your brain work better and longer. Don’t be shy of saying what you want and what you intend to be through self-affirmations. As you say these words to yourself repeatedly, your mind will unconsciously absorb it more and more until it becomes the truth for you!

Use Breathing Exercises

Lastly, learn how to breathe properly as this can help relax your mind and body better. Breathing exercises, when done properly, can get the stress and pressure out of your system in an instant, enabling you to focus on the issues at hand immediately.

Of course, having all the tools you need to improve your focus and concentration won’t be enough either if you don’t have the right mindset. It goes both ways so make sure that you’ve got the right tools and the right attitude before tackling any Herculean task at work!

The Story of a Passionate Life!

A note from peter@thewealthyattitude.com for friday May 2 2008

I welcome you to the first weekend of May. Bring on Spring.

I’m so darned excited about today’s offering, and I expect you will play it a number of times over the weekend.

I could write mountains on how I feel about public speaking, passion, shared expression, and lifelong learning. But I won’t.

In today’s offering you are about to witness it all.

Ben Dunlap tells the story of Sandor Teszler, a Hungarian man he met at Wofford College. In telling Teszler's dramatic life story, which arcs from the Holocaust to the American Deep South of the 1950s, Dunlap shares some deep and, ultimately, moving lessons about justice -- and the power of lifelong learning. Sit back, witness, and listen.

The Story of a Passionate Life!

Have yourself an incredible weekend.

See you on Monday.