A note from email@example.com for Tuesday October 6, 2009
Hello there dear people and welcome to a very fine Tuesday indeed.
Today we are going to push it a bit off the edge. In North America, October is "seminar & conference" month. There is a plethora of events going on that cover almost every subject, topic, issue, personality, and business on the planet.
One of our long time subscribers attends many conferences as a matter of course in her business practice. I had the opportunity yesterday to have her unleash on me with her reflections on some conferences she recently attended. She expressed that in the last couple of years she has noticed a devolution of standards and ethics in the presentation and management of some very "public" events.
Some may find her style somewhat acerbic, however, looking closely you'll likely find her skillfully applied sardonic wit deliciously entertaining. You decide.
by Terra Finial
Making the conscious election to voice concern for the industry that once held grace, truthful people empowerment and the honorable goal of reaching for the highest common denominator, we find now a mushy crowd of the disingenuous emerging.
One might imagine schooling a maggot to rise up and graduate a as rodent. One might too, think of bottom feeders that actually need scuba gear as they stay down so long. There is more hope and thoughtful reflection held by T. Finial of the audiences. These people are far from asleep and they are on to this mud pile. They’ve got your number. They know what’s up. Yes, they are stressed and looking for assistance. Shame on you for the “kick ‘em when they are down” approach.
- Do treat everyone differently, this keeps people in their place, be it from a position of ego superiority or suppression (audience participant, or speaker) and helps in maintaining an environment of non-learning.
- Do actively practice gender racism. This is done quite affectively by simply not giving women or men the mic in Q & A sessions, depending upon your intention of restraint, control or containment of either gender. Your agenda will be protected.
- Ignore and suppress any useful advice coming from “real people” who have experience and do wish to enhance the environment. Awake men and woman both will stand up in such dynamics and offer universal truths. These people must be controlled and silenced, at all cost.
- Do hire Mic Police in your staffing that are free to give personal advise to the audience participants at the drop of a hat.
- As a MC or Seminar Organizer, stand on the stage regularly and tell the audience about how much integrity you have. This will solidify the fact that you have none.
- Do be as pretentious as possible when in front of the audience.
- Do ignore famous quotes: “the wonderful thing about Leadership is that if you have to tell someone you are one ~ you are not”
- Do market your seminar, to Speakers and Participants on the skirt of some grand person, who does have a place of prominence and integrity in the world, and then demonstrate regularly that you are not up to being in their company. This can be achieved easily by not walking your talk.
- Do encourage a fraction of your Speakers to “pitch” their product to the audience and do not tell the other speakers; let it be a surprise. This will enhance your bottom line, alienate the professional speakers, and establish long term relationships with those people out of integrity holding only interest in money.
- Do make sure that those that are allowed to pitch product do so under the guise of “donation” of profit to not-for-profit, so the Organizers can get their cut on leveraging all sales transactions of those people now and into the future.
- At the time of the “pitch” ignore the seasoned professional speakers, who have already offered grace, beauty and integrity leave and walk out of the seminar room. This will assure you that they will never be seen again at your gigs.
- Do make sure that you sell more than you said you would to concretely demonstrate and clear up any confusion that you might be good for your word. A useful approach would be to “ask” the audience after the fact, if it would be okay for you to not do as you said you would.
- Do forget all about the old adage “lipstick on a pig still leaves you with a pig”
- 14. As an Organizer, when a seminar participant approaches you to speak with you, put your open hand up in front of their face, walk away with a scowl on your face and say “ I don’t have time “. Make sure you don’t ask any questions of the participant before walking away.
- As an Organizer, hire staff that are not able to “do the work” without your constant intervention. This helps in displaying to others that you are an ego maniac, control freak and hold no trust in your own organization.
- If one of your staff members informs you that a participant gave them advise about sex and travel you’ll know you are on track in angering the audience.
- Do collapse great words into one big puppy pile and pitch them as not holding unique energetic meaning in the world. (as short list would be: integrity, transparency, trust, responsibility, authenticity, compassion, leadership, honor and service)
- In the registration process, make the signage and communication for all visitors as confusing as possible. Make then fight for it; as this will demonstrate clearly (in your mind only) that they are ‘cattle’, inferior, likely stupid and unable to figure things out and therefore need your guidance.
- Work actively upon and leverage the naïveté and innocence of “first timers” to seminar and keep them mesmerized in the dream of “ you too can be “. Particular focus upon their low self esteem will be most profitable.
- As an organizer, do not, under any circumstances, approach participants and ask them about their individual experience at the seminar. Only ask the complete group from the state such a question. This will silence (hopefully) those with constructive contributions and real feedback.
- Hand out feedback forms and give a tight limited time frame to have the audience fill them out and return them (10 – 15 minutes tops). Do this on the tail of a dynamic speaker. Under no circumstances let people have time for reflection or open discussion about the form.
- Do not ever discuss the best kept secrets of Nero Linguistic Programming and take the time to go to the film “The Invention of Lying” ~ it is a comedy and your proof in the pudding will be found in that you are not laughing and everyone else is.
This is a taste. If you wish the full manual, and are in training for the “mushy crowd” and wish to be very highly affective in reaching the bottom extremely fast, please send a note to: firstname.lastname@example.org indicating what size of a bucket of money you’d like to “donate” and the full list of do’s and don’t will be mailed to you pronto.
T. Finial comes to us with a Black Belt in group behavior and decades of experience of high level affective seminar attendance & organization.